AFTERWARD, Nieshima, accompanied by Dr. Fukuda and the snake deity, apologized to the Tenjin Ayakashi Neighborhood Council. She promised to compensate the ayakashi she’d harmed and to dedicate her spiritual energy to community service for a fixed period of time. Before then, however, she would return to the island of her birth to discuss her future with her family.
As for me, I stopped clocking in at night and returned to working normal business hours.
A few days after that, on a sunny, midsummer afternoon, Dr. Fukuda visited our office. Large owl’s wings extended from his back. He still wore round, gold-rimmed glasses, and his long, silver hair had been tied into a loose ponytail. Despite how eye-catching he appeared to me, the mirror portrayed an ordinary man with short, black hair. I still hadn’t gotten used to that phenomenon.
He turned to me while munching on a large piece of strawberry-filled daifuku. “You had a rough go of it too, eh?”
“No, not at all,” I said. “I’m sorry for not introducing myself sooner, especially after you helped me leave my last company.”
“Think nothing of it. Legal consultation is my job. Besides, I’m hard to catch, constantly flying from one case to another.”
Well, you are an owl, after all! I wanted to quip. Somehow though, I kept the comment to myself. “So, um, what will Nieshima do from here on out?”
“At the very least, she’ll struggle to find work as an exorcist in this lifetime,” Dr. Fukuda replied. “Every so often, there are humans who think they can treat ayakashi however they like. And as you know, some ayakashi do the same to humans. Fundamentally, humans and ayakashi on the Near Shore influence each other’s behavior.”
I left the reception room after that, since Shinozaki and Dr. Fukuda had other business to discuss. Just before closing the door, I heard Dr. Fukuda say, “Well then, shall we discuss the next matter at hand, Lord Shino?”
Shino?
Holding my breath, I turned back toward the door, still balancing the tray of daifuku. I had initially figured “Shino” was a nickname, a former name, but their exchange confirmed my growing suspicion: Shinozaki’s current, real name was Shino.
“I really don’t know anything about him…” I murmured as I resumed descending the stairs. “Still, I don’t need to know everything as his fan, right? I’m not interested in celebrities’ real names, yearbook pictures, or anything like that. Whatever he chooses to reveal about himself is good enough for me.”
My fingers tight on the tray, I mumbled such excuses to myself. Yet the bite mark on my neck stung ever so sweetly, mocking my attempts at composure.
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OBLIQUE sunlight suffused the empty office; the midsummer sunset was blinding. As I stood to close the blinds, Shinozaki reentered the room.
“How about a break?” he asked, holding up a package. “We can eat the leftover strawberry daifuku together.”
“Oh, wow, really?” My stomach had just begun rumbling for dinner.
“Hurry up. There’s only enough for the two of us.”
“Oh my gosh, thank you so much! Would you like something to drink?”
“Is there any barley tea left?”
“Yep. I’ll brew some up for us.”
We sat side by side at the conference table with our treats and tea. The strawberry inside the daifuku was so big that it nearly popped out on my first bite. I had bought the variety of mochi as a gift before but never eaten it myself, and the late-afternoon sweets really hit the spot.
Shinozaki glanced at the transit card case hanging from my desk. “The shield really came in handy, huh?”
I smiled sheepishly. “It sure did. Still, I wouldn’t mind having a less silly amulet.” Part of me could understand why Nieshima had thought it a prank at first.
Shinozaki responded with an enigmatic smile, the corners of his mouth barely twitching. “On the contrary, I like how amateurish it seems. If you started fumbling around with a real miko’s amulet, then…”
“Then?”
“Looking too much like a miko might land you in unnecessary danger. It would defeat the purpose.”
“That makes sense.”
An indescribable ache squeezed my chest. He was hiding something. But what boss didn’t hide a hundred different things from his staff? Nor were we close friends.
Yeah… I’m just his employee. Nothing more.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, cocking his head suspiciously. “Cat got your tongue?”
I looked at him. As I studied his golden eyes and sharp cheekbones, he swallowed a bite of daifuku and licked his lips. My face grew warm, and I glanced away, stiffening in my seat.
Shinozaki stood and poured me another cup of barley tea. “Here,” he said, handing it to me.
Breaking free from my paralysis, I reached for it. “Th-Thank you very—”
Before I could grasp the cup, Shinozaki lifted my chin and kissed me.
It was the perfect ambush. With a silent squeal, my mind went blank. My entire body flushed with heat as though a sweet fire had ignited at my very core. I hadn’t understood the sensation during our first kiss, but suddenly I was vividly aware of spiritual energy draining from my every cell.
As I shuddered, Shinozaki leaned in to press his lips more firmly against mine. I grabbed his shirt, melting into the kiss with a sigh.
In all likelihood, our lips merely brushed for less than a second. Yet I felt as though he kissed me for five years.
When our lips parted, he backed away from me, and I reflexively snatched his sleeve. Our eyes met. I could see myself reflected in his golden irises.
“Shinozaki,” I said.
“Sorry for startling you.”
“No, it’s fine. This is a little frustrating, though.”
“What is?”
I frowned. “Why is it always and only me falling apart over every kiss?”
“Always? We’ve only kissed twice.”
“Exactly! We’ve kissed two times!”
“I am sorry about this.” He ruffled my hair. “Really, I mean it.”
His casual touch and kind gaze should have bothered me but didn’t. That frustrated me even more. “Do you feel… anything other than sorry?”
“Anything else? Oh, you’re wondering if I forgot our deal. Don’t worry, my tail is all yours.”
“Um, that’s not what I meant, but… Sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying either.”
How did I even want him to respond?
When Shinozaki proffered his tail, I buried my hands in its fur, enjoying the soft sensation between my fingers. All the while, guilt gnawed at me for trying to force an answer.
“Kaede,” Shinozaki said after a long while. “How could I not feel anything? Still, this is the only way I can absorb your spiritual energy. I really am sorry about that.”
I could tell how much care Shinozaki put into kissing me. He always waited until the office was empty. He kissed me unexpectedly so I wouldn’t suffer from nerves. Likewise, he always kissed me delicately to show that the act had no deeper meaning. And of course, he let me touch his tail to my heart’s content.
He couldn’t help me without kissing me; we had no other choice. So why was I struggling so much when he was showing me all the concern in the world?
“You have your own life,” he said. “Being kissed by your boss probably makes you feel sick to your stomach, but…just think of it as being bitten by a fox and strike it from memory. Someday, you can overwrite it with a proper first kiss.”
“Overwrite it?”
“I’m sorry,” he said one last time. He picked up the empty plate and left the office.
How do I want Shinozaki to feel about me?
As I sat alone, pressing a hand to my lips, I had a flash of insight.
“Now I see,” I murmured. “I don’t want an apology. I want to know how he feels about kissing me.”
Shinozaki had made his concern for my feelings abundantly clear. He’d even explained his thought process.
And yet…
I still had no idea how he felt.
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