Kent woke in the early morning hours in Orihara’s bed. As they lazily reclined on the sofa, weary from their act, the night waned. Orihara had begun to say that he felt cold. Kento remembered moving to the bedroom on the second floor and crawling into bed together.
“Doctor?” He called the man as he pushed himself up, but there was no one in the bedroom. He looked around and saw that he was in a Western-style room about thirty square metres in area. Apart from the bed by the window, there was a wooden bookshelf and desk, and a wardrobe. Both the desk with its stack of medical books and the bookshelf were worn. Kento imagined that they must be artifacts from when Orihara was living here during high school.
I see. So Doctor used to study in this room.
Kento tried waiting a few moments, but there was no sign of Orihara.
“Doctor?” he called again. He heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs, followed by Orihara, who appeared wearing a bathrobe. He passed Kento’s clothes to him.
“I’ve let you stay overnight without permission from your dorm. But the snow has let up now. You can go home by yourself, right?”
“But…”
Orihara remained turned away even as Kento quickly put his clothes on.
“Doctor.” Kento touched Orihara’s robed shoulder.
“Let’s talk about this later,” Orihara said, still looking down. “You have to go to school. You can’t be absent from class.”
I want to be with you here like this forever, Kento wanted to say, but managed to swallow the words on the tip of his tongue. Even he could tell from Orihara’s demeanour that saying so would only add to his troubles.
Is he angry about yesterday? Maybe he was just being bashful. I hope that’s what it is.
It was definitely true that he was in love with Orihara. Kento had always imagined that two people, after a night of making love, would spend the next morning savouring their happiness. Of course, he had only seen it happen in TV shows and movies.
But here was Orihara’s back to him, sending a clear signal of rejection, which made Kento feel confused. Did that mean that Orihara did not love him back? Or maybe he’s disappointed in me. No; that couldn’t be true. Orihara had come so many times. He must only be embarrassed. He was moaning so much, after all.
“Alright,” Kento agreed. Orihara finally turned to face him. For a while, he looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he sighed and moved towards the wardrobe. He took out a thick coat and draped it over Kento’s shoulders.
“It’s cold outside. Be careful.”
“Doctor….”
Kento knew for sure now that Orihara hadn’t come to hate him from what happened yesterday.
“See you later, then,” he said brightly, leaving the bedroom. Orihara did not see him to the door.
✦ ✦ ✦
Kento impatiently waited for classes to end, but when class let out, he and the rest of the students in the dormitory were made to do some volunteer work shoveling the snow that had piled ten centimetres high last night.
They received grateful comments from female-only households and seniors living alone, but Kento was halfhearted at best in his replies as he continued to shovel doggedly.
When the work was finally over, he headed towards Miyashita Clinic, with the coat he had borrowed this morning in hand.
“Doctor!” he called loudly at Orihara, who was still in the consultation room. Orihara was filling in a patient’s record at his desk, but smiled at him through his glasses.
“The snow sure piled up last night, didn’t it? You must have been cold. I made some coffee, so have it inside.”
They were the same kind words as usual, but to Kento they seemed all the more unnatural. He went up to Orihara and looked down at him.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked.
Orihara blushed furiously and sprung up, peering at Nurse Nakagawa sitting in reception. He took Kento’s hand and hurried to the living room. There, he sighed, sat Kento down on the sofa, and sat across from him on the armchair.
“Kento, I’m sorry. I want you to forget what happened last night,” he said, bowing his head in apology.
“What do you mean? We had sex yesterday. Are you telling me to forget about it?”
Orihara furrowed his brow and looked up with concern at Kento.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I regret it, actually, doing something so immature ? doing something like that with someone who’s too young to even know what it means. I’ve committed a crime.”
His voice was soft, but Kento had never expected to be rejected outright like this. He swallowed his words and glared at Orihara.
“What I did was immoral. I’m really sorry.”
The blood rose to Kento’s head as he cut Orihara off. “I’m not a kid!” he blurted. “I know what we did ? I know what it means. It’s not immoral. I had sex with you because I love you! Isn’t it the same for you?”
Orihara let out a great sigh. “I’m saying that’s what’s immature about you. You’re only sixteen. What you feel towards me isn’t love. It’s what you feel towards an older brother.”
“No!” Kento yelled, cutting him off again. “I know how I feel without you telling me. I want to hear how you feel about me. How do you feel? Didn’t you have sex with me because you liked me?”
Orihara faced him directly, his expression earnest. “Kento, I love you, but it’s like how I would feel towards a little brother. I’m not in love with you. But I let things get carried away. I let it develop into this. I’ll never do it again. I’m sorry. Please forget about it.”
Kento was so caught with disbelief that he had no time to think of a protest. As he sat stunned, Orihara smiled at him.
“Kento, feel free to visit again just like you’ve always done.”
Kento almost wished Orihara had refused to see him anymore and told him never to visit again. Now he knew. Orihara really thought of him as a child, and thought of their sex as nothing but a mistake.
Kento bit his lip. If he put up a fuss now, he would leave an even stronger impression on Orihara that he was a child. In that case, he had better ideas. He vowed he would someday make Orihara acknowledge him as an adult. Until then, he would put on an act.
Kento lifted his face resolutely and smiled back at him.
“I will. I hope you’ll teach me guitar again.”
✦ ✦ ✦
That night, Kento returned to his room thoroughly depressed, only to find another call was waiting from overseas. It was from his mother in London.
“When does your spring break start?” she asked. “You’re coming down here, aren’t you?”
An idea came to Kento just as his words of refusal were about to leave his mouth.
“Um, I’m actually going to stay here for the spring break. I’ll visit during my exam break instead.” Entrance examinations for junior and senior high schools took place in the latter half of February, and students got a weeklong break. Most students who already attended Shonan for junior high usually got bumped up to senior high without a problem. Excluding those who had failed and had to take a re-test, Kento’s third-year junior high class also had a one-week holiday.
More than anything, Kento wanted to spend the three-week spring break from March to April with Orihara. He wanted to spend time with the man and make him see that he was an adult. Spring break was the perfect opportunity.
“I’ll only be able to visit for a week, but is that okay? I have a lot of things to do to prepare for high school, so I want to stay back for spring break.”
His mother again took his words at face value. “I guess you’re right,” she said. “You’re already going into senior high. I guess I’m in no place to refuse that.”
After confirming the dates of his exam break, she said, “I’ll mail you the airplane tickets,” and hung up the phone. Kento flopped down on his bed and thought. I know. I’ll buy lots of souvenirs to please him. London is a sacred land for Beatles fans. I’ll be able to share more common interests with Orihara.
The next day, Kento told Orihara he was going to London in two weeks.
“My mom keeps nagging me to go. I’ll only be gone for a week, but when spring break rolls around, I’ll come to visit you. Wait for me.”
“The week after next?” Orihara gazed at the calendar on the wall. He was silent for a while, but eventually nodded.
“What do you want me to bring back? Beatles merchandise? Oh, I know, I’ll take a photo on the crossing.”
“Abbey Road,” Orihara smiled. “I can’t wait.”