It had appeared briefly in a novel that had caused a stir. It was a novel about a love affair, and it had been published some time ago. One of the girlfriends of a gang member had been carrying it with her. All of the guys who [m3]were literate had read it. Only the sex scenes, though - the rest they had skipped over.
The part about cutting the penis had come in at the end. Kuji had laughed it off, saying it was stupid and sounded painful. Now, looking back, he felt like he understood how the girl in the novel felt.
Without a penis, Song wouldn't be able to have sex with anyone anymore.
But Song would probably never sleep with anyone. Yes, even Buddhist monks took wives, and it was hard to believe that Catholic priests would remain celibate for their whole life. But if Kuji could say one thing about Song with certainty, it was this: Song would never sleep with anyone. That was the kind of man he was.
But he was still a man, which meant that he would still get an erection by nature - by looking at women. Unless he was impotent. Song looking at women and getting erect - just the thought of it made the blood rise to his head. No way. I won't have any of it.
Kuji imagined Song getting erect underneath his robes. What would his penis look like? It probably wasn't much different from the many he had let inside him. Would it be a thick, rugged one to match his muscular physique?
He would draw Song's rearing penis inside his mouth, deep into his throat until his lips were around its base. And he would bite down and tear it off. That way, it would be his forever.
Kuji abruptly realized that he had been fondling his crotch absentmindedly, and hastily half-rose from the bed.
He wasn't in the mood right now. Pleasuring himself in this mood would only make him feel pitiful. More than pitiful - absurd, even. Masturbating while wishing the man that he loved was impotent.
Kuji reached underneath his bed and pulled out a bottle of vodka he had hidden there. He put his lips directly to the bottle and took a long swig. The hot liquid filled his belly. The heat in his groin subsided.
Before he knew it, he had emptied the bottle. The floor seemed to ripple, and Kuji fell face-forward on the bed. He buried his face in his pillow and inhaled his own alcoholic breath.
This is bad.
Kuji lifted his head, thinking he needed to get some of the alcohol out of his system. There was still time until that couple would come to the church, but he decided to stand up right away. He used the wall to guide him along as he carefully descended to the first floor. He planned to take a cold shower in hopes that it would help.
Kuji's eyes were half-closed as he stuck his arms out in front of him, feeling his way to open the door to the bathroom.
What greeted his eyes was Song, standing there naked. The man had just finished taking a shower, and his hair and body were dripping with water. Water droplets slid down his broad, muscular back. To Kuji's surprise, there were several band-like scars across it. They looked similar to what he had seen on a certain young gang leader in the detention center. But more than that, Kuji found his eyes glued on the man's toned and firm-looking butt.
"Masatake, you can come in. I'll be out in a second." Song spoke to him in the same tone as always. He turned so that he was facing Kuji directly. His toned body came into clear view. There was a line of dark hair growing from his belly button to his nether regions. From his groin reared the symbol of his manhood, pointed toward the heavens.
Kuji staggered into the bathroom.
"I guess you're not impotent, after all," he muttered, reaching out toward the man's penis. But just then, he tripped.
"Masatake!"
When Kuji came to, he was sitting on top of Song's belly on the floor. The man's hard member was pushed against his waist. As Kuji shifted his weight from the man's belly to on top of his thighs, he reached for Song's crotch.
"It's not fair. Why aren't you impotent?"
The man's penis was erect to the point of almost sticking to his belly.
"Look at you, getting it up like this. Were you thinking naughty thoughts while you were in the shower, huh? Do you always?"
Song looked up at Kuji and gave a wry smile.
"Maybe I ate too much meat. It was rubbed with garlic, too. I was trying to get the smell out, but..."
Damnit, damnit, growled Kuji as he pumped Song's penis with both hands. The stiff member grew even harder and began to throb.
"Masatake, that's enough," Song said gently. "Don't make this difficult for me by going further than that."
"Difficult? How? I'm not asking you to fuck me. Well, I'd want to, but you don't sleep with men or women, do you? Letting me do this is the least you can do."
"That's not what I mean."
"Then I wish you'd just become impotent! You're cruel, you know that?"
Kuji's face was a mess of tears and snot as he continued to stimulate Song's hardened penis. He brought his face close to its glistening tip. When he opened his mouth to let it in, Song sat up. The man's muscular arms circled around him.
"Masatake, you're a good boy. Now, stop."
"No," Kuji shot back. "I want you! Let me touch you!" Kuji twisted his body and tried to pry the man's arms off of him to no avail. His head was pressed against Song's dripping, broad chest. He could feel the man's rapid heartbeat. Song's warm hands rubbed his back. Kuji broke into loud sobs.
"It's okay. You can cry, Masatake. There's no need for you to hold back." The man's low whisper was soothing to the ear.
Eventually, the storm of tumultuous emotions brewing inside him settled into a peaceful calm. His eyelids drooped. Kuji closed his eyes. A warm darkness came over him.
He felt himself float as his body was lifted. When he fidgeted, a comforting hand rubbed his back again.
"Masatake, you can stay asleep. I'll carry you to your room," said the gentle voice. His body swayed gently as if he were being rocked in a cradle.
Kuji returned to the same house - the one in which he had spent his boyhood.
✦ ✦ ✦
　Outpost village*　　An outpost village, or hakenmura, is a makeshift shelter for the homeless set up temporarily from the end of the year to the beginning of the following year.
　Sou**　 　"Sou" is the Japanese pronunciation for the Chinese character of Song's name.