“What… What’s going on…?”
Nazuna stood with her face near the window. She watched the beach roll by.
I approached her and said matter-of-factly, “…It’s because I threw that orb.”
“Huh?”
“The orb you picked up at your dad’s spot.”
“…What are you talking about?”
“…If… Just hear me out. If that orb was some kind of wish-granting orb, and if throwing it let you go back to any time or place you wanted…where would you go?”
“That’s absurd. Why would it do that?”
“I’m just saying what if that was true. What would you do?”
“…How am I supposed to answer a question like that right out of the blue…? I don’t know.”
“Would you go back to before your dad died?”
“Huh…?”
“I mean, what I’m trying to say is that…I already threw it…earlier…”
“…When?”
“Well, I mean…I threw it a bunch of times.”
“…You did?”
“After school, at the fork in the road near your house. When your mom found you and dragged you away.”
“…Huh?”
“That was the first time I threw it.”
“Hold on a minute. What are you talking about?”
“Don’t you remember?”
“No. When did that happen?”
“Today.”
“Today?”
“In the evening.”
“It’s evening right now. And when my mom caught me and was about to drag me away, we were at the station. Just a little while ago.”
“No, I’m talking about the first wishing world… I’m trying to tell you. We’ve been repeating this day over and over. Don’t you remember?”
“You’re not making any sense. Norimichi, are you feeling okay?”
“It’s ’cause I threw that orb…”
“…”
“Do you believe me?”
“…”
“…You’re right. This sounds completely insane, doesn’t it?”
“…Explain it again. From the beginning.”
“Okay… You invited me to the fireworks display because I beat Yusuke when we raced in the pool, right?”
“…That’s right.”
“But really, I lost to Yusuke.”
“…”
“At first, you invited Yusuke to go see the fireworks.”
“Azumi? Ew. I would never invite him.”
“But you did. You invited Yusuke instead of me. And after school, you went to Yusuke’s house. But he stood you up, and I ended up going to his house instead… And then, we were walking together, and you got caught by your mom, and I picked up the orb when you dropped it and just hurled it as hard as I could, wishing, ‘If only I’d won against Yusuke in the race’… And everything around me started to go all whoooooosh…”
“‘Whoooooosh’?”
“Or maybe not so much whoooooosh as like…nyeeeeeew…”
“Those aren’t even words.”
“I’m trying to explain! …Anyway, so after that, I found myself in the pool again, swimming…and that time I won…and you invited me, and so we were gonna go to the fireworks display together…but then…”
“Then you stood me up instead?”
“No, I didn’t! …A bunch of stuff happened, but when we were about to get on the train, you were dragged away again. By your mom and her fiancé…”
“And then?”
“And I ended up going to the lighthouse to see the fireworks with Yusuke and the guys. But the fireworks we saw were flat, and…it just wasn’t right. Fireworks aren’t supposed to be flat. I figured the world I was in was the wrong one, and so I threw the orb again, wishing, ‘If only I could have gotten on that train with Nazuna.’”
“…And?”
“And we managed to get on the train, but that time, Yusuke and the others saw us, and your mom was chasing us, too. We ran away from everyone, all the way to the lighthouse… But when the fireworks started, they weren’t round—and they weren’t flat. They were this super-weird, wiggly shape, and so I figured that world wasn’t right, either…”
“So you threw it again?”
“Yeah…”
“What did you wish for that time?”
“Huh? Um…well…I, uh…”
“Say it.”
“Uh… Okay, so…I said, ‘If only…Nazuna and I…’”
“What? I can’t hear you.”
“…All right! ‘If only Nazuna and I could be together!!’”
“…”
“…That’s what I was wishing when I threw it…”
“…And now we’re here?”
“…Yeah.”
“Well, what about the train? Why’s it running over the water?”
“I don’t know exactly how it all works, but…in the last world, your mom was waiting for us at the lighthouse station, so…”
“So the train went in a different direction for us?”
“That’s what I think… I know it sounds unbelievable…a story like this…”
“…Does that mean you created the world we’re in now?”
“No, I didn’t exactly create it. It’s just that in these, um, wishing worlds, as I keep calling them, things are always a little different than they were before. Like, the fireworks become flat—or weird shaped, I guess. I don’t really know…”
“Huh…”
“That’s why I was asking you.”
“What?”
“If you could go back to some point in time, where would you go?”
“Huh?”
“I mean… I was thinking. The place where you picked that orb up… It was, um… It was the place you last saw your dad, right?”
“Yeah…?”
“The orb came to me, and I ended up throwing it a bunch of times, but…what if that orb was really a gift to you? What if it was from your dad…? I mean, I’m not saying there’s, like, a ghost or a spirit hanging around, but, um…what if there’s some world beyond our own, where your dad is waiting to reunite with you…?”
“Huh? Are you saying we’re being called to the afterworld?”
“No, no, I’m just… How should I put it…? If… If that day at the ocean, your dad hadn’t…”
“If he hadn’t died?”
“…Yeah.”
“…”
“…”
“…I wouldn’t go back.”
“Huh?”
“I miss my dad. I feel lonely now that he’s gone, and sometimes I really want to see him again, but…”
“Yeah…?”
“But if I tried to go back to that moment, I think it would make him sad.”
“…Why?”
“’Cause I already see him and talk to him, whenever I go to that spot on the beach.”
“…”
“Whenever I have some good news or whenever something bad happens, I always go there. I talk to my dad and tell him about everything that’s happened.”
“…”
“And when I do, I can hear him. My dad’s voice floats to me in the sound of the waves, from somewhere beyond the ocean. It always tells me the same thing.”
“…What does it say?”
“‘Live.’”
“Huh?”
“He says, ‘Live.’ Just that one word, every time.”
“…”
“I heard it this morning, too.”
“…”
“That’s how I know I’m doing okay.”
“…”
“I’m doing okay, Norimichi.”
“…”
“…Huh? Are you crying?”
“…I’m not crying.”
“You are, aren’t you?! Look over here!”
“I don’t want to!”
“Look at me.”
Nazuna grabbed my shoulders and turned me toward her. I didn’t know how long the tears had been streaming down my face. Not wanting her to see, I tucked my chin against my chest.
“You know what else…?” Nazuna continued.
“What?” I snapped, a bit defensively.
I wiped my face with the backs of my hands. When I looked at Nazuna, I saw the large droplets that had welled up in the corners of her eyes. Then they were streaming down her cheeks.
“If I went back a whole year, I’d be shorter than you again.”
As she cried, she flashed me a radiant smile.
Of all the expressions I’d seen as I’d looked up into Nazuna’s face that day, that one was by far the most beautiful.