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The entire tavern let out a collective shriek before everything fell silent.
Eventually, Gourry looked up timidly.
“That wasn’t Fireball,” I explained with a mischievous smile, pointing up at the glowing ball now raining light from the ceiling. “It was just a Lighting spell.”
“And what are you going to do about all this?!”
The innkeeper was furious, although I couldn’t blame him. Tables and chairs were in splinters, troll corpses littered the floor, and the whole joint reeked of blood.
The Lighting I’d conjured as a mock-Fireball had been my undoing. The troll remains, previously obfuscated by the dim lamplight, were now illuminated for everyone to see in all their slushy, pulpy, disgusting glory...
And I gotta tell ya, it was one hell of a splatter. “Grotesque” doesn’t even begin to describe it. If you’ve ever worked at a butcher shop or seen an animal hit by a carriage, try to conjure that image in your mind for me. Got it? Yeah, this was a hundred times worse.
It definitely put a damper on the whole “come here for a good time and a good meal” atmosphere the tavern had going for it. Unable to take the new, uh, decor, about half the inn’s customers had already packed their bags and left. So, really, I could understand why the innkeeper was mad. Anyone capable of grinning and bearing something like this had missed their true calling; they should quit their jobs immediately and become holy men or hermits.
Still, I wasn’t going to take this lying down. I mustered my best puppy dog eyes. After magic, playing cute is my greatest talent.
“I know I’ve caused you a lot of trouble. But...” There, I strategically looked up into the innkeeper’s eyes and removed my gloves, then softened and pitched my voice up half an octave. “They would have killed us if I hadn’t done anything...”
Aha, it was working! I could see his anger deflate into nothing more than a displeased frown.
“So...” I pulled three small gemstones from my pouch, keeping my hand tightly closed around them so that the innkeeper couldn’t see what I was holding. “If there’s any way I can make it up to you...”
I then took his right hand with my left, pressing the gemstones into his palm. I still didn’t let him see exactly what they were, but he could take a good guess based on how they felt in his hand.
Key point here: Never avert your gaze! A pretty girl staring into your eyes with her small, warm hands around yours (this was why I took my gloves off)... Surely you can imagine how enrapturing this all was to him.
“I know this isn’t nearly enough, but... it’s the best I can do,” I continued, timidly easing my hands away from his.
He looked down at first, but upon seeing exactly what he’d hoped to see in his hand, he clenched the stones tightly.
“Well... when you put it like that, I can’t be too hard on you. I’ll hire someone to clean this mess up, so you can head back to your room.”
Score!
I bowed to him modestly—several times—then returned to my room with Gourry, who’d gotten off without so much as a single unkind word. The innkeeper apparently assumed I was the one responsible for all this... and, to be fair, he wasn’t wrong.
I’d been in my share of barroom brawls. I’d get thrown out on my ear on occasion, but I could usually smooth things over like I’d just done. Feels like the minute you hand someone a few gemstones, they think you’re a golden goose. And who tosses out their chance at golden eggs?
That said, if I’m asked to leave, I do so without a fuss. It’s not like throwing a tantrum gets you anywhere in that kind of situation.
“I’ve gotta hand it to you. You’ve got serious balls,” Gourry commented as I plopped down on my bed.
Pretty sharp of him to see through my act.
“Whatever do you mean?” I asked innocently.
...Wait a minute...
“Hey, Gourry! What are you doing in my room?!”
“You said you’d explain later, didn’t you?”
“Did I?”
“You did.”
Ah, fine. I had a few things I wanted to ask him too anyway.
“Okay, I’ll explain. But I need you to answer me something first.”
“Sure thing. What is it, little miss?”
“Actually, about the whole ‘little miss’ thing— No, never mind. Just sit down already.”
Gourry took a seat in the chair at the table, facing me.
“Okay, I’m sitting.”
“All right, here goes...” I stared at him long and hard. “Could you ever come to care for a girl like me?”
Man, you shoulda seen him freeze up! It was pretty funny... but I couldn’t just leave him like that.
“Just kidding! Just kidding!” I reassured him.
“Spare me the bad jokes,” he said with a long sigh. “You nearly gave me a heart attack...”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, nothing... Now, what’s your real question? And just so you know, I never reveal my measurements.”
Apparently, it was his turn to dish out the stupid jokes.
“Don’t be a weenie. Okay, here’s my real question: How did you know those guys were after me?”
“I didn’t,” he said simply.
“Then what about what you said right before they busted into the inn? ‘I’ll get to see you in action soon enough.’”
“Oh, that,” he said flippantly. “I could feel an aura of menace around the inn. That meant someone outside was after someone inside. If it’d been burglars, they would’ve come in the middle of the night instead.”
“So what made you think they were after me specifically? Don’t tell me you’re working with them...”
“Let me finish already. I just figured that no matter who it was or what they were after, you’d end up getting involved regardless. You seem like a pretty soft touch, and more importantly, like someone who loves sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.”
Er, I didn’t have a comeback for that one. He was spot on. Actually, I’ll leave it to you to decide whether I’m really a soft touch or not, but it’s 100 percent true that I love sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. My big sister back home used to say that about me all the time.
“So that’s that, then. Satisfied?”
“I suppose...”
“Now, do you have any other questions for me?”
“No...”
“Then it’s your turn to explain. What did you do to them, and why are they after you?”
I let out a sigh.
“Fine, I’ll tell you.”
I then gave him the rundown of how I’d ended up here.
It all started when I’d heard some local villages were suffering under the bandits’ reign of terror, so I went to put a stop to it. Then, while I was gathering up the loot they’d stolen, I skimmed a little off the top for myself. You know, like a commission. Apparently the bandits didn’t much care for that, and they’d been chasing me around ever since.
What’s that, you say? “I thought you attacked them because you were bored and broke?” Keep it down! That part’s just between us!
Okay, fine, so I was lying to Gourry. But what’s a story without a little artistic license, huh?
Anyway, once I finished telling Gourry my tale, he nodded thoughtfully.
“Hmm. Aside from the ‘doing it to help the villagers’ part, that all seems quite plausible.”
Erk! He really was sharp...
“Anyway, this has confirmed something for me too,” I said, quickly changing the subject.
“What?” Gourry asked curiously.
Not that I’d actually piqued his interest; I think he was just indulging me.
“I’m pretty sure they never saw my face when I attacked their base. Yet somehow they’ve been tracking me all this time. I thought that was weird, but lo and behold, they have a sorcerer on their side.”
“The guy wrapped in bandages?”
“Yeah. I bet he was injured during my raid, so he’s been out of action until today.”
“And he’s using magic to track you?”
“Exactly.”
“Huh... Magic really can do anything.”
“Not anything, really. There are things it can and can’t do. It’s more likely that the mummy man put a marking spell on one of the items I stole—or maybe all of them—and that’s what he’s been using to track me. Not even the best sorcerers can track someone down without any clues whatsoever, after all.”
“Oh, really?” Gourry asked, though he still sounded confused.
“Yes, really. Now, any more questions?”
“No, teacher.”
“Good. Then today’s—”
I was going to say “today’s lesson is over,” but before I could land the joke, there was a knock at the door. Gourry and I both sprang into action, taking up positions on either side of it. Gourry reached out and put his hand on the knob.
“Who’s there?” I asked.
“I came to make a deal. You have something in your possession that I want to buy. You name the price,” the visitor said from the other side of the door.
“I don’t believe you.”
“I’m not surprised. I wouldn’t believe me, either. You’d have to be crazy to let someone into your room under the circumstances.”
Wow, really?
“Uh, thanks? I’ll be taking that advice and not letting you in, then.”
“Wait a minute! I know this sounds suspicious, but for the moment, I mean you no harm.”
Way to be obvious there, buddy...
“And your goodwill’s gonna expire the moment you step inside, right?!”
“I realize that it’s fruitless to tell you not to worry. But you have that impressive bodyguard of yours in there, don’t you?”
Gourry and I looked at each other.
“Just so you know... if you try anything fishy, I’ll personally show you the biggest attack spell I’ve got,” I warned the visitor.
“Wait, you’re letting him in?!” Gourry panicked.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got my impressive bodyguard in here, don’t I?” I said with a wink.
I then stepped away from the door and moved to the back of the room.
“Okay, we’re opening the door now. Come in quietly and don’t make any sudden moves. Do it, Gourry.”
After a moment’s hesitation, he complied and slowly opened the door.
The visitor entered...