“Yet, to me, that is the counterfeit─each of us must be a fake to the other,” princess echoed Ononoki’s sentiment on the way here. Or maybe this was deeper, weightier.
If you told me what’s on the surface, not underneath, is the counterfeit, an illusion that doesn’t really exist, I’d concede the point─while always being your natural self isn’t necessarily good, we live our lives falsifying so much about ourselves.
“Like the moon reflected on water,” princess remarked poetically.
Our Shinobu would never say such a thing. But a reflection on water was an apt comparison─it was what I was after when I tried to sneak into Kanbaru’s place.
Of course, I couldn’t say for sure that it was the ticket back to my world…but it was the only guide I had.
“Alas, with but a human body, unlike myself in your world, this feat of opening a portal to another world is not for me to perform,” princess lamented with what sounded like genuine regret. Please, I was not worthy─making such a princess feel bad was making me regretful. Should I take responsibility and crush my own throat?
…What the hell? Why was I even thinking about crushing my own throat?
“But I do believe I can provide some insight, if you would kindly lend your ear to the nonsense of one as naïve to the world as myself.”
“Y-Yes. I would be most grateful.”
Most grateful─that was part of my vocabulary?
“Heartunderblade,” Ononoki jumped in. “He’s holding on better than I thought, but can you hurry it up? Monstieur is gonna be in pretty bad shape soon. Your influence is growing in proportion to his resistance.”
What did that even mean? A terribly impudent tone to take with milady, but unusually for Ononoki, she was concerned about my health.
“Sure, Ononoki,” princess replied, using a more casual register with the shikigami─and just her name.
The versions I knew got along horribly, ignoring each other when they crossed paths at home, but surprisingly, that wasn’t the case here… So Ononoki wasn’t lying earlier─in which case, maybe there was mutual recognition in their heart of hearts. While that seemed like a good thing, I wished I’d found out some other way…
“Sir Araragi. It would seem wise for you to return to your own world as soon as possible─I understand Miss Hachikuji suggested you take a relaxed attitude, but she spoke from the perspective of a god. It would not be in line with human nature,” princess confirmed what I’d thought after her earlier aside that there was no time. What an honor that my thoughts were in line with milady’s─or no, daring to read them was so lacking in decency that I deserved death, many times over.
…Yikes, what was with my mindset here? I wasn’t part of her retinue or anything. I wasn’t so servile even as Shinobu’s vampire thrall.
“To wit, your existence in this world is exerting a massive influence. An influence…perhaps I ought to say, a negative influence. If you would excuse my rude choice of words, Sir Araragi, you are a calamity inflicted upon this weak world.”
Negative influence? Calamity? Inflicted?
Unconsidered, abusive words, ill-befitting milady’s pretty and polite language, but somehow, they didn’t shock me─and just seemed strange.
I mean, I felt like the victim, wrapped up here in some kind of massive calamity─but I was suddenly reminded of Mèmè Oshino.
─I can’t stand you playing the victim.
A line he uttered often.
That expert hated people going around blaming aberrations as soon as anything happened and shunting responsibility─it isn’t what I meant to do, but had I started to think that way at some point this time?
Was milady nudging me towards such an understanding?
What a blessing!
“This world may be counterfeit in your eyes, a place filled with contradictions that does not follow reason, but it exists by way of its own balance. You are threatening that balance. In truth…Ononoki may look to you as though she has returned to normal, but to me, she has transformed into something unusual.”
“!”
I reflexively looked over at Ononoki─who flashed a sideway peace sign.
Why?
But princess was right─even if the shikigami knew this day would come. And from the way milady was speaking, was I going to make not just Ononoki but others transform?
“I shan’t go so far, but it will inevitably cause strain. Sir Araragi, you are and are not Sir Araragi─yet we accept and understand you as him. For you and he are the same. The pending strain could very well undo our world entire.”
“…”
The world? The scale was starting to get pretty huge. Well, I guess we were talking about worlds from the start. I needed to be more aware of that.
I’d interacted with Karen, Tsukihi, and Oikura in a way that wouldn’t give away that I was from another world, but I couldn’t have lined up exactly with their image of Koyomi Araragi (I doubt I’m one-faced like Tsukihi)─they had to be finding me odd, just as Ononoki thought something was off.
In fact, Oikura had said as much. It could be responsible for that line of hers, This all seems like a lie.
Yet the girls recognized me as Koyomi Araragi regardless─because I was none other than Koyomi Araragi. Just like the person in front of me was Shinobu Oshino, however far removed her appearance…
“You must return to your world before this world suffers from cognitive dissonance─we would not survive that unharmed, nor would you, of course. Surely, it would be an alarming state of events. In fact, I have already started to be affected─my understanding of who Koyomi Araragi is already grows dim.”
“I…”
I want to know what kind of person I was in this world, I asked milady a question for the first time─more because it seemed like bad news if I didn’t than out of curiosity.
I felt so guilty I might off with my own head if I didn’t stay strong─but why? Yes, I was causing harm to this world, but that harm could still be rectified. Why was I turning so soon to the idea of atoning with my life?
Did I think it was that much of a sin to destroy her image of Koyomi Araragi?
“That─is something I will not tell you,” she answered.
“I-Is it because…you’ve forgotten so much already that you can’t?”
“No, it is not yet to that stage─though I fear it may come to that at this rate. I will not tell you because the knowledge may, perchance, have a negative influence on you. Ononoki, be sure not to say anything uncalled for yourself.”
“Of course. I haven’t said a word,” the shikigami blatantly lied.
She told me all that stuff about pantsing girls…or was she kidding? What a malicious joke. Of course, it’d be more malicious if it wasn’t a lie.
“B-But…I too wish to return as soon as I may.”
What was with my language? Had I come to beg for forgiveness for not making my yearly tribute?
“As I intimated, we lack a means,” princess noted. “We might near our lone prospect, the bathing tub at the Kanbaru manse, yet fail to contact the other side.”
True. We were clinging onto the legend about their cypress bath as our one hope when it was nothing more than a silly magic charm. It involved Toé Kanbaru, but the legend itself originated with the Kanbarus, not the Gaens. Seriously, should we be relying on it?
How dare I bother milady with such a tale, I promptly ought to end my life right─wait, why did I want to die so much?!
“No good. He’s at his limit, Shinobu.”
Ononoki grabbed me by the scruff of my neck from beside and forced me to stand.
Huh? What?
“Time’s up. I’m bringing him back with me. Wrap whatever you need to say up.”
What an unreasonable request to make of milady!
By my own death, this impudence ought─no, the sin was truly my lowly self’s for standing without princess’ permission, I would die, I would die, I needed to die─
“All right. Sorry for the trouble, Ononoki.”
“I don’t mind. Same old, same old.”
Ononoki sounded kind of cool. Her role here seemed downright unfair.
“Sir Araragi. You are not mistaken in proceeding down your path. But that will not suffice. Do not endeavor to carry this out alone, rather seek support. Be another’s light in this world, just as you became mine─”
“Unlimited Rulebook,” Ononoki said.
Before jumping─teal, don’t mink.