Another three days passed. This time, his hair was red. Three days later it was purple. He went from one color to the next, each as vibrant as the last. It was unbelievable. Which color would he go for next? I could not miss it. I would start looking for him every single day. He and his friends always boarded from the same door.
I didn’t know his name. I didn’t know how old he was. All I knew was where I needed to steal the best glances at him, and I knew it well.
That takes us back to now.
His hair’s black again? That was the last color I expected! Oh my god…
Still screaming internally, I opened up LINE on my phone. I tapped out a rapid message to my friend.
I saw him! He’s got black hair again!
The read marker came up right away, followed by the reply.
Seriously?
You should see the state of his cuticles!
How glossy does his hair look now?
Super glossy and more breathtaking than mint gum!
I wasn’t exaggerating. His hair was so gorgeous in black that it didn’t even make sense.
Think you could get a photo?
When I read that, I thought my eyes were about to pop out of my skull.
“Are you kid—” I started without realizing it. I snapped my mouth shut and began to tremble. Was she serious right now?
No. Way.
Not even gonna try?
No, I meant it. Was she serious? I was so exasperated. I left her on read, like she deserved. What kinda weirdo would take sneak pictures of people? It wasn’t even one of those things that was pretty much fine as long as you didn’t get caught.
A photo, huh? I thought.
With a photo, I could look at him whenever I wanted. I could zoom in. If I ever got a video of him, I could plug my earphones in and listen to his voice on demand. I’d hear him deep in my ears, and it’d be like he was only talking to me. He could call me a “dumbass.” Be like, “c’mon!” and stuff. As many times as I wanted him to. Just thinking about it made it feel like my heart was gonna jump right out of my throat.
Crap! I need it! Wait, no! Not happening! I gotta respect his privacy!
Clenching my stomach, I let out a long, passionate breath. This was a line I couldn’t cross. Just because I was an innocent teenage girl with an unrequited crush didn’t mean I got a free pass to do whatever I wanted.
Once I miraculously got my breathing under control, I started chewing on my lip. I glanced sideways at him. A photo was out of the question, so I at least wanted to get a proper look at him while I still could. I needed to burn his image onto my retinas till they started smoking.
I wish my eyesight was better. I wish I had 40/40 vision. I wonder if I can get glasses that’ll give me that. Like glasses that make you see super well even if you’re not shortsighted. Oh wait, they’re called binoculars. Yeah, binoculars… When could I get away with using binoculars on a train? Right, never. Maybe it’d be better to find cover from a faraway spot and watch him through one of those scope things they have on bazookas… Wait, what’s wrong with me? I swear, I’m getting more stalkerish by the second!
Obviously, I didn’t wanna make him feel awkward or anything. I was happy just staring at him like I always had. Though I guess it’d be nice to know his name. And how old he was. And…
I wonder if he’s got a girlfriend.
That was vital info. He might have one. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. Then again…
If he had a girlfriend, why would he hang out with the exact same two friends every single day?
Thinking about it that way, he might not have one. I sure hoped he didn’t. Please say he didn’t. Because if he didn’t…
Right then, my delusions started zooming away from me at full speed.
No girlfriend, silky hair, and more breathtaking than gum. One day, he noticed the existence of the lone teenage girl who always rode the same train as him. She had been watching him this whole time…
I closed my eyes, opened them again, and looked at him.
“You really gotta stop blaming everything on Mou-chan,” he said, slapping his friend’s shoulder, flashing his white teeth as he grinned.
Finally, our eyes meet, and a strange sensation washes over us. It’s like we’ve known each other forever, like our meeting has been foretold since the beginning of time. Like we’ve come home for the first time in years… We’re immediately attracted to each other, instantly in love…
Dates. Confessions. Kisses. Memories. Celebrations. Evenings that we share, just the two of us. Damn.
I wanted to bang my head against the wall—the hardest wall I could find. This cascade of delusions was out of control. Inside, I was rolling on the floor like crazy, enough that I felt like I was gonna fall over for real.
Oh my god! I can literally see it! Like a vision of the future!
I was probably the biggest idiot to ever walk the planet Earth. I could swear I was gonna cry. We were so in love in my fantasies that things couldn’t be more perfect or romantic.
Decades pass, and he gets older. The waves lap at the shore in the distance. He listens to them with his cane in hand as he slowly climbs the slope beside the sea. And next to him… Huh?