Chapter 5
“DOMINATUS!” THE CROWD CHANTED.
A whirlwind of fiery excitement whipped up the colosseum. The audience filled the seats of the titanic, round venue, all chanting the name of a single man. They were lauding the valiant gladiator who stood victorious after a rigorous battle. Dominatus was at the center of this cheering, and he was slowly waving as he walked by, reveling in his victory with the crowd.
The white sands of the arena had splotches of red, dyed by the blood of the gladiators who had lost, and Dominatus stepped over these crimson puddles without a care, as was the right of a victor. His masculine, rugged features coupled with the faint smile that danced on his lips made him look arrogant. When he put on a serious demeanor, he looked so dignified that one could only attempt to swallow their nerves.
Indeed, the colosseum was where Dominatus looked the liveliest, and he once again clinched a landslide victory. Was there any gladiator in the world that could best him? While the program still continued, Lucianus had nothing more to see after Dominatus’s match—he was not fond of rowdy places. When he stood up to leave, Dominatus turned his way. For a moment, Lucianus thought that he’d met his eyes, but he didn’t think that he could be seen within the crowd from such a distance. He turned away and walked up the stairs.
He met up with Kaira, who had watched the match from the floor above, and as the pair walked down the halls, Lucianus was unfortunately spotted by a troublesome man.
“Why, if it isn’t Lucianus! How rare to see you here at the colosseum!” the familiar man called from behind. He slapped Lucianus on the shoulder as a show of friendliness.
His name was Mizaro, and he was Lucianus’s friend from their academy days. He was a good-natured man, but loved to gossip, and relished hearing about scandals. Every time the two met, Lucianus was forced to listen to silly rumors he cared nothing about.
“I suppose even a proud pessimist like you, interested only in studying, is intrigued by the greatest gladiator of his time,” Mizaro said. “He’s very popular these days.”
“I’m not really interested,” Lucianus replied. “I’m just here to waste some time.”
He didn’t want his presence to be described so simply with a crude word like “interest.” His tone was dreadfully icy, but Mizaro was completely unbothered by the voice of his grumpy friend. He gave a boisterous laugh.
“Wasting time, you say?” Mizaro said. “I suppose that’s par for the course for you. Meanwhile, people are obsessed with discussing who’s stronger: Dominatus or Grucos.”
“Such discussions are nothing new,” Lucianus replied.
“But the excitement we feel now is unmatched! The date for their battle has finally been set. I’m so excited that I can barely contain myself.”
Lucianus was shocked; he hadn’t heard about it. “Did His Imperial Majesty finally allow such a fight?”
Mizaro lowered his voice. “Apparently so. The emperor himself will be the host. His popularity has been waning recently, so I’m sure he’s trying to score some points with the people by having a grand match.” He shook his head. “Well, well. This will be a fight for the ages. Speaking of which, I heard that the handsome Dominatus has been rather close with Mrs. Almeia as of late. Oh, I’m sure he’s putting his lower ‘sword’ to good use in the bedroom. I’m so envious that he gets to be with that beautiful widow.”
Lucianus cast an icy gaze at his grinning academy friend as his rumors turned raunchy. The noble didn’t want to hear about the people that Dominatus was close with.
“I’m in a rush. I must be off,” Lucianus said.
He left with Kaira in tow, leaving Mizaro behind, though the chatterbox likely still had much more to say.
“Please don’t let it bother you,” Kaira said in a reserved tone.
“I won’t,” Lucianus replied immediately. “I don’t care who he sleeps with. It has nothing to do with me.”
And that’s the truth, he told himself. While he’d been intimate with Dominatus on several occasions, it was only because Lucianus was paying money. Their relationship was nothing more than a prostitute and his client. Lucianus was simply a good customer to Dominatus, and nothing more. It was ironically hilarious for Lucianus to be jealous of the women that also bought Dominatus.
“Shall I call for Sir Dominatus tonight?” Kaira asked, trying to be as considerate as he could.
“No need,” Lucianus replied. “He must be awfully busy being with the women who’re excited about his victory today.”
His sarcastic remarks were nothing short of ugly jealousy.
✦ ✦ ✦
When Lucianus returned home, he found Juliana taking an afternoon nap on the sofa in the sunroom.
“Welcome back,” she said. “Were you out at the colosseum? You’ve been rather fanatical recently. Do you like Dominatus that much?”
He wasn’t sure if her words held any deeper meaning, but as he saw her yawning, he decided they didn’t and ignored her questions.
“Why weren’t you there?” Lucianus asked. “Simon put on a good fight today as well.”
Juliana glanced at Lucianus, who sat across from her. “I’m not into him anymore.”
He stared at her face in exasperation. “You claimed that you were in love with him.”
“I’m not to blame. Love is like a migratory bird that comes and goes as it pleases. It arrives without warning and leaves just as suddenly. All I can do is accept these feelings and watch them leave. I can cry and beg for them to stay, but these heartless birds won’t listen to a word I say.”
Her hair was usually neatly tied up, but today it was let down over her shoulders. She was a bit down, her feelings of love lost.
“Is love really so unrestrained? Does it not last forever?” Lucianus inquired.
“Nope,” Juliana declared. “Nothing lasts forever. Love is when your heart flutters. It’s passionate and joyful. It’s very similar to the excitement you feel in the colosseum. It doesn’t last for long.”
She pinched a baked snack between her fingers. Women are infatuated with love, but they can also be so scarily realistic, Lucianus thought. He found himself at a loss for words as the silence stretched between them.
“I think endless love exists,” Lucianus said. He didn’t want to think that his passionate, crazy affection for Dominatus would disappear one day. These feelings had taken root deep within Lucianus’s heart, becoming a part of who he was.
“No, love will always end,” Juliana said. “But it may change into romance.”
“How do they differ? Both require one to have feelings of endearment toward their partner, don’t they?”
“Love is about your own desire. You want to be satisfied. You want to be happy. You can only think about yourself. But romance is different. You want to satisfy your partner and make them happy. You end up thinking about your partner first.”
Lucianus furrowed his brow while mulling over his cousin’s words. “How does that differ from love that a child receives from their parents? Is that not the same as how a parent would dote over their biological child?”
“Love from a parent is unconditional. A mother who can breastfeed her child is happy simply to feed her kin. Her happiness comes from being able to shower another with love. She will ask for nothing in return. But the same can’t be said for love between partners. One will love another, hoping to be loved back. If that love isn’t reciprocated, you’ll be devastated, but even so, you can’t help but love that person. And so, you continue to pine for them.”
I sort of get what she’s saying, but sort of don’t.
“Love is difficult to understand,” Lucianus admitted.
“I don’t understand it well myself. The line between love and romance is blurred and filled with mysteries. But I do think that while one can live without love, if one were to lose true romance, they won’t be able to continue living.” She wore a melancholic expression.
“Did something happen?”
Did the fact that her love with Simon ended hurt her more than Lucianus had expected?
“Nothing at all,” Juliana replied. “I just got a bit emotional, I guess. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever get to experience this true romance. Oh, don’t worry. I don’t need to be consoled. I don’t mind feeling this way sometimes.”
She sighed and ate her snack, but Lucianus was more tempted to give a sigh of his own.