SO AKIKO GRADUATED FROM JUNIOR high one year late, moved on to high school, and during that year her long-held wish came true: to enter the education department of a university. Ms Samejima got in touch with her, with the news that she was starting an NPO. She planned to rent a larger building than her little juku had been using, and to create an alternative Free School where children who couldn’t – or wouldn’t – attend regular public school could go.
The Free School was named Kokoro no kyoshitsu, Classroom for the Heart.
She invited Akiko to help out.
‘I’d be happy to,’ Akiko replied. She was overjoyed that Ms Samejima needed her, and since she planned to be a teacher herself, the experience she might gain there would certainly come in useful.
She first met Dr Kitajima in 1998, a couple of years after she began to assist at the school. Akiko was a junior in college by then.
Dr Kitajima was a caseworker at a nearby general hospital, and he learned about the alternative School and got in touch. He was hoping to take the in-patient children at his hospital who were falling behind. He’d also be very grateful, he said, if some of the teachers could visit the hospital.
As Akiko found herself more drawn to his calm smile and his gentle manner, she had a premonition.
I might end up marrying him.
Kitajima – she repeated his last name to herself, and each time she did, the feeling inside her grew stronger.
✦ ✦ ✦
ONE DAY, AKIKO ENCOUNTERED A young girl at the hospital. Dr Kitajima had brought her into the courtyard outside.
She was a tiny girl with a lively personality. Akiko heard she was a first-year student in junior high, even though she seemed much younger. Her gaze, though, was very adult. The meds she was on had made her hair fall out, and she now wore a cap. She’d officially entered Yukishina No. 5 Junior High, though she had yet to attend a single day.
Her name was Mio Mizumori.
Akiko would never forget the encounter.
That year Akiko and Mio began classes once a week.
‘Akiko-sensei, I’m so looking forward to this.’
The girl was a bundle of eagerness. A well of curiosity.
Every time Mio’s large eyes gazed at her, Akiko sat bolt upright, goosebumps spreading across her. As long as this girl called her ‘Akiko-sensei’, she wanted to continue to spend time with her, and teach her. To be a teacher her young pupil could be proud of.
So there are children like this in the world, she thought.
Meeting Mio had a tremendous impact on her.
Mio wanted nothing more than to go to school, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t pessimistic or gloomy at all, but instead was eager to absorb and learn everything she could. More than a few times her iron will spurred Akiko on, made her feel she was the one being rescued.
The experience touched Akiko immensely.
She always thought she understood the feelings of children who couldn’t attend school, who couldn’t make it, didn’t fit in – the ones who stuck out. But she hadn’t. As she worked towards her goal of becoming a teacher, as she helped out at the alternative School, she’d been so sure of it, deep down. But she was wrong. Her own circumstances back in junior high, and the situations of each of the children she met now, were unique. Not a single one was the same.
When Akiko was a senior in college, Mio passed away.
A light spring rain was falling on the day of her funeral, and Akiko stood by her grave, blank and crying, and as she did, she looked at Mio’s little brother. Seeing him standing there, she could hardly breathe. Her heart fluttered as she recalled Mio’s voice, calling her Akiko-sensei. She understood how very precious her time with her had been.
What she wanted to become was, perhaps, a bit different from the usual public school teacher.
She wanted, as much as she could, to continue her connection with the alternative School. And to be the kind of person who could get close to all the children, to meet their own individual circumstances and needs.
She moved on from graduate school, got married, and changed her last name. As she worked with the alternative School a thought arose in her, before she even realized it.
Now it’s my turn.
Why she felt that way, she had no idea.
But from long ago she’d always had a scene etched in her heart. And a strong, sharp pain she felt in her arm.
The memory of someone yanking her, hard.
I was rescued.
There are children somewhere who, trembling, and at the risk of their own lives, pulled me by the arm and brought me back into this world.
It’s OK, Aki.
Grow up to be an adult.
I’m in the future, where you are too.
Children who said these words to me, kept me tethered to the world, gave me the chance to grow up.
Their faces weren’t clear, but somehow she always saw Mio’s image overlaid on them.
Why, she didn’t know. But this thought came to her, every time the stabbing pain in her arm returned.
Now I’d like to pull those children by the arm.
✦ ✦ ✦
KOKORO ANZAI WALKS SLOWLY TOWARDS the room. Lips pale, eyes darting around uneasily.
When Aki sees the girl, she knows instantly. The time has finally come. Why, she can’t say.
It feels as if she’s been waiting a lifetime for this moment.
The familiar sharp pain in her arm comes back, as if it is being yanked hard.
What sort of trauma has this girl been exposed to? What sort of struggles has she faced? Akiko has no idea. But still her heart swells at the thought.
‘So Kokoro, I understand you’re a student at Yukishina No. 5 Junior High School?’
‘Yes.’
‘I went there too,’ Aki says.
I’ve been waiting for you, a voice says inside Aki. It’s OK, grow up to be an adult.
✦ ✦ ✦
HANGING ON THE WALL OF the Free School, a small rectangular mirror reflects the young woman and the girl. A beam of sunlight catches its edge, and there is a tiny flash of rainbow colours. Hm? Aki thinks, and she has the feeling that in the mirror, sitting there, are she and the girl, as they used to be, back in junior high.
A cool spring breeze carrying the scent of green grass blows gently in, caressing the surface of the mirror, dissolving the rainbow-coloured light. The light slowly, softly envelops them both, Kokoro and Aki, as they sit there, face to face.