“To begin with, glasses are used to assist with abnormalities in vision such as nearsightedness, farsightedness, and astigmatism, and to shield the eyes from strong light. As such, glasses come in all manner of styles, and no two glasses are the same. Actually, scratch that; there are nonprescription glasses—glasses purely for show—that can be mass-produced and are therefore the same. However, if everyone were to wear glasses with the same frames, it would lead to the complete erasure of individuality. Everyone has his or her own pair of glasses that fits them perfectly—no one in this world looks bad in all glasses. Simply by wearing them, one can look intelligent, increase how sincere they look, and even increase sexual appeal. They are practically a sacred treasure for one’s face. That is precisely why I cannot help but pity those who do not wear them. People are unaware. They are unaware of just how much they are missing out on their own charm born from the gap between when they are wearing glasses and when they are not! ‘I thought they were some violent delinquent, but they were actually kind!’ ‘He’s so cool, but he has the sweetest smile!’ ‘She’s usually so flamboyant, but now she looks so homely!’ You can create these exact character gaps with a single pair of glasses! Glasses are a part of one’s face, a tool that adds vibrancy to your whole look! Even those who barely make an impression at all can show off their personal appeal with a simple pair of glasses. In a way, it’s just like a girl’s makeup. In other words, not wearing glasses is like leaving one’s face naked. That, in and of itself, can be a way of showing off one’s natural beauty, but that does not mean we should neglect the effort to look beautiful. Whether man or woman, we are all attracted to that which is beautiful. And if that is the case, then everyone should wear glasses! They should embrace their own beauty and look at that which is beautiful with their beautiful, clear glasses! Glasses can even give the impression that one is pure, tidy, and innocent. A woman has nothing to lose by wearing them, don’t you agree? In this world, glasses are still a luxury item, yet to spread to the common people. And so, I will simply spread them around the world myself! I will make no use of my divine powers. I will spread them around the world as a fellow human being! As an evangelist of glasses, I travel the world and inform everyone of their wonder! That is why I have come all this way to ask for your assistance, Master Touya.”
“I-I see...”
Could you be a bigger yapper?!
Glassie, the god of glasses, had gotten so engrossed in his speech that his divinity was leaking out. The maids in the room had to leave because it was affecting them!
Honestly, it was strange that his divinity was leaking out like this and yet none of the other gods came to check what was happening. They’d definitely realized the god of glasses was here, right? They knew and that was exactly why they didn’t come, right?
Damn you, don’t shove your annoyances off onto my plate!
“Are you listening?”
“Oh, uh, sorry... W-Well, I pretty much get what you’re trying to say. Glasses are still seen as a luxury item in this world, so only a handful of nobles actually wear them. Back on Earth, there were plenty of people who didn’t wear glasses and instead wore contact lenses, but—”
“Contact lenses?” the god of glasses practically spat out, narrowing his eyes, his face contorting as he looked at me. There was a dark and gloomy light within those sharp eyes.
Oh no, I said something I shouldn’t have, didn’t I?
“You’re not one of those, are you? A foolish supporter of those foolish lenses you insert into your eyes, I mean. Are you telling me that you think inserting a foreign object into an organ as sensitive as your eye will end well? This world has healing magic, but even that is not all-powerful. You may be able to heal a wound to the eye, but you cannot cure the growth of bacteria. Make one wrong move and you can even blind yourself, yet you claim that such horrors are on the same level as glasses? Abandoning one’s captivating glasses and replacing them with contacts is like going to fight an enemy buck naked with not a single piece of armor on your body! If you have bad eyesight, then wear glasses! Even if you don’t have bad eyesight, wear glasses! They are a companion that will accompany you for life! Contacts are the heretic’s path! Glasses are the most supreme existence in this world, the ultimate item with infinite possibilities!”
“Wow, amazing...”
I couldn’t think of anything else to say to the glasses god monologuing with rabid eyes.
Gimme a break, seriously...
The god let out a breath and said, “My apologies. I became a touch enraged.”
“Only a touch?”
“I had a flashback to a fight I had with the god of contacts a thousand years ago, so I couldn’t help it...”
A god of contact lenses actually existed? Would contacts even have existed a thousand years ago?
“You’re thinking purely in Earth terms. There are other worlds with thriving civilizations that developed contact lenses well before Earth, you know? No matter the world, however, glasses were always made first! That said...there are civilizations that ended up so advanced that sight correction operations became possible, so both glasses and contact lenses decreased in usage...”
The god of glasses slumped over in sadness. Apparently, when humanity progressed far enough, everyone stopped having bad eyesight and glasses became a fashion item. Even that eventually started to go out of fashion, and everyone stopped wearing them. It was true that no one really wore monocles back on Earth anymore. No matter the world, some things trend while others fall into disuse.
“There are worlds where the races that live there do not need glasses or contacts either. Worlds like this with this level of civilization are the ones best suited to spreading the gospel of glasses. Oh, returning to why I came here, this is why I would like your assistance in doing so.”
“Mmm...”
Honestly...I couldn’t give two flips! It didn’t matter to me whatsoever if glasses became popular or if they died out. Actually, wait, no, the latter might be a problem; there would be people out there with bad sight that would suffer from that, especially the common folk. There would most definitely be many commoners who would benefit greatly from glasses being sold at an affordable price. In that sense, I didn’t think it was such a bad idea.
But if that was the case, we’d need to start by spreading the technology of lens grinding more widely. I was pretty sure we could easily share it between countries by holding a technological conference with the alliance. We did have an expert right in front of us, after all. We could start by spreading it among the nobles and upper classes, and then finally make cheap, affordable glasses that could go to the commoners.
For nonprescription glasses, people didn’t need to know how to grind lenses, and we could probably get it trending among people without bad eyesight as a fashion accessory...
“But, eh...I doubt me wearing glasses is going to magically get them trending.”
“Really? But I thought using famous people as a walking advertisement worked.”
“Famous? Well...I guess I am famous to some people. But if you’re wanting glasses to start trending as a fashion item, you should get a girl as a model.”
Putting glasses on someone like me with the most normal face ever wouldn’t have much of an impact. If anything, it would just power up my plainness. In that case, why not get a beautiful lady to increase how captivating it looked?
“Hm. Then may I ask your wives for assistance?”
“Huh?”
“I saw your wives at the wedding ceremony, and they’re all beautiful women. Were they to model my glasses, their beauty would be even further emphasized. They would make for the perfect advertisements. How does that sound?”
“Using the girls as walking ads? Hmm...”
I was sure they’d look good in glasses, at least. I’d even seen Linze wearing them once before, back when she was using my translation glasses. They really did suit her.
“Let’s bring it up with them for now,” I said. “But if they say no, you better not force them.”
“But of course. Thank you.”
To be honest, I’d like to see them all wearing glasses too. Maybe not as an ad, but they might like wearing them as a part of their outfits. Anyway, we could only ask and see.