Chapter 398: Everything Comes Back To You

Songs for this Chapter: Make You Feel My Love by Adele, To Build A Home by Patrick Watson & The Cinematic Orchestra, Say Something by A Great Big World & Christina AguileraAvaren;

Birds sing faintly somewhere in the distance, and I stop moving entirely... Because I remember this place.

I remember every inch of it.

I smile at her as a drop of tears escapes my eyes, and she steps closer to me.

"You always liked this place." Her delicate voice whispers, and I stare at her helplessly.

"I never saw it this way before," I confess, and something changes in her expression then.

Softness. Pain. Love... Oh, so much love...

"Our first home together." She says, and tears slide endlessly down my face.

I cannot stop looking at her. I don’t want to.

I’m terrified that if I blink... She’ll disappear.

She steps closer slowly and then places one hand gently against my chest as she steps easily onto my feet.

"Dance with me." She asks again as she rests her head against my chest.

My breathing shakes violently, but still... I nod.

I listen automatically.

To the grass beneath our feet.... To the running water nearby.... To the wind moving through the trees, and the birds chirping softly in the distance.

My heart—without question— finds the rhythm she always taught me, as I hold her to myself and let myself get lost in the feel of her.

How right she feels in my arms. Perfectly safe... and trusting. My Calisi... my heart... my world.

Dancing with her feels like breathing... And heaven knows I would give anything to keep breathing. Anything at all.

She steps off my feet with a delicate smile on her face, but her eyes betray the sorrow we both share.

She twirls beneath my hand gently. Laughing softly, but I can’t stop the tears. Gods, I can’t pretend. I can’t act like it’s all fine. I need her.

I love her with everything in me. How do I say goodbye to that?? How do I say goodbye to her??

Why is this happening? How do you go from loving someone so dearly to just... losing them? Like–like they were hardly ever there? A speck of dust brushed off the surface of your existence.

Is that... Is that what I’m expected to do?? I can’t! I won’t! I–I fucking can’t!



I’ve loved her since I was a boy—

Her laughter crashes into my thoughts, and I’m pulled back to the present.

Her laughter is soft... Beautiful... soothing.

I stare at her, and a miserable smile splits my face as I memorise.

As I desperately memorise.... Every smile, every movement... Every detail of the woman I never got to truly see until now.

And silently... I cry. Hopelessly. Because I know.

I know...

This is goodbye.

"Please come back with me," I finally whisper, and she stops slightly.

"Avaren..."

"Please," I beg with my voice breaking again.

"You can’t leave me," I add in a miserable croak, and she closes the gap between us.

Her lips find mine in the most delicate and painfully final kiss. Then rests her forehead against mine, and I just hold her.

"Maybe it’s my time to go." She whispers, and my heart drops to the depths of my stomach.

"No!" I snap, but she breathes.

"Avaren—"

"No!" I cut her off again as panic starts clawing through me wickedly.

"I won’t survive this," I add, and her eyes close briefly as she wraps her arms around my torso in a consuming embrace.

"You will."

"I don’t want to."

The confession comes out immediately. Honest, ugly, and real.

"You are my life," I whisper as I pull back and lift her chin.

Her expression shatters at those words, but still, I see the stubbornness to be strong behind those eyes.

"You gave up too much for me already," she whispers, and I nod desperately.

"And I would do it again."

"Avaren—"

"I would give up everything again." I reaffirm as I grip her hands desperately.

"I have nothing without you." I cry shamelessly now, and tears finally spill down her cheeks too.

"You sacrificed your eyes for me, Avaren." She points out as she reaches up gently to touch my eyes, and I sniffle through a biting smile.

"And I’d sacrifice more," I whisper, and she falls silent with more tears building in her eyes as she stares at me.

And then she kisses me again. Longer this time... Sad enough to kill me.

Then she whispers against my lips,

"Now you have the chance to live."

I stare down at her in disbelief, and she smiles at me as she sniffles.



"How?"

"Live for yourself this time." She replies, and my brown knot in confusion. What is she saying??

"I don’t know how. I can’t, Calisi, you’re—" I begin, but she cuts me off.

"You’ll learn."

"No," I whisper desperately. "Teach me instead."

Light!!

The way her face breaks at that sentence— I will never recover from it.

"Maybe in another life, things will be kinder to us," she whispers, and suddenly... She starts fading.

My heart stops.

"No." I breathe in horror.

Her fingers begin slipping from mine, and I struggle hopelessly to hold on.

"Avaren..." She calls weakly as she’s also reluctant to let go.

I grab her desperately, but the more I hold on, the less of her I can keep in my arms.

"You can’t go." I crumble.

She’s crying now, too. And that makes this all worse.

"I love you." She whispers with her beautiful face wet with tears, and I crumble to the ground as I watch her fade away like a dream at sunrise.

"Calisi, no!" I scream as the valley around us starts disappearing, too.

"I LOVE YOU," she says louder this time. Then she smiles through tears... and vanishes.

Everything goes dark instantly.

I’m back inside the chamber.

Back, holding her corpse. And this time, I break completely.

"NO!" The inhumane scream tears from me.

Mana detonates through the Covenstead violently.

I feel the walls explode outward, and the floor cracks apart.

People outside begin screaming in terror. But I can’t stop.

I clutch her body desperately against mine.

"I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU!"

I’m sobbing now. Bitterly sobbing. Broken and animalistic in every sense.

"I’LL GIVE ANYTHING!" I scream to any force that fucking cares to listen.

The world can take whatever the fuck it wants from me. It can take my very soul... but not Calis. Not my Calisi... I love her... She’s the only thing I... love....

My grip tightens around her body as I shut my eyes tighter.

"PLEASE!" I groan, and suddenly, the room grows cold.

I feel a presence appear before me. It’s not loud, or violent... Just... there.

Ancient... Watching.

And suddenly, it speaks.

"Would you truly give anything at all?"