Power looked suddenly thoughtful. “Hm.”
“What now?”
“Where’s Denji?” Power asked, perhaps unexpectedly given her earlier disregard.
“What do you mean?” Kenzo sputtered. “He’s gone. I’m sure he got digested with the rest of the hunters.”
“What happens to things that get digested?”
“They probably flow out the door to the back hallway—the intestines. So?” Kenzo was still baffled by this line of inquiry.
Power was quiet for a moment, listening. Amidst the roar of the acid and the howling of the house, she thought she could detect another sound. “When did you last see Denji?”
“Just before I went to wake you up. He was tied up and asleep.”
“He could still be in the intestines!”
“Yeah, but how does that help us?”
B-b-brrm.
Power studied the undulating floor of the rec room. It was trying to draw them to the back of the house, deep into the digestive system. The blood that had flooded from the devil’s heart was being sluiced in the same direction, into the twisting corridor.
B … b … brr … bmm …
There was a noise like the groaning of a monster from the depths of hell.
“What the hell is that sound?” said Kenzo, looking around the room frantically.
If the house had swallowed Denji and shuffled him into its intestines … at that moment, he was being deluged with devil blood.
Brrrm! Brmbrmbrmbrm!
“It’s getting closer …” Kenzo said.
Brmbrmbrmbrrrm brm brm bzzzzzz!
“Something’s coming!”
Bz bzz bzz screeeeeeeechhhhh creakcreakbzzzzz!
Kenzo clapped his hands over his ears, his eyes screwed shut, but Power watched the entrance of the hall like a cat. “C’mon, partner!” she shouted. “Hurry up!”An instant later, the door exploded into splinters. Standing in the doorway was a bizarre figure. Steel chainsaws extended from its head and arms. Their teeth, sharp and bloody as the teeth of some wild animal, spun at dizzying speed. The sound of motors rent the air loudly enough to turn a human brain to mush.
“What the hell is that thing?” Kenzo cried, his hands still over his ears.
The chainsaw man turned slowly toward them. Amidst the pulsating walls and shower of acid, he looked like he’d stepped out of hell. But all he said was, “Buh? Whaz goin’ on? I just woke up like this …”
“Denji!” shouted Power. “This way!”
Kenzo was stunned. “That’s the guy from Public Safety? What in God’s name is going on at that place?”
“Screw you, Power! I ain’t forgotten how you threw me under the bus! Real nice!” Denji charged at her, only to be pelted with acid rain. “Ugh! Ow! What is this stuff?”
The acid burned his skin, but Denji’s chainsaw body drew blood from the floor and kept coming. In moments, his right blade was at Power’s neck. “You’re not gonna talk your way outta this one, Power!”
“Bring it up after we escape! We’re about to get eaten!” Power dismissed his threat.
“Say what?” Denji seemed to notice the scene around him for the first time. “Dammit, okay! What do you suggest we do?”
Power explained, “We need to get out of here, but the door won’t open.”
“What, this door? No problem. You just gotta use your head!” Denji ran at the door with his head lowered, driving the saw protruding from his skull straight through it.
“That’s still not what that phrase means!” Kenzo said as he followed Denji and Power out of the rec room.
Iron doors sprouted from the floor and ceiling, blocking their path. “Outta my way!” yelled Denji, slicing through one door after another as they made their way up the heaving hallway.
From behind them came a disgusting schlorp. Kenzo, bringing up the rear, looked back. “The acid’s coming after us!” A wave of acid rolled out of the rec room like the ultimate case of acid reflux. “Run! Run! Run!” Kenzo shouted.
They made it to the entry hall, but when Denji drove his chainsaws into the front door, they stuck fast. “Guh?” he exclaimed.
“We’re in trouble!” said Kenzo. “If this room is the house’s head, the front door is the mouth! It’ll be as strong as a jawbone!”
“The mouth, huh?” Denji wrenched his arm saws free. Smaller saws sprouted from his feet, allowing him to scramble up the wall. “Guess that makes these windows up here its eyes! And those aren’t tough at all!”
“Now that’s using your head!” said Kenzo.
Suspended by his feet, some fifteen feet above the front door, Denji smashed through the two picture windows. A vast, inhuman scream tore through the house. The front door split open vertically, like a screaming mouth. Power and Kenzo leapt through.
“We’re outside!” Power cried. The dark sky was edged with pale light. It was nearly dawn.
Denji vaulted through one of the broken windows and landed on the ground, saws roaring. “Powerrr!”
“Oh, don’t get so upset,” Power said. “As an apology, I might see my way to letting you squeeze my boob. One boob, one squeeze.”
“Uh …” Denji said and briefly paused, then shook his head vigorously. “Forget it, Power! I’m holding out for Ms. Maki—arrgh!” An iron stake shot out of the doorway and pierced Denji’s chest. In a final burst of malice, the House Devil dragged Denji back into its depths. As Denji screamed and struggled, the house swallowed him.
“Hey …” Kenzo stared in shock. “Your friend just got eaten.”
“So he did,” said Power. She and Kenzo could only stand and watch helplessly.
Its strength finally spent, the devil house let out a howl that echoed across the mountains. Then it began to fall apart, its exterior peeling away in gruesome, flesh-like chunks. By the time the pale light of morning filled the sky, there was nothing left but a vine-choked ruin.
“A devil possessed an old house and took on its appearance?”
“Apparently so. I thought the client who came to us looked suspicious, so I questioned him. It turned out the House Devil was forcing him to seek out victims to feed it.”
Over the crest of the mountain, chatting amicably, came Aki and Makima.
Power’s shoulders twitched. “Ma—”
“Surely you didn’t need to come all the way here yourself, ma’am,” said Aki.
Makima responded casually. “Well, with so many devils targeting Denji lately, I thought better safe than sorry. And I’ll be on a business trip to Kyoto next week. Why not enjoy a nature hike first? Or would you rather be out here solo?”
Aki waved his hands frantically. “No, not at all!”
Makima approached the ruin. “Oh, it’s Power,” she said calmly. “After the trouble I went to, it looks like you’ve got things under control after all.”
“Uh … yes! I, the great Detective Power, cracked this case like an egg!”
Beside her, Kenzo snarled. “Was that before or after you tried to kill me?”
“How dare you pin false accusations on me? After I saved your ungrateful life! Foolish dog!”
“Why, you …” Kenzo growled.
Aki lit a cigarette. “Give it up. She only remembers whatever’s convenient for her. So where’s Denji?”
“My assistant Denji was eaten by the house, I’m afraid,” Power said brightly. “A beautiful and noble end it was!”
“You can’t be serious,” Aki said.
Makima’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Do you think you could tell me a little more about what happened?”
With many an animated gesture, Power launched into a tale. “He was dissolved in the house’s stomach! Whereupon I tamed the awful beast with my boldness and daring! You see, the great Detective Power …”
When it became clear that her testimony wasn’t about to clarify anything, Kenzo stepped in and explained what had happened. After he finished, Makima only said, “Hmm.” She turned and walked to the back of the house. The others followed, puzzled.
Near the service entrance they found a messy pile of skeletons—and Denji, the right side of his body eaten away with acid.
“Ms. Makima!” he exclaimed. He waved cheerfully with his still-intact left hand.
Makima knelt down next to him. “Nice work, Denji. Looks like you handled this job capably.”
“You bet I did! I fixed everything for you on the double, no prob!” He flashed a peace sign.
“It’s hard to take that appraisal seriously when half your body is melted away,” Aki said. “How did you get out here?”
Makima brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “The recreation room was the stomach and the corridor beyond it was the intestinal tract, yes? It’s only logical that digested humans pass through the corridor and out the other side.”
“The back door is the butthole?” Power burst out laughing. “Ga ha ha ha! That makes you shit, Denji! Ca-ca! Crap! Poop! Henceforth, you shall be known as Poop, assistant to the great Detective Power!”
“Shut up! I bet Detective Magician doesn’t have a potty mouth!”
A short distance away, Kenzo stood watching them—the madwoman who lied through her teeth at a moment’s notice, the half-digested chainsaw creature bickering with her, and the two other agents chatting with them as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Under his breath, he muttered, “Thank God I didn’t make it into Public Safety.” Then he shuffled away from the scene, the morning air still ringing with Denji’s imprecations and Power’s cackling laughter.