THE THREE OF THEM SAT in the living room: Mr Ida, Kokoro and her mother.
Compared to his earlier visits, her mother was clearly anxious.
The previous night, Kokoro had told her mother the story of what had happened with Miori back in April. She’d never talked about it in all these months, but she wanted her mother to hear it directly from her. Especially as Mr Ida would have explained it as some kind of argument.
When Mr Ida arrived, Kokoro was told to wait upstairs in her bedroom. Your teacher and I will talk first, just the two of us, her mother had said.
Her mother’s expression was so cold and angry, she did as she was told.
✦ ✦ ✦
ENOUGH TIME HAD PASSED SINCE the events of April that when Kokoro told her mother the full story of what had happened, she could do it without breaking down in tears. She thought it would actually be fine to cry, to show her mother how much she’d suffered, but somehow no tears would come.
It was tough for her to explain it was all as petty as boyfriend–girlfriend stuff, who liked who, but she managed.
She wanted her mother to get emotional and upset. For her to say, What awful people, and protect her daughter.
Mum’ll be so angry, was her first thought, but in the end she wasn’t. As she told the story, her mother’s eyes welled up. When Kokoro saw the tears, she was shaken and even less able to cry herself.
‘I’m so sorry, Kokoro,’ her mother said. ‘I never realized any of this was going on. I’m so, so sorry.’
She hugged Kokoro close, and clasped her fingers. Her mother’s tears plopped down on to the back of Kokoro’s hand.
‘We’ll fight this,’ her mother said, her voice trembling. ‘It might be a long battle, but let’s fight it. Let’s do it, Kokoro.’
✦ ✦ ✦
BACK IN HER BEDROOM, SHE saw the mirror was glowing again. Today everyone would be getting together beyond the mirror.
And she badly wanted to be with them.
But instead she quietly left her bedroom, walked down to the bottom of the stairs, and pricked up her ears. It was a small house, so even though the door to the living room was closed, she could still just make out what they were saying.
‘There seems to be some trouble among the girls,’ she heard her teacher say.
‘It’s not an argument, is how Kokoro put it,’ her mother said. Kokoro felt a stab of pain in her heart. The voices grew louder, then quieter, like waves ebbing and flowing.
Wasn’t Ms Kitajima supposed to come with you today?’ she heard her mother say.
‘Um, no,’ Mr Ida said. ‘I came alone. Since this is an issue in our school.’ Kokoro remembered Ms Kitajima, and the teabags she’d brought her.
We can use those teabags at our castle Christmas party, she thought, and everyone can taste them.
Ms Kitajima might have told Mr Ida something. Wanting to cooperate with the school, she might have looked into what had happened in April.
You’re battling every single day, aren’t you?
Remembering her voice, Kokoro longed to see her again. She gently closed her eyes. Then she heard her teacher’s voice; it sounded as if he were making excuses: ‘You see, Sanada has her own … She’s a cheerful, very responsible student.’
‘What did you say?’ Her mother’s voice grew sharper, and emotional for the first time. Kokoro wanted to plug her ears.
She slipped back upstairs to her bedroom. The mirror was shining.
The rainbow light that opened the entrance to the castle was so gentle. Kokoro touched the glowing surface softly with her fingers.
Help, she thought.
Help me.
Someone – help me.
✦ ✦ ✦
A WHILE PASSED BEFORE SHE was called downstairs.
The faces of both her mother and Mr Ida had reddened since earlier, and when Kokoro joined them, they tensed up even more. The atmosphere was so heavy it was as if the very colour of the air had changed.
‘Kokoro,’ her teacher said. ‘Would you be willing to meet Sanada to talk through what happened?’
When she heard his words, she felt she couldn’t breathe. Her heart began to pound in its cage.
She stared mutely at her teacher.
‘She’s the kind of girl that people often misunderstand, and I’m sure there were things that hurt you, Kokoro. But I talked to Sanada and she’s concerned about you. She regrets it.’
‘I totally doubt that,’ a voice said. It was Kokoro’s heightened voice, trembling.
Mr Ida stared at her in astonishment. Kokoro shook her head.
‘If she regrets anything, it’s that you might have been annoyed with her. There’s no way she’s worried about me. She’s just afraid no one will like what she’s done.’
Kokoro got this all out in a rush. She never imagined she’d say so much. She could tell how it unsettled Mr Ida.
‘Kokoro, the thing is—’ he began.
‘Mr Ida.’
Her mother stepped in between them. She held his eye, her voice calm.
‘Shouldn’t we first hear, directly from Kokoro, what happened? Just as you’ve heard Miss Sanada’s account.’
Mr Ida looked on silently. He was about to say something, but her mother spoke first. ‘That’s enough for today,’ she said. ‘Next time I’d like you to bring the teacher in charge of the whole year, or even the head, with you.’
Mr Ida said nothing, his lips drawn tight. He looked down, avoiding her mother’s eyes, and Kokoro’s.
‘I’ll come again soon,’ he said, and got to his feet.
After she’d seen him off at the front door, her mother called her. ‘Kokoro.’
She was about to ask her something but stopped, changed her mind. She looked tired, but calmer, more collected.
‘How about coming shopping with me?’ her mother asked. ‘We don’t have to go to the mall. If there’s somewhere else you’d prefer, let’s go.’