SHE FELT THE SCALDING HOT air of a hairdryer on the top of her head. In her vision, she could see … a bathroom. In the bathroom mirror Subaru was reflected, with his unmissable dyed hair.
Beside him was a bottle labelled ‘hydrogen peroxide’.
I’ll tell them my older brother made me do it, he thought.
Actually, his brother hadn’t been home in several days. And he thinks I’m a total loser, but even so I’ll tell them it’s because of him.
‘Suba-chan, how much longer are you going to be in the bathroom? It’s time to eat.’
‘Hurry up, Subaru. What kind of dumbo has a bath in the morning, eh?’
‘OK. I’m coming!’
He grimaced at his grandmother’s slow drawl, and his grandfather’s grumpy tone, and turned off the dryer.
The house was in need of renovation, and the sliding glass door rattled. He picked up a thin towel, a cheap freebie printed with the name of a construction company. There were a few stains on it.
‘Looks like blood,’ Subaru muttered.
As he emerged from the bathroom, his grandfather, in T-shirt and long johns, frowned at him.
‘What’s happened to your hair?’
He didn’t comment any further, probably because his older brother already had blond, spiky hair. Subaru’s brother had roared up in front of the house on a motorcycle which he said he’d borrowed from an older friend; their grandmother had yelled at him about the ugly roar it made, but what concerned Subaru was his suspicion that the motorcycle was stolen. His brother had some pretty expensive embroidery on his school uniform, and Subaru wondered where he’d got the money to do that.
‘You two don’t go to school, don’t work – you’re hopeless, just like your father.’
‘I’m sorry, Grandpa. Really.’
‘These days you’ve got to graduate from high school or you won’t amount to anything.’
‘Yes, yes, darling. It’s time for breakfast, so let Subaru have something to eat.’
They started the day early in Subaru’s grandparents’ house. Until the moment his grandfather went out to play go with his buddies or to work in the fields, Subaru had to endure all his sarcastic remarks. He’d vaguely laugh it off, silently eat the meal his grandmother made for him, and then, in the same room, open his school textbooks. And study until the time came when the castle opened, all the while enjoying listening to music on the player his dad had given him.
‘My marks are good and I do well in most subjects, so I don’t have to go to school,’ he lied to his grandmother, and she believed him. But his grandfather wouldn’t buy it.
‘You gotta go to school. It’s important,’ he insisted. He might say that, but his grandfather never actually communicated with his teachers about his situation. He confined himself to directing snide comments at Subaru.
For their part, the only contact the teachers made to urge the brothers back to school was through their father, who lived far away. Their parents had labelled both brothers as kids with issues, and had washed their hands of them. All they did was get angry, tell them they had their own lives to lead and that the brothers, too, should get a grip and take responsibility for their own lives. All of which led Subaru to one conclusion: no one really cared all that much what happened to him.
That makes things easier, he told himself, but it’s dull, too.
The Walkman he’d been using clicked off. The sixty-minute A-side of the tape had finished. Subaru put his pencil down on the table and flicked the tape over to its B-side. He usually preferred the radio, but it was harder to work to.
The thing his father had given him which he most appreciated was his name – Subaru, which meant the constellation of stars called the Pleiades.
Kokoro told him the association with the stars gave his name a fantastical feel, but most people told him it reminded them of the pop song sung by Tanimura. But that was fine, he thought, since the song itself was inspired by the constellation, also known as the Seven Sisters.
The second thing he liked that his father had given him was the Walkman. A new model had become available that year, but his father had given him the old model. Subaru had thought it was cool to listen to music while walking around the castle, but the others hadn’t really noticed.
Subaru much preferred thinking about these new ways of listening to music than about schoolwork. His father said he’d pay whatever fees were needed, so he thought he’d take whatever exams necessary to get into high school, as long as he could study something he actually enjoyed.
He wondered what everyone else was going to do.
He wanted to talk it over with them, but it felt against the rules to do so in the castle.
‘Well, I’m off to help out with the Ladies’ Group,’ his grandmother announced.
‘OK.’
After she left, the mirror started glowing.
The other kids all have mirrors in their own bedrooms, he thought, but I have a grandma’s mirror. He rested a palm on the old-fashioned mirror, draped with a purple cloth.
I’ll go to the castle.
Everyone will be there.
In Subaru’s world there was no Free School, no Ms Kitajima.
They all seem pretty happy, he thought, with their own bedrooms, their own parents at home.
They have people who really care about them.
Subaru didn’t feel angry or jealous, or like making fun of them. He simply made the observation. They don’t know how good they have it.
And here I am, not really caring what happens to me.
Today I’ll probably stop by the castle, but tomorrow I should hang out with my brother’s friends, he thought. He didn’t care one way or the other, but his brother had told him one of the guys wouldn’t give him back his manga, so he was going to knock him around a bit to show him he shouldn’t mess with him. So you come with me, his brother had said.
Whatever.
I mean, in ten years or so the world might end anyway.
The other day, he’d tried using a gift token Masamune had given him as a Christmas present to call his father, but the code didn’t work. He gazed at it. The card had drawings of manga characters on it which he didn’t recognize.
He was going to tell him about it, but he forgot.
I’ll tell him next time we meet.
Before the end of March, when we have to say goodbye.
At least that was the plan.