It was not rare to be given a list of suitors. If the rumors that Lord Wilfried did not wish to become an archduke were true, then Kenntrips was almost certainly correct.
“This socializing season, everyone will strive to choose their partners,” he said. “Dunkelfelger did not petition Ehrenfest during the previous Archduke Conference, and the fact that Lord Wilfried did not respond to Lord Ortwin’s proposition means we can assume you are not among his candidates.”
I already know that much...
Kenntrips was merely stating the truth, but his words cut me deeper than the sharpest spear. I wanted to cover my ears and abandon the interrogation entirely.
“Neither time nor society will wait for you,” he said. “As things stand, Lord Wilfried will already have chosen his partner by the time you resolve to confess to him. What would you do then?”
I cast my eyes down. Perhaps because he had spent so long engaged to Lady Rozemyne, it had never crossed my mind that he might get engaged to another.
And if he does...?
Conveying my feelings to him when he already had a partner would come across as me bludgeoning him with my duchy’s rank and spark all manner of rumors. Under no circumstances could I allow the authority I wielded as a member of the top-ranked duchy to disturb anyone’s peace. An engagement Lord Wilfried had decided on would, by nature, have his approval.
“I simply cannot imagine confessing to him,” I said.
“As I expected,” Kenntrips replied with a nod. “I do not mean to be blunt, but your usual poor timing is not to blame here. You have simply been slow to steel your resolve and speak from the heart. Of course, I expect you to blame your poor timing nonetheless.”
Ngh.
“You will probably bemoan the outcome, agonizing over the mistakes you made and what you could have done to bond with Lord Wilfried. By the time you recover, socializing season will already be drawing to a close, and you will have run out of time to speak with Lord Ortwin.”
Nghhh...
“Out of alternatives,” Kenntrips went on, “you will need to select one of your chosen suitors. You will pick Rasantark, of course, as doing so gives you more time to prepare emotionally.”
“Do not speak as though this is fated to happen!” I exclaimed, my eyes brimming with tears. It was the most I could do to resist; things were bound to play out exactly as he expected.
Kenntrips gazed down at me with all the resignation of a parent scolding their misbehaving child. “You must put your concerns about Lord Wilfried and Ehrenfest aside. If you wish to move there, then you should focus first and foremost on confessing to Lord Wilfried before socializing season begins. Unless you take matters into your own hands, he will not even consider you an option.”
Hearing such a frank declaration struck me speechless. It hurt to have the emotions I had purposefully kept hidden so callously stepped on, but I could tell that Kenntrips was speaking out of genuine concern for me.
“Would you really be able to accept such a future knowing that you made no attempt to prevent it?” he asked. “You are slow to make choices no matter the situation, and you might appear easily swayed, but you stubbornly dig in your heels when it comes to your final decision. Am I wrong?”
“You understand me too well...” I grumbled through pursed lips.
Kenntrips gave a wry smile. “I have seen you in many situations across the years, Lady Hannelore. That is also how I am aware of the resentment you feel toward Rasantark and me, for you no longer know how to interact with us.” He seemed amused to have read me so well, but that meant my emotions must have shown on my face.
“Resentment...? My feelings are not that strong.”
Not right now, in any case.
“Oh? Is that so?” Kenntrips asked, cocking an eyebrow in amusement. “I seem to recall a rather powerful grimace when Father introduced us as your suitors.”
“I was merely surprised by the implication that I would be staying in Dunkelfelger, despite my intention to marry elsewhere.”
In any case, my reaction could not have been that obvious. Neither my mother nor Cordula saw reason to chastise me.
“To others, it might have come across as general concern, but it was the same expression you made whenever Lord Lestilaut did something to spite you.”
Without thinking, I rested my hands on my cheeks. I really had been disappointed and upset, but I had not expected anyone to notice. I gazed up at Kenntrips, uncomfortable, and watched as a long sigh escaped him.
“So I was fully correct, then?” he asked.
And now he is sure of his assumption. This was not my intention!
Kenntrips gave a resigned smile, as if attempting to ease the panic swelling in my chest. “Do calm down,” he said. “I was already well aware. That is why I continue to remind you—unless you take action soon, you will end up Starbound to Rasantark or me. That is not what you desire, is it?”
He took my hand and returned the sound-blocker to me. I clung to him in turn, not ready for our conversation to end, and met his look of confusion with a stern glare.
“My reaction did not come from any negative emotions about you or Rasantark. I considered it miserable to remain in a duchy so obsessed with ditter, and the realization that I was soon to be Starbound made me uncomfortable, to say the least.”
Kenntrips inhaled, at a loss for words. Finally feeling some small sense of victory, I took the sound-blocker from him and turned to leave.
“Cordula, my interrogation is over,” I announced. “Let us go.”