Walking around Shibuya in the scorching sun, holding his aching hand, Mitsuhiro thought about renting a car over and over. But whenever he actually stopped in front of a rental-car center, he succumbed to his fear at the thought of skipping mortgage payments to afford it.
He also opted to quit making his little pre-prep shopping trips at convenience stores. With only his right hand available, he didn’t want to have too much luggage on him, and this blast-furnace weather was melting the ice cream and heating up the drinks too fast anyway.
The shopping, he resolved, would wait until he found Yoshikazu Hara. But now the sun was about to set, and he hadn’t found him once. He no longer had a car, which was one reason, but a lot of it had to do with his aching left hand. Every park he went to, every tent city he walked around, every time he felt he was this close to finding Yoshikazu Hara, the pain in his hand would drown it out.
Like his father suggested, he bought some painkillers at the pharmacy, but they didn’t help much. And yet as soon as he started heading back to the station, thinking he should give up for today, the pain faded away. It was like the pain only existed to hinder him from his extremely important job.
Exhausted, he got on the train and returned to his condo, resigning himself to the fact that finding Yoshikazu Hara might have to wait until his hand healed up.
As soon as he opened the front door, he felt a strange emptiness. The lights were off, and Miyoko’s and Sae’s shoes weren’t there. Wasn’t she discharged by now? Did she get worse?
He turned on the lights as he pondered the question…and was startled to see that the wall was peeling.
No, that wasn’t it; the newspaper had fallen off the wall. He took off his shoes, approached the wall, put his bag on the floor, and picked up two fallen thumbtacks. Fearing the pain in his left hand, he pressed down the newspaper with his elbow and pinned it back with another thumbtack.
The stain wasn’t fully covered. It was seeping out from underneath the newspaper, spreading not only on the walls but also on the ceiling and floor. Some of the newspaper was stained now, and the printed text was dissolving into the face of a tormented ghoul. He shivered.
Looking at the amulet pinned near the ceiling, he saw that the white fabric of the pouch had turned a pitiful, dirty gray. That thing had cost him two hundred thousand yen. Mitsuhiro fell to his knees in exhaustion. Would burning it and performing a purification ritual still be effective? It seemed unlikely, but he thought he might do it anyway. If it didn’t give him something to hope for, why did he spend all that money? Because clearly, purifying that piece of gravestone wasn’t enough. He may as well have thrown half a million yen in cash into that pond.
Mitsuhiro stood up on unsteady legs and looked around Sae’s room, along with the darkened dining room and bedroom. No one was there. He was in his own home, but now he was overcome with the feeling that he had nowhere to go. He felt like a homeless person, wandering around some building, looking for a place to rest quietly.
If things continued like this, he’d soon think it’d be easier to just throw himself into that hole. The thought had already occurred to him.
Hang in there.
He thought he heard his father’s voice from somewhere. Yeah. He’s right. That was just the kind of encouragement Mitsuhiro needed. If he didn’t hang in there, he’d lose his home. He had to find Yoshikazu Hara soon. He couldn’t give in to the pain of his wounds. Then the hole would be satiated. Surely it would release him.
Suddenly, his phone rang in his jacket pocket. Mitsuhiro took it out and saw the call was from Miyoko. As soon as he tapped the call button and put it to his ear, an onrush of emotion exploded out.
“Why aren’t you at home?!”
“What? What do you mean by that?!”
“I mean why the hell aren’t you at home?!”
“Because you weren’t! It smells awful! And look at that wall! Why are you still there? You know it’s crazy, right?”
“Then where do you want me to be?”
“I don’t know! That’s why I’m worried! Please calm down a little!”
Mitsuhiro leaned against a (non-stained) wall and took a deep breath. She was right. What had happened to him?
“Where are you right now?” he asked, his voice suddenly weaker.
“At my parents’ house,” Miyoko replied, also growing a bit calmer. “It’s the only place I can go. Sae’s with me.”
“Why’d you take her with you?”
“Because you can’t even feed her properly! You can’t even come visit me at the hospital! You were out somewhere in the middle of the night again, weren’t you, on whatever work you’re doing?”
“Well, if I go to your house, your family’s just gonna yell at me and kick me out.”
“They told me I could stay here as long as we need to work our issues out. You were the one who yelled at Mom first. She and Dad are holding their ground here.”
The moment he imagined his in-laws’ faces, his violent side once again surged.
“What issues? I’ve been working hard all this time!”
“What are you talking about? Calm down.”
“I am calm!”
“Seriously, what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“We have a lot less money in our account now. Did you buy something?”
Mitsuhiro was at a loss. He knew he had to explain that at some point, but now was really not the time. He even resented Miyoko for choosing this moment.
“It’s for our home. We need it.”
“You didn’t spend hundreds of thousands of yen on that good-luck charm, did you?”
He was about to say The hell’s wrong with that? before stopping himself. This was tiptoeing close to major fight territory. But Miyoko’s strong tone didn’t relent for a moment.
“Does it have anything to do with the police showing up?”
“The police?”
“They called me. I said I was at my parents’, and they came all the way over here. They asked me a bunch of questions about your work, but I mean… Is it true that you’re going around talking to homeless people? Are you really taking them somewhere in a company car in the middle of the night?”