I sat bolt upright, startled, and the gods’ expressions relaxed. Liebeskhilfe the Goddess of Binding was the only one still wearing a frown.
“Goodness, what a disappointment,” she groused. “You went into the past and got nothing from it, hmm?”
“I would not say nothing...” I muttered in response. I might have been too heavy-handed in confessing to Lord Wilfried, but the experience had taught me plenty. I truly had gained a lot from the trip.
“Well, I would! Although you laid your heart bare to Wilfried, I couldn’t bind your threads together at all. Here I was, hoping to do little ol’ Hannelore a kindness, since you always go to the trouble of praying to me...”
The goddess groaned. She was clearly vexed, but I could not mask my elation as I said, “I am glad my offerings have reached you, O holy Liebeskhilfe. Your efforts to repay me are an honor beyond my worth. I thank you ever so much.”
“With just a little more time, everything could have gone wonderfully. Why did you have to break the taboo?” the Goddess of Binding asked, pursing her lips.
Dregarnuhr placed a hand on Liebeskhilfe’s shoulder, assuring her she was not to blame. Then, turning toward me, she continued, “As I warned you, Hannelore, I have erased all memories connected to your journey to the past. It will be as though we never sent you back.”
She explained that history would revert to its original course. Everyone would forget my fourth-year confession to Lord Wilfried, the understanding I reached with Cordula and my other retainers, my leadership in restoring our gathering spot, and my triumph over the helwolves.
“I understand, O holy Dregarnuhr. But would you leave my memories as they are? I came to many valuable revelations during my time in the past, and I would not wish to forget them.”
“Very well. Let those revelations be my kindness to you.”
I nodded. I would cherish my new memories above all else.
“Still, what a surprise,” Liebeskhilfe mused aloud. “Who would have thought that Wilfried, of all people, was the object of your affection?”
“Come again...?” I asked, blinking at her.
“It was you who severed the tie between your threads in the first place. To think you would go all the way back to the past to repair the damage... Humans truly are strange.”
“Um, what do you mean?” I asked, my head tilted in complete and utter bewilderment. The Goddess of Binding mirrored the gesture.
“You prayed for it, did you not?”
“For my connection with Lord Wilfried to be severed...? Not to my knowledge, no.”
“Well, your prayer reached me. It was a rather strong one too.”
She waved her hand, and a metallic surface materialized in the air. In it, I could see... myself. Judging by the furniture and such, I was in my room in the dormitory.
“When too many prayers arrive at once, I am unable to comprehend them all,” Liebeskhilfe explained. “I set aside the particularly strong ones to review them in isolation.”
To think this is how we look to them...
It felt as though I were gazing into the water mirror we used for communication. I watched my past self speak with Cordula in a panic, then start praying with a desperate look on her face.
“O Liebeskhilfe, Goddess of Binding! I thank you ever so much for the blessings you bestowed upon me. You have done enough! Because of you, I now have more options than I ever thought possible. I do not require any more. Praise be to the gods!”
Ah! In the face of so many confessions, I did ask not to have any more choices!
“I see you remember, then,” Liebeskhilfe said. “When I received your prayer, I ensured your thread would not be bound to anyone but your suitors at the time.”
What a disaster! To think it was my own prayer that cost me whatever future I might have had with Lord Wilfried...
It was surprising enough that my words had reached a goddess, let alone that they had restricted my choice of suitors to those I wished to be with or who had proposed to me at that moment in time. I had not confessed to Lord Wilfried or even recognized my feelings for him until after praying to Liebeskhilfe.
“Just how poor can my timing be?” I muttered as the world around me began to sway.
The Goddess of Time rested a hand on her cheek and sighed. “It hardly seemed poor to me. Liebeskhilfe will bind any two threads together, but there is no guarantee they will mesh well. Some combinations turn out to be quite poor. You chose to withdraw, did you not? Forcefully attempting to mend a severed connection seldom ends well.”
“Excuse me...?”
Did she consider Lord Wilfried and me a poor match? I turned my focus to the more cooperative Goddess of Binding, hoping she would protest.
“As long as they desire it, what does it matter?” Liebeskhilfe asked. “True lovers will accept any misfortunes that befall their union, and watching them suffer is such a delight! Work can be so dull; should we not seek entertainment where we can?”
Beneath her amiable grin, I suddenly beheld a bottomless well of malice. To the gods, watching us go about our lives and granting our wishes was both their duty and a form of amusement.
“Work is work; it must be treated with the utmost seriousness,” Dregarnuhr said. “And while I tolerate your tendency to treat everything as a game, I would rather you refrain from toying with my threads.”
“What’s the problem? More strange bindings, more fun!”
At once, I recalled Lady Rozemyne’s warning that the gods existed in a world entirely separate from our own. She had no doubt witnessed their immense power and unreasonable behavior when receiving the Grutrissheit from Mestionora the Goddess of Wisdom.
I cannot be more thankful that Liebeskhilfe’s divine power did not alter the past.
“Um, has Lady Rozemyne not yet returned...?” I asked, my voice quivering as I tried to change the subject. Dregarnuhr was becoming more and more agitated from her conversation with the Goddess of Binding.
In truth, the answer was obvious; my return to the present had come about as a result of my own actions, not Lady Rozemyne’s completion of her work, and Wentuchte the Goddess of Weaving refused to look away from her loom. Still, my endeavor proved successful—Dregarnuhr sighed, letting her anger fade, and directed her gaze toward Wentuchte’s hands.
“As the thread in question was cut in several places, her work will take quite some time. However, I can confirm that she has safely repaired one section.”
Hearing about Lady Rozemyne’s progress put my mind at ease. Everything seemed to be going well, which was more than I could say for my trip to the past.
“You are here in mind alone, Hannelore,” Dregarnuhr reminded me. “Do not wait for Rozemyne. Return to your body—it will not last without you.”
I nodded. As I did not understand the ways of the gods or their culture, any number of problems could arise from my staying here. In response, the goddess raised a hand to return me to my world.
“O holy Dregarnuhr, I thank you ever so much for allowing me to keep my memories.”
“And thank you for granting me the use of your body. I shall respect the history that Wentuchte has woven with Lady Rozemyne’s and your aid,” the goddess said with a smile. “Please rest easy.”
As my vision faded to white, I found solace in knowing that the past two decades would not be lost. I could rest assured, I thought—but then, the Goddess of Binding forced her way back into view.
“I didn’t get the chance to thank you for all your prayers! This time, I’ve made it so you can pick whoever you want!”
Um, wait... Hold on.
Her tone was kind, but something about her declaration made me uneasy. What could possibly happen next?
“Continue to send me your gratitude!” Liebeskhilfe exclaimed, her bright voice getting quieter and quieter. “I’ll be waiting!”
Given all that she had done, the thought of praying to her again scared me. But equally terrifying was the idea of refusing a straightforward request from a genuine goddess. I was lost for what to do—and in either scenario, my future felt unbearably bleak.