“You’re kidding. You wanna buy me a phone?”
“You know that your father doesn’t think you should have one until you’re eighteen, don’t you? To be honest, I don’t think there’s a need to be quite so strict anymore. You would be able to contact us in an emergency, and owning such a piece of technology might encourage an interest in IT. I think it might be good for you to learn how to handle that level of responsibility.”
“Yeah… Yeah, you’re so right!”
“I’ve been thinking about negotiating with your father to see if we can get you one a little earlier instead of just putting our feet down until you’re eighteen.”
“I think that’s a great idea!”
“However, you can’t get anywhere in a negotiation without bringing something to the table first. Do you understand what I mean? For example, my bargaining position would be stronger if I was able to tell him that you’ve promised to work hard and improve your grades. Or if you’ve promised not to act contrarian toward your parents anymore.”
“Oh, I can totally promise that! I’ll keep to it, too! I’ll study hard, and I’ll never tell you to shut up ever again!”
“Wonderful! In that case, I have a promise of my own to make. I will come at these tough negotiations with everything I have and ensure that they have drawn to a close by the time you start high school, at the very latest.”
“Sounds good, whatever you just said! I’m rooting for you! Oh my god, I’m way too hyped! You gotta make sure it’s an iPhone, okay?!” I started to skip from the living room, happy as could be.
“Wait. Now you have to look at me.”
“Huh?! I said I don’t have time!”
“Oh.” Mom crossed her legs and fixed her eyes on me. She raised an eyebrow in that one familiar expression and shoved her glasses up her nose with her middle finger. I could hear her voice through the face she was making.
“Who was it that just promised not to act contrarian toward her parents anymore? Well? I’m waiting. Tell me.”
“Okay, fine! I get it! Just stop using your weird hypnosis on me. What is it I’m s’posed to be looking at exactly?”
“Something is different about me, something that I’ve only just noticed myself. I wanted to see if you could pick up on it.”
“Huh? I dunno. You didn’t go to the salon, did you? And you’ve had those clothes for ages.”
“Allow me to give you a hint.” Without getting up from the couch or taking her eyes off me, Mom slowly flexed her left arm and placed her fist on her chest.
“Uh, I still don’t know. Is that how they perform their national anthem overseas? They do that at soccer games, right? Like, da, dum, dum, da, dum! We’re so pumped for this game!” I sang, then laughed. “Wait, okay, I really wanna guess this now. What country are we talking about?”
“You are on the wrong track entirely.”
“Oh, okay, um, then it’s, uh…that one comedian who’s always beating his chest… Passion…Naha? Mera? I dunno, I feel like I’m way off…”
“Focus your attention here.” Mom pointed at her left wrist. Was it her joint? That bony bump on it? Her watch? Oh.
Her watch!
“Your watch is gone!”
“Correct!”
“All right! I got it!”
Mom always wore this intricate gold watch on her left wrist. She loved that thing; Dad had given it to her before I was born, and she never went a day without wearing it. It was only now that I noticed it was gone. Kinda embarrassing that I was cheering about getting the right answer…
“Wait a sec! So you’re not wearing your watch. Did you really have to get all dramatic over it?” It wasn’t like the dumb thing was glued to her. She could take it off whenever she wanted. What kinda weirdo made a big deal about wearing it or not wearing it?
“I don’t remember how long it’s been gone for exactly.” Mom was mumbling. It wasn’t like her. I didn’t like where this was going.
“Wait…”
“Yes. I seem to have lost it.”
I was so shocked I couldn’t even make a sound. My mouth hung open as I stared at her. She must have been depressed. It was almost impossible to tell at a glance, but as her daughter, I could just about pick out the slightly upturned angle of her eyebrows.
It was unthinkable that Mom could lose something so important to her. She was as incredible as she was annoying. She taught at a university, and she even wrote books. Where I sucked at everything, she excelled, and I’d never seen her make a mistake. Dad would always say her only misstep was marrying him, and then burst into laughter. I’d then jump in to agree with him. Mom would be the only one not laughing. She’d just say “Oh” in the usual tone of voice and with the usual expression.
And now, my perfect mom had just screwed up. Big time.
“You lost it?! No way! When?! Where?!”
“I really don’t know. I only just realized it was missing.”
“Think! Did you have it yesterday?! The day before that?”
“I cannot remember the last time I took it off. I wonder whether you would allow me to explain my theory to you?”
“Sure.”
“I have little evidence, but I can assure you that the logic behind it is watertight.”
“I get it. Hit me with it already.”
“I think I must have lost it at the funeral.”
“Ah…”
Last month, my grandpa (on my mom’s side) suddenly fell ill and passed away. Before that, he was perfectly healthy and living on his own, so it was a huge shock to the family. None of us had been prepared, and it was a real trip to attend the funeral. Our sadness and exhaustion meant the mood in the house was the pits for a while afterward. It was only recently that his ashes were put into his urn and we were finally able to get on with our regular lives.
“I was so busy with everything, greeting everyone and all sorts of preparations, that I didn’t even sleep. I was so exhausted that it felt like there was a thick haze over my mind. I might have taken it off when I went to the bathroom, but I’m not sure. Either way, I’ve lost it. It’s such a pity…” She let out a lethargic sigh.
“Hey! Don’t just sigh about it!” I grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a vicious shake. A simple theory about how she might’ve lost it wasn’t enough to calm me down. “You need to panic! You loved that watch! Didn’t you say it was like a symbol of your whole married life?!”
“Panicking won’t solve the problem. Besides, I’ve already done what I could. I’ve called the funeral hall, the crematory, and the temple to inquire. I even contacted the police. I’m more concerned at the moment about whether your father noticed. You didn’t, so…”
“I mean…”
Mom and I exchanged a glance and, two seconds later, a nod. There was no way Dad would have noticed. I was as different from my mom as I was like my dad. We had similar faces, and our personalities and paces of life were exactly the same. We were cut from the same cloth, or at least that was my theory. If I hadn’t noticed, I had no doubt Dad wouldn’t have either. I mean, Mom hadn’t realized, and she was the smart one. Dad and I were Tweedledum and Tweedledumber, so what hope did we have?
He was bound to be upset if he noticed. There was no way he would blame Mom. Instead, he’d do everything to hide his distress for her sake. She and I both knew it, so if we could, we’d rather spare him from that sadness in the first place.
“Why not just buy the same watch again?”
“I thought you might make that suggestion, but I think you know why I can’t.”
“Yeah, I know. You won’t lie to him.”
“Exactly. I can’t lie. I’ve been that way ever since I was born.”
“What are you gonna do, then? Just go on living your life like it never happened ’cause you know Dad won’t notice? Like you never had the watch? D’ya really think you could?”
“You never know. It could turn up out of the blue.”
“I mean, I sure hope so.”
Mom fell silent, her fingers coming to rest on her bare wrist. It was rare to see her so troubled.
I looked at the wall clock. It was half past three. Dad would be home from the gym soon.