“Hm? You’re staring at me again,” she reacted sharply to my gaze for the second time─my assessing gaze. Ms. Toé then put both her hands behind her head, as if in resignation, and said, “Okay, I get it. We’ll do it later, so just come to my room. You’d better keep this a secret from Suruga, though.”
“No, that’s not it!”
There was nothing okay about it!
Seeing it didn’t always mean getting it, even for her─well, I suppose she was just kidding, but it was in pretty bad taste.
What kind of person was she?
Even if the lady didn’t necessarily equal my mental image of Toé Gaen, this did seem to banish the notion that the land of mirrors was all my delusion or a dream. If you told me that somewhere inside of me, I wanted to see an energetic Sengoku or a playful Oikura, I couldn’t argue with you, but even I didn’t yearn to take a bath with the mom of one of my juniors.
What kind of unconscious was that?
“Ha… Seems like this has been an interesting development, I’m glad for you. A lot happens once you become an adult, but also when you’re a kid, I guess? Hang in there, young man.”
“And what am I to do with such easy advice?”
“Oh, you wanted advice? Well, I suppose you might─but you see, Araragi. I’m not anyone’s idea of a life coach.”
“…”
“I mean that in all sorts of ways. Considering your situation and given what you’ve done for Suruga, I want to help you, but I don’t know about butting into this story when no one’s asked me to.”
She was being awfully mystifying for someone so laidback. How was I to interpret that? What I’d done for Kanbaru…in this world, or in the other world? I had no idea, and couldn’t even tell if I should. As much as I wanted to bombard her with questions, I needed to be careful, as a potential negative influence on this world.
In her case, though, she proactively─or rather, spontaneously figured out the situation just by looking at me. If I didn’t want to influence this world, my best course of action was to hurry up and get out of the bath and retreat to Ononoki’s position.
Yet escaping from this place meant running away naked. Without so much as a towel, I’d be baring my ass to Ms. Toé.
How embarrassing!
Putting aside my own shame, turning and showing my butt to the mom of a junior I felt indebted to was beyond rude.
I hoped that she might get out first, but Ms. Toé, her scrub towel folded atop her head, looked poised for a long soak. If only I could act so unconcerned.
“…”
“About what I was saying about knowing and not knowing─things aren’t that simple here, Araragi.”
“E-Excuse me?”
I’d gone silent, only for her to start speaking. I wasn’t asking her any questions, but the result was the same if she was going to talk to me─and still short of a course of action, I was barely able to react. My hesitation must’ve been one of those things that didn’t matter to Ms. Toé, who continued, “Knowing and not knowing aren’t dualistic. My little sister has pursued knowing by removing any traces of not knowing, and your friend Miss Hanekawa has kept both knowing and not knowing as close parts of herself, but both of them are overlooking a crucial fact. Which is that a lot of knowledge is wrongly known─you think you know but have gotten it wrong. That’s why understanding is so important in matters.”
“…You know Hanekawa?”
Did she mean this world’s Black Hanekawa, or the Tsubasa Hanekawa I knew who’d left the country? Also, she didn’t mention Ogi, who professed not to know anything, but was that because Ms. Toé didn’t know her or─dammit, the more I tried to think, the more I was spinning my wheels.
I was getting too heated and about to blow my top, and not because I was sitting in a bath.
“Can’t say I know her. I understand her a little, that’s all─how about you, Araragi? How well do you understand your friend? Maybe you don’t get a thing about the thinking of your friend who decided to go overseas.”
“…”
That word overseas meant she was talking about the Hanekawa I knew. Okay, so now this lady who shouldn’t have known anything about me when she’d entered the bath grasped my situation perfectly. At what point had she started asking leading questions and gauging my reactions? She was on an altogether different level.
It was counterproductive to act awkward and reserved around her, and I found myself in a state of resignation, which is to say, I decided to stop trying to hide things─my inner thoughts, I mean, not the details of my anatomy. Nor would she be particularly surprised whatever I confessed now.
I shared why I now sat in this bath, what had compelled me to do so. I hadn’t forgotten about the influence I might have─it had forced Ononoki to “change”─but felt like it didn’t really apply to her.
This was only instinct, but she didn’t seem the type to be influenced by me. She wouldn’t come under anyone’s influence, was above influence. She just digested it all.
“Hmm…so you came here believing in this magic charm? What a pure-hearted maiden you are,” Ms. Toé said with a bemused nod after hearing me out. “Reminds me of a student of mine. Liked magic charms, or maybe I should say curses… But you might as well give up on that approach. This bath─”
Splash, she slapped the water’s surface.
“─is nothing but a bath. If anyone ever saw something on its surface, it’s on the person who saw it.”
“Is that so.”
Yeah. I mean, I knew that. Still, I’d been hopeful because I’d heard the story as an episode involving Toé Gaen. Having it denied in person made it sound all the more ridiculous.
“Oh, no, don’t be embarrassed. I feel kind of bad that I was the reason you got your hopes up,” she consoled me, but when I thought about how excited I’d gotten, how Ononoki was locked in battle, my shame wasn’t so easily wiped away.
Also, I was naked. How could I not be embarrassed?
“It sounds like my little sister and Oshino have gone around saying all kinds of things about me, but this is what happens when you meet a legend for yourself. It’s like reading about a great historical figure only to find a slew of scandals or learning about someone else who was a lot greater. Sorry for being such a plain old lady,” Ms. Toé said all too candidly─but the very fact that she could hinted that she wasn’t just anybody.
I had to wonder. She’d declared her lack of interest in butting into this story, so I wasn’t coming clean to get her advice─but having told her everything, I felt like that process had been necessary here. Until now, I’d been explaining stuff so others would understand, but this time it seemed to be for my own sake: a way of straightening out my own thoughts.
“Well, there’s not much I have to say,” Ms. Toé cushioned our conversation. “After having you tell me all that, I’d be terribly cold to do nothing in return, though. All right, Araragi, let me wash your back.”
She stood.
With a sploosh.
Even as I was feeling embarrassed every which way, Ms. Toé continued to show no modesty whatsoever─and walked right over to the shower area.
“C’mon, hurry up. It’s not every day that you get to have your back washed by a Gaen.”
It’s not every day that you get to have your back washed by anyone, a Gaen or not. Still, and even though Ms. Toé was losing no time working up a lather with her towel, I answered, “N-No, I’m fine. I’ve already washed myself down.”
“Hey, it’s fine,” she said, not taking no for an answer. “You can’t do a proper job of washing your own back. Not that you can count on me to do any better. I’ve never even washed my husband’s back.”
“Ma’am, maybe don’t share anything that heavy when we’re meeting for the first time?”
“But we’re not meeting for the first time,” she casually informed me. “My left hand─has met you, hasn’t it?”
“…”
“You haven’t heard about that yet, have you, Araragi─aren’t you curious? About why I gave that wish-granting Monkey’s Paw to my daughter…to Suruga.”