The employee said that he’d tried making another room at home into a library in an attempt to stop leaving books laying around his bedroom, but he ended up having too many to fit inside. When all was said and done, they’d apparently filled up his entire home.
“Wow! You must really love books,” marveled Satoko. It must have been people like him who’d want to have their own little bookstore.
“Oh no, no, not at all. There are tons of people who love books way more than I do. I’m sure that all of the other shelf owners read a lot more than me and are way more familiar with them.”
If having so many books that your home can’t fit them all and becoming a shelf owner because you want other people to know about the books you like doesn’t make you a booklover, then what does?
“I’m job hunting right now, but I had no idea how to answer when they asked about my hobbies at an interview. Other than reading, I don’t really have any, but I just couldn’t make myself say it. I don’t do anything past thinking what I’m reading is interesting, so I’m pretty sure I’m not getting super deep into books like other people,” the employee continued.
“Isn’t it fine for you to say you like something without worrying about everyone else? If everyone compared how much they like something with everyone else all of the time, then only a handful of people in the world would ever be able to say they liked books.”
The employee was flummoxed, murmuring that the world was a big scale.
Satoko lifted the photobook she’d just bought in front of her face. “If that were the case, then I wouldn’t be able to say I liked this book I only found today. Even though I thought it was fate that brought it to me!”
“Oh yeah, you’re right there,” he said, his tense expression softening. “This is actually my first time selling books that I liked. That’s why I was happy to see you pick it up right in front of me. Uh, I know I mentioned that it was published on the same day I was born, but it’s also a book I bought while I was worrying about a lot of stuff. I looked at the picture of the sky and thought it was nice… I mean, I know you don’t need a book to see the sky, since you could see it anywhere, but… Well, it’s just like how sometimes you know you could go somewhere anytime, but then end up never going at all. Like, just because something’s there all the time, you never give it a proper look. I just wanted someone else to look at the sky the same way. I’m pretty sure there were other reasons. I bought it in my first year of high school, after all.” He put a hand to his chin and tilted his head in thought.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to buy it when it’s so important to you?” Satoko asked. She had no idea when the last time she bought a book for herself was. She was sure he’d be shocked to hear that the apartment she was currently living in didn’t have even a single bookshelf in it.
“It’s fine, it’s fine! I’ve already realized that the sky’s always there if I just look up,” the employee said with a smile. “That photobook is actually part of a series, you know. I’ll bring the next volume sometime, so you should pop in the next time you’re in the neighborhood!”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
A pair of Western-looking foreigners, probably in their early twenties, stopped on the other side of the window. Taking a peek inside must have piqued their interests, because they ended up coming in.
When they spoke to the employee, he started explaining the concept of shared bookstores to them in fluent English. Satoko found it a bit unexpected, but the photobook she’d just bought was of foreign scenery. There were university students who used their long breaks to travel, enjoying visiting lots of foreign countries.
I bet he wouldn’t claim travel as a hobby either, Satoko thought to herself with a giggle as she imagined the employee at another job interview. She decided she’d try asking him about it if they ever had another chance to chat.
After finishing her coffee, she stood up from her seat. She turned her head as she readied herself to leave, eyes meeting the employee’s as they smiled and bowed their heads to each other. Chiyo followed her to the door, as if she was seeing her off in his stead.
“I wonder if you’ll let me pet you?” Satoko wondered. She crouched down, and when she brought the back of her hand down under the cat’s chin, trying not to scare her, Chiyo rubbed up against her. The unexpected feeling of her warmth brought a smile to Satoko’s face. “I’ll see you again sometime, Chiyo-san.”
Pushing the glass door open, she left the bookstore.
“Ahh, the weather really is nice.”
While the wind was cooling as November approached, it just made the sunlight feel even more pleasant.
Satoko’s eyes fell on the trees of the Shinjuku Gyoen Park directly across the street from her. She’d only ever visited the park once a few years earlier, thinking that she could go anytime she liked since it was so close. Why not go today?
After buying herself a ticket, she entered the park through the Ookido Gate and spread the guide map she’d picked up at Frère open in front of her. According to it, the autumn leaves were worth seeing. Her last visit to the park had been when autumn was changing over to winter as well. She remembered that she’d gone to see the avenue lined with plane trees.
Satoko started walking, following the route shown on the map. The traditional Japanese gardens surrounded by forests came into view. Tamamo Pond still showed traces of the Edo period. Stopping on the bridge to the island in the center, she watched the waterfowl preen their feathers in the shadows of the maple trees.
“I think these guys were here last time too. Maybe they’ve actually been here ever since the Edo period?”
She’d been convinced that Shinjuku was a city where new things gathered, and the buildings, people, and the way they lived was always changing. But right here was a pond that had existed for hundreds of years already, and living beings that were probably continuing the same way of life as the generations before them. She could barely believe it.
At the other side of the bridge, she saw an open field of grass. Despite it being a weekday, there were people lounging on sheets spread on the ground. Satoko spread her handkerchief out on the grass and sat down. She stared at the high-rises of the Shinjuku Subcenter on the other side of the forest as her hair fluttered in the wind. Listening carefully to the rustling of the trees, she tried just looking up at the sky.
Her first visit to the park had been right after her job interview for Salon Blan. She’d been over the moon when they hired her on the spot. It had felt like it’d be a waste to just go home and end the day like usual afterward, so she came here.
Back then, she’d been thrilled that she’d be working somewhere where she could wear outfits she liked and make people smile. Now, though, she couldn’t only deal with her clients one-on-one. She also had the responsibility of bringing in profits, had to be considerate of her client’s work schedules, and so on. The list of things she had to handle had slowly grown, and maybe, just like the buildings blocked the view of the sky, the things that she’d considered to be obvious were getting blocked from her sight as well.
“That employee said he’d bought the photobook at a time when he was worrying over a lot of things,” Satoko mused.
He’d mentioned it was back in high school. Were his worries about family? Or maybe romance? What had he been seeking from the photobook in a time with so many worries?
The sky’s always there if you just look up, huh… The fact that the land and sky continued into each other was something you might forget, living in a city with buildings looming over you. Could opening the photobook remind her of that, next time the busy days overwhelmed her?
Satoko opened the photobook, which had already become a protective charm for her heart, on her lap. When she finished reading through it once more, she flopped back onto the grass and watched vapor trails dragging behind planes as if they were a breath. While she was surrounded by the wind, a line she barely remembered from the book swept through her dozing body. She stretched her arms right up toward the sky and slowly let out the breath she’d been holding in her lungs.
Sometimes, you needed to spread the buildings apart. Maybe it would be okay to live how she wanted to, a little bit more carefree. Now that she’d met this book, it felt like she’d finally returned to who she was meant to be.