STERILE white walls and a pristine white ceiling. A cold space filled only with a bare bed and simple desk. The room existed for the sole purpose of resting the body forced to take part in experiments from first light until the wee hours of the night.
Today too, I simply live without lamenting the endless days spent together with excruciating pain. Lamentation is a feeling that occurs when you know of something better. I have never experienced anything else. What is there for me to regret? My lifestyle hasn’t changed since the day I was born. All I have ever been given is daily nourishment and the clothes on my back.
The day of my disposal was decided recently. Apparently, it will be the day I turn seventeen. I overheard the researchers whispering about it in a corner. I have to wonder though—what reason do they have to hide it? It’s not like I am going to resist. Death is peace for me.
If I were asked whether I’m scared to die or not, I can say I’m exhilarated by the prospects of going somewhere I’ve never been before, but the feeling known as fear is foreign to me.
After all, my mind will be devoured on my twentieth birthday, turning me into a monster. I’ll be disposed of then anyway. Things are merely happening three years earlier than planned.
Now that I think about it, when do I turn seventeen? I don’t know the day I was born. Well, not like it matters, I thought and snatched one of the books off the tall stack on the desk.
Reading was the only recreational activity allowed in that sterile space. I was grateful they would retrieve any book I requested. I didn’t know what types of books existed in the first place, so all I could do was vaguely request things like, “a book with a story” or “a book that teaches the reader how to calculate”.
I would read during the hours leading up to the next experiment or for the entire day when they didn’t need me. No one ever taught me how to read, write, or do math, so I taught myself everything from the knowledge held within the pages of books. Apparently, people the same age as me, were they raised normally, attend something called a school. Wanting to know what school was like, I requested textbooks. Taking on the difficult new information was fun, like solving a puzzle. It didn’t take long to understand everything contained within textbooks meant for high school seniors.
My life changed when a researcher known as Hiragi became my caretaker. Unlike all the other researchers who treated me like an infectious blight, he was a strange man who interacted with me like a parent and a friend.
He was the one who gave me a name.
“Tsukiharu? That is the noun I am to be distinguished by?”
“It’s a name. I went with a name that means, ‘the moon that illuminates a dark night’. You are welcome to use my last name should you ever need one. Isn’t it insipid to go by Three all the time?”
They called me Three at the laboratory. I assumed they meant it as Number Three, but I never met a One or a Two. They might have been disposed of already. Just like I am to be disposed of soon.
“I don’t need it. I’m going to die soon anyway. Besides, you’re the only one who talks to me and I’m the only one here—you can get my attention with just hey or you,” I said with casual disinterest. I still remember the sad look on his face as he placed his large hand on my head and ruffled my hair.
He truly was an odd person. It would be one thing if he only talked to me like I was a normal person, but he went as far as teaching me common sense. He even told me all sorts of things about what they were researching and what the Blue Coven was. From him, I learned for the first time that I am a vampire. They drilled into my head that I have the Ancient’s body, but I had no idea what this Ancient was, nor did I try to comprehend it. They also informed me about the fact I would go insane and turn into a monster around my twentieth birthday, but I always thought that was because of their experiments.
Hiragi was the one who told me the most important information of all.
“What? I have another half?”
“You do. You were born with the Ancient’s body, while she was born with the Ancient’s blood. We don’t know where she is right now, but I’m certain you will meet her someday.”
“…Hey, Mister, will that person become my family?” I asked the question that curiously came to mind right away.
I never thought I wanted a family before. For me, family was something akin to the characters that appear in a novel—nothing more than a fictional existence. But if I did have another half, someone who grew up in the same environment as me, they might become my family. Even if we aren’t blood related, we could develop a relationship where we care about each other…
He must have caught onto my thoughts, because Hiragi’s expression softened and his voice took on a gentle tone, “Who knows? You won’t know until you meet her. But I’m sure you will be able to meet her someday. I’m certain you are destined to. So why don’t we look forward to that day?”
I clenched at my chest, as a feeling similar to being struck by lightning hit me.
He probably told me about her to encourage me not to give up on life—he actually succeeded too.
It was then I thought I didn’t want to die for the first time in my life. I wouldn’t die until I met her.
The day of my disposal came immediately after. It seems like Hiragi desperately tried to stop them, but it was all in vain as they brought me to the gas chamber.
But it was too late—I was no longer the same boy content with being offed by them. After all, I swore to myself I wouldn’t die until I met her. She was the first connection to this world I ever had in my eternal solitude. I entrusted myself to the power overflowing from within, and destroyed the laboratory to escape with little effort.
“Thanks, Mister,” I said with a faint smile when I spotted him among the researchers looking up at me flying in the sky. I decided to take his last name.
I nimbly flapped the wings on my back and took in the world outside the laboratory for the first time. I had never seen the stars and moon with the naked eye until then. And then I met him.
A silver-haired man stood within the veil of darkness. He waited for me with a smirk.
“I had planned on going to retrieve you, but I fear I must apologize for not making it in time. I shall be your servant from this day forth.” He ignored my silence at his sudden proclamation and continued, “If you will do me the honor of allowing me to serve at your feet, I shall bestow what you most desire upon you.”
“And what is that?”
“Do you know about your other half?”
I gasped. He held his hand out to me.
“Please refer to me as Shiro. Let us be on our way. I have prepared a hidden house for us.”
Some time later, I found her—my other half.