Kokoro: 7th grade Classroom 4
Ureshino: 7th grade Classroom 1
Fuka: 8th grade Classroom 3
Masamune: 8th grade Classroom 6
Subaru: 9th grade Classroom 3
Aki: 9th grade Classroom 5
THEY EXCHANGED ESSENTIAL INFORMATION about their classrooms, except for Rion, who of course lived abroad.
They promised if anything happened, they’d escape to the nurse’s office.
If the nurse’s office didn’t work out, then they’d go to the library.
If the library wasn’t looking good, then the music room.
And if none of those worked, they’d make a run for it.
Run out of the building, back home, and escape through the mirror to the castle.
They worked this all out in time for 10 January.
✦ ✦ ✦
THE DAY BEFORE THEY WERE due to meet was a holiday, Coming-of-Age Day, when twenty-year-olds across the country celebrated reaching adulthood.
Kokoro’s parents stayed at home that day, but Kokoro chose a moment when they wouldn’t come up to her room and slipped through the mirror into the castle. She wanted to confirm with Masamune and the others their promise to meet up at school. The others seemed to be doing the same, for most of them were also there, escaping their parents’ watchful eyes.
Just before saying their goodbyes, Kokoro caught up with Masamune. They were standing in the grand foyer, about to exit the castle through their mirrors.
It was almost five o’clock.
‘Tomorrow’s the day,’ she said to him.
At that moment, the Wolf Queen’s howl rang out like a siren, signalling the closing of the castle. They’d been hit by such powerful tremors recently when they were about to exit at five o’clock that it scared them, and so they usually made sure to leave before they heard the curfew howl, fifteen minutes before the hour.
‘Yeah,’ Masamune murmured, ignoring the howl. He seemed self-conscious and reluctant to engage.
His cheeks looked pale. Kokoro didn’t know the details of what had made him drop out of school. She knew his parents were pretty progressive, and respected their son’s decision not to go, but there had to be some reason behind it all.
Just like with her.
‘Masamune,’ she said, ‘there’s a girl in my class I don’t get on with at all.’
Don’t get on with was a convenient expression. It helped her avoid all the other possible nuances – I hate her, I can’t stand her, she bullied me. What happened to Kokoro wasn’t a fight, or bullying. It was neither, she thought, but something she couldn’t put a name to. When adults and friends put it down to bullying, it made her so irritated she wanted to cry.
‘I don’t want to go to school because I know she’ll be there, but if you and the others are with me, Masamune, then I’ll be fine.’
‘What?’ Masamune said, almost inaudibly, and looked at Kokoro. ‘What the hell? Are you trying to show me how heroic you are by saying you’ll go in with me, even with all that crap that happened to you? Are you trying to show me how hard it will be for you?’
‘Not at all.’
Kokoro was relieved to hear Masamune back to his usual cynical self. Not long ago that tone might have frustrated her, but now she knew she shouldn’t take him literally. All the time they’d spent together had taught her that.
She knew that Masamune was actually grateful to her for being willing to ignore past events and meet up with him. He’d just twisted it around to sound like the opposite.
‘What I’m saying is, despite what’s going on for me,’ she said, ‘I feel safe knowing all of us will be together. You’re not the only one who’s uneasy about it. You feel you’ll be safe knowing we’ll be there. Well, we feel the same, knowing you’ll be there.’
Masamune heard her out, and was reaching for the mirror when his fingers clenched and he grabbed hold of the frame.
‘Yeah,’ he murmured.
‘See you tomorrow,’ Kokoro said, emphasizing the words more than usual.
‘Yeah. See you tomorrow. At school.’
✦ ✦ ✦
‘MUM, I’M GOING TO GO to school tomorrow.’
Kokoro’s mother looked momentarily blank, as if time had stopped. But it was only an instant. ‘Oh, is that so?’ she said.
Kokoro knew she was deliberately showing a lack of concern. Kokoro had bided her time, avoiding saying anything until the day before she was due to go in. The evening of the ninth.
They were doing the washing up together when Kokoro gave her the news.
‘Are you sure you’re OK with that?’ Her mother avoided her eye. Kokoro followed suit, keeping her gaze on her hands as she dried the plates.
‘I’m fine with it. I’d actually like to try going in, even for one day.’
She planned to arrive after lessons had started at nine-thirty.
And go straight to the nurse’s office instead of her classroom.
And straight back home if she couldn’t manage it.
She explained the plan to her mother. ‘So don’t worry about me,’ she pleaded.
‘Do you want me to go with you?’
‘No, I’ll be fine,’ Kokoro said.
In all honesty, though, she would have loved for her to come.
Her heart was pounding. Just the image of the hallways and the front entrance was enough to make her freeze up.
But the rest of the group would no doubt come in alone, without a parent.
Masamune’s parents, so down on the state school system, would definitely not accompany him. And Subaru wasn’t even living with his parents.
Ureshino, Fuka and Aki might bring their mothers along, but if even one of them arrived on their own, Kokoro wanted to do the same.
Her mother said she’d contact the school – Mr Ida – to tell them in advance that Kokoro would be going in the next day.
‘This is so sudden. Why don’t you go a little later? Like next week.’
‘But it’s the opening ceremony.’
‘What?’ her mother said. She put down a wet plate, and wiped her hands on her apron. ‘The opening ceremony was the end of last week. On the sixth of January.’
‘What?’
Her mother brought out a piece of paper which had been lying in the small rack for letters in the living room: a note from school that Tojo-san had delivered. Kokoro usually just handed these to her mother without looking at them.
On the school events calendar, sure enough the opening ceremony was on January the sixth.
‘You’re right.’
As the opening ceremony had already happened at the end of last week, lessons would begin the next day. A three-day weekend, including the Coming-of-Age holiday, fell in between, but the first day of class was tomorrow.
Had Masamune misunderstood? She suddenly wanted to dash back into the castle to check, but that night, her mirror didn’t shine. She regretted not exchanging phone numbers.
Ah – but maybe that’s right, she thought.
Masamune had said he was going back to school at the start of the third semester. It was Fuka who’d asked, When is the opening ceremony at school? What day should we go?
Kokoro had naively concluded that Masamune was going to school on the day of the opening ceremony, but he’d never actually said that he would go to it. With students trooping to and from the gym, it could get chaotic. If they were going to meet in the nurse’s office, an ordinary school day would surely be preferable.
See you tomorrow. At school.
The promise Masamune and Kokoro had made to each other.
‘Thank you for worrying about me. But I’d still like to go,’ she said.
✦ ✦ ✦
THE NEXT MORNING, HER MOTHER set off for work as usual. Kokoro had told her she wanted her to.
Even so, her mother fussed about at the front door, checking on Kokoro several times, and though her usual time to leave came and went, she still lingered.
‘Don’t overdo it, OK? If you feel you can’t handle things, come home early,’ she said. ‘I’ll call you in the afternoon.’
‘OK.’
Her mother finally stepped through the front door.
‘I’ll be off in a minute then, Mum,’ Kokoro said, seeing her off with a wave. When she reached the gate, her mother turned around.
‘Your bicycle,’ she said. ‘Last night your father cleaned the seat for you. It was really quite dusty.’
‘Oh?’
‘He said he’d come home early today. He said to tell you not to overdo it.’
‘Um.’
Last night he’d said the same thing directly to her. He seemed quite anxious. But also a little relieved. ‘You’re an amazing kid,’ he told her. ‘To decide on your own to go back – I think you’re incredible.’
It hurt to think that she was only going in for a day, but hearing him praise her did make her happy.
And maybe …
Maybe seeing everyone today, she wouldn’t be so scared of going in the next day. She might be able to attend school properly, together with all of them.
She left home at nine, avoiding the window when other students usually arrived. She hadn’t ridden her bike for so long, and as she climbed on, the seat felt cold under her skirt. She breathed in the chilly air.
As she started to pedal, a thought struck her.
I’m not going into my class, she thought. I’m not going to school.
I’m going to see my friends.
It just happens that the place we’re meeting at is school.