Being from the future, I was aware that Kenntrips had made the list of applicants both this year and last. As a fourth-year, however, I should not have known. I remembered asking Luitpold to fetch it for me, his confession that he had yet to even prepare it, and Kenntrips admonishing both of us—Luitpold for lacking the drive of an archducal retainer, and me for not giving my apprentice scholar adequate instructions.
How was I meant to keep track of that?!
“Y-Yes, indeed... I consulted my brother,” I stammered. “Thank you. I thank you ever so much.”
I gave Kenntrips my best smile and accepted the list from him, worried that I was already drawing unwanted attention to myself. As expected, the names were exactly as I remembered them.
“Luitpold, transcribe this and give copies to both Klassenberg and Ehrenfest,” I said.
“Understood.”
I glanced at Kenntrips, doing my best to keep my nerves from showing. He seemed a little perturbed but quietly went on his way—perhaps a sign that my attempt to hide the truth had been successful.
Back in my room, I let out a sigh of relief. It had terrified me to think I might be caught so soon, but now I understood exactly how far back the gods had sent me. Just a few days prior, the archnobles and archduke candidates had taken part in their Dedication Ritual.
“Cordula, Father instructed that I stay ahead of Klassenberg with these Dedication Rituals, did he not?” I asked. “I wish to hold a tea party with Ehrenfest before they do.”
“I would wait for Lady Rozemyne to recover. As she is currently unwell, we have no need to approach Ehrenfest outside of the rituals themselves.”
“She need not attend,” I pressed on. My head attendant had shot me down, her eyes cold, but I would not give up without a fight; I needed time to speak with Lord Wilfried. “Father insisted that this is a matter of the utmost importance, so let us learn from the other Ehrenfest students instead.”
“Lady Rozemyne received an invitation to the Archduke Conference just as you did, confirming her significance in the eyes of the royal family. You will find her a most important ally, especially in these trying times.”
Cordula was greatly appreciative of Lady Rozemyne. By putting my name forward, my dear friend had given me the opportunity to assist the royal family during the Archduke Conference. Their praise had done wonders for my image among Dunkelfelger’s higher echelons, if not among my brother’s retinue and the apprentice knights.
“Indeed, Lady Hannelore—you have much to gain from your relationship with Lady Rozemyne,” Andrea interjected. “Lord Wilfried spurned you despite agreeing to the terms of bride-stealing ditter. He is to blame for the damage done to your reputation and the harsh treatment you are forced to endure.”
Heilliese nodded in agreement as she and Andrea finished preparing for their classes. “I cannot believe he speaks to you as if nothing happened. I suspect even Verbergen would show more discernment, were Entrinduge to castigate him so.”
Verbergen the God of Concealment had an unsavory habit of pursuing multiple women, each unaware of the others. It had earned him a harsh rebuke from Entrinduge, but not even that had put a stop to his womanizing. The incident had come to be regarded as an allegory for shamelessness.
“To be perfectly clear, that boy does not deserve you, milady. I ask that you avoid him at all costs, lest any more unnecessary rumors start to spread.”
“Cordula...”
I knew that participating in true ditter eased tensions between our duchies, but I had forgotten just how bad things were.
My retainers’ fury toward Lord Wilfried was intense, to say the least. They were angry because they cared about me, but still...
How am I to navigate this?
Asking them to help me confess was out of the question; they would inquire as to why I gave up on the engagement during the Interduchy Tournament. Had the gods sent me back further, I would have fought to keep that deal on the table, but only because of the changes that had come about in the seasons since. Had I not heard about the chance of my half-sister Lungtase marrying into Ehrenfest, I might never have acknowledged my feelings for Lord Wilfried.
On that note, something occurred to me: would it not have made more sense to ask to be sent back two years, to before the Interduchy Tournament and our bride-stealing ditter match? I thought for a moment, then shook my head. At the time, Lord Wilfried was still engaged to Lady Rozemyne, and he demonstrated admirable strength of character by continuing to play that role until the royal family formally announced their separation. He would doubtless have rejected me—not that I was fool enough to propose to an engaged man.
“It is time for class, milady.”
Oh, what can I do to have a private conversation with Lord Wilfried...?
Upon descending the dormitory’s stairs and making my way to the exit, I saw the students gathered in preparation to leave. I scanned the crowd for someone to speak to and locked eyes with Kenntrips, but he looked away before I could even start to approach him. It made no sense to take it personally—he had yet to become my suitor, and treating him as one would have been entirely inappropriate—yet I could not ignore the sudden ache in my chest.
Perhaps I was relying on him even more than I realized.
Kenntrips had been my one and only ally in my mission to confess to Lord Wilfried; losing his support meant I would need to forge ahead alone. Yes, I was surrounded by retainers, but nothing about their intense atmosphere put me at ease. Only then did it occur to me how accustomed I had become to having Kenntrips and Rasantark escort me to class.
Do I have what it takes to manage without Kenntrips’s help?
I would need to make contact with Lord Wilfried and convey my feelings on my own. Given that Cordula and the others were vehemently against me associating with anyone from Ehrenfest other than Lady Rozemyne, I would surely need to mimic Lord Ortwin and approach my target during class.
Now, what was the excuse given for Lady Rozemyne’s absence? As I recall, she was unwell for so long that she had to return to her home duchy halfway through the academic term.
In truth, she had been swept away by the gods themselves—not that I would ever have suspected as much. I recalled Cordula and the others permitting me to hold tea parties with Lady Charlotte after Ehrenfest made their announcement, but I could not risk waiting that long. I was still entirely unsure how long it would take Lady Rozemyne to attend to the severed thread.