They sacrificed one to save many. They didn’t necessarily want to make that choice, but it doesn’t make me feel any better as the one they left for dead.
Yae felt disgusted with herself for trying to be objective even as she stared her demise in the face. It was important that she kept her cool, but she didn’t need to suppress her emotions to that extent. In reality, I’m not the least bit okay with how they treated me. Anger at her current predicament and resentment from always being the one left behind broiled within her.
Yae had developed a bad habit of hiding such unbecoming thoughts under a veneer of detachment. Though she kept it to herself, she hated the way Kadaru used her as a pawn in his plans. All the things she should have said rose to the surface of her mind like bubbles. She knew nothing good came of regrets, but she couldn’t help herself.
If she became more candid with people, though, what would she do when annoyance showed on their faces, making it clear she was bothering them? Even a smile could mean that a person really liked you or that they merely tolerated you. Her heart would surely freeze up if she realized what she was seeing was the latter.
Yae knew she couldn’t expect everyone to be sunshine and rainbows with her all the time. But she couldn’t stand it when people openly displayed more kindness to others than to her, even if it was only a slight difference. Knowing she was asking too much but understanding her own feelings, she had tried to act magnanimous this time around. She told herself to behave like an adult.
I’m an idiot. She’d thought she just wanted to live. She’d thought that would be enough for her. But that was a lie. She wanted to be loved—truly loved—by someone in this world, and she wanted to love them back with all her heart. It had been her hope that that would lead to happiness. No, had been was wrong; she still wanted that even now.
Yae felt as if the feelings she had been fighting hard to suppress were roaring to life now that death was near.
“I don’t want to die!” she screamed with all her energy, and then she noticed something ahead.
The bloody deer skin that was sticking out of the crescent-shaped hole in the cavern suddenly swelled. It was as if someone had emerged from underground beneath it. The shade, which had been about to enter the cavern with Yae in hand, stopped as if on guard.
Two round eyes the color of sunflowers and brighter than the moon peeked out from under the deer skin. Yae looked on in astonishment as a giant black figure flew out like an arrow and attacked. She realized who it was and shouted without thinking.
“Lord Kuroashi!”
It had been some time since she had last laid eyes on him, but it was none other than Kuroashi who bit into the shade’s side. Kuroashi’s assault caused the monster’s grip to weaken, and Yae tumbled to the ground. She hastily crawled away and only turned around after she had put a good distance between herself and the shade.
Kuroashi destroyed the monster in no time. He tore off its arms and face with his sharp claws and crushed its windpipe between his jaws. The shade raised one last, hateful cry and transformed into a black clump of earth filled with stones, branches, and dead insects, which collapsed on the spot.
Kuroashi flicked his long tail and watched the corpse of the shade with labored breathing. Multiple men from Miya Province together couldn’t defeat that shade, and he killed it in seconds.
For some reason, however, Kuroashi had a large wound on his back. Yae noticed it was a sword wound, and then she remembered the sight of Lady Bihin slashing him with her sword on the night of the Kaizaka March. The wound hadn’t closed even though it was now the seventh moon, and fresh blood was spilling from it. Strangely, the blood disappeared without a trace when it hit the ground, as if it were some kind of illusion.
“What are you doing here, Lord Kuroashi?” Yae asked hoarsely from her position on the ground.
Kuroashi fixed his eyes on her and began to approach, his breathing still labored. She was intimidated by his otherworldly figure and staggered to her feet. He was threatening Yae, with no trace of his usual relaxed attitude. His intention was clear.
“Lord Kuroashi, stop!”
As if sensing Yae would try to run, Kuroashi pounced at her multiple times. Yae fought to avoid Kuroashi’s snapping jaws and tripped over her own feet, falling to the ground—directly onto the black earth that had been the shade. She put her hands behind her back and nearly jumped when her fingers brushed something hard. While remaining vigilant of Kuroashi watching her, Yae quickly glanced over her shoulder to see what it was that she had touched.
“…Huh?! The black sword?”
It looked as though the sword that she had left in the Whiskey House was sticking out of the black dirt. She drew it out immediately. It was clearly the same sword. Yae stared in blank amazement at the weapon in her hands and suddenly heard the voice of a man saying “Go.”
She jerked her head upward. There was no one there but Kuroashi. “Was that you, Lord Kuroashi?” she asked timidly, and the tiger squinted his sunflower eyes. It seemed like an affirmative answer.
“What do you mean, ‘go’? Go where—?” Yae hurriedly jumped up to back away from Kuroashi, who was lumbering toward her, and then gasped. They were suddenly in a completely different place. They should have been next to the crescent-shaped cave, but somehow, they were back in Kaki Province. The sky was almost dark.
What the heck?! She shuddered at the eerie turn and hugged the black sword close. “What’s going on, Lord Kuroashi?” Despite her intense confusion, Yae was positive that the tiger had caused their sudden shift in location. He had saved her from the shade, but she figured that was a coincidence; whatever they were doing here was probably his real purpose. She opened her mouth to ask what in the world he was dragging her into, but Kuroashi growled as if telling her to be quiet.
“March.” Kuroashi’s voice reverberated in her head. It was the voice of a young man.
Yae shut her mouth and, trembling, took a look around. They were undoubtedly in Kaki Province. The mountain slopes visible in the dim light were covered by countless terraced fields. She could see the contours of the Whiskey House about halfway up the mountain. The chipped neck was long and thin, and the body was short and stout—a unique silhouette. There were fields in the basin below the terraces as well, and she could just barely make out the meandering river.
She had seen this scenery countless times, but something about it was different. She felt out of place, like everything had been shifted to a slightly different dimension. As evidence, she could sense no people in the area. She heard no insects or birds and felt no wind. It was very similar to the atmosphere when she performed the Kaizaka March.
Is he telling me to perform the ceremony…? Why? Yae was unsure of the reason, but she sensed that she didn’t have time to think about it. There was no sign of any people, but the air held a restlessness that gave her chills. She understood that something terrifying was lurking in the dark.
“…By the earth.”