“Okay, one down!”
After that, I repeated the entire process with the other varieties of gemstones I’d gotten my hands on.
Upgrading them into magical artifacts ensured they’d sell for good coin. They made simple protective talismans when mounted in pendants, and they could similarly enhance the capabilities of weapons and armor. The pendant, bandanna, and shortsword I wore were all rightly equipped with them.
Fashionable, flashy, and practical, they’re all the rage with the bourgeoisie! Buy yourself a jeweled amulet today!
Whoops! Accidentally slipped into marketing mode there! That’s what I get for growing up in a merchant family...
Hang in there, Lina! Nine days left to Atlas City!
The following day, Gourry and I set off down the main road again. The weather was perfect. There must have been a river somewhere nearby too, because I could hear the faint babbling of water. The leaves rustled in the trees, shyly answering the gentle whisper of the wind. Sunlight pouring through the branches dappled the parched road below. It was an idyllic afternoon.
I let out a little sigh...
“I’m hungry.”
Hey, keep your judgment to yourself! A girl can’t help when she gets hungry! We’d left first thing in the morning, and the next town was a full day away! It was around noon that we’d spotted a caravan on the side of the road enjoying some trail rations... which clued us in to the fact that there wouldn’t be any waystations or restaurants along the way.
“You promised not to say that, little miss...” Gourry said, sounding worn.
He didn’t even bother to turn my way when he said it. I was more annoyed that he was still calling me “little miss,” though...
“Sometimes a man just has to tough it out,” he continued.
“I’m not a man,” I quipped back.
Gourry paused for a second there and finally looked my way.
“The same goes for women,” he said. “In tough times, you have to tough it out.”
“Does traveling on some aimless journey really qualify as ‘tough times’?”
Gourry came to a stop, and we both stared at each other for a long time. Our silence was punctuated only by the sound of the babbling water nearby.
In the end, we decided to go fishing for lunch.
The river wasn’t far off the beaten path and ran parallel to the main road. (Technically, I guess I should say that the road ran parallel to the river...) It looked wide and deep enough to swim in, the water was clear and clean, and the bank was all sandy soil. It was the perfect place to sit and take a lunch break.
“Here, fishie, fishie!” I sang as I got to work.
First, I picked out an appropriately-sized fallen tree branch. I then plucked a small fishing hook from my bag and a few lovely chestnut-colored hairs from my own darling little head. I braided the latter into one long cord, which I attached the hook to before tying the whole thing to the branch. Voila—one impromptu fishing rod!
“All done!”
“Impressive survival skills,” Gourry commented, entranced as he watched.
“You hold this,” I said, handing him the rod as we headed for the water.
I turned over a big ol’ river rock and snagged a couple of creepy-looking bugs (I don’t know what kind exactly) that were clinging to its underside. I slapped one of them on the hook and cast our line.
The river kept babbling as it flowed by.
Okay... Pull it back, recast, and... snag!
The river just kept babbling...
[Sequence abridged for your benefit.]
It wasn’t long before we’d amassed a small pile of fish. Gourry started a fire, so we salted and roasted those babies on the spot.
Mm, that’s tasty!
If I’m being honest, I like this straight-from-the-source stuff better than the fish you get at most restaurants. If they’re small enough, I like to gobble ’em down, head and all.
“I can’t believe you just bite into them like that,” Gourry groaned, his mouth agape in disbelief.
For all his professions of manhood, there he was... daintily picking away at the white flesh of his fish like some little girl.
“What a waste,” I lamented. “You don’t have to eat the head, but at least eat the guts.”
“I don’t wanna eat guts...”
“Weirdo. That’s the best part!” I declared, reaching for my second fish and boldly biting into its belly.
“But that’s like... its digestive system, right?” he said, wrinkling his nose in disgust.
“You bet it is!”
“So the bug you caught it with is somewhere in there...”
Blurgh!
I reflexively spat out what was in my mouth.
You... You traitor...
“Y-Yeah, I guess it might be...”
“No, it is.”
“Okay, but still...”
You don’t have to say that right as I’m eating it! Argh, jeez...
And so, between all the conversation and my aggrieved inner monologue, we polished off the whole lot of fish we’d caught. And yes, Gourry ate more than I did, just in case you were wondering.
“Hmm, I’m still a bit peckish...” he admitted.
“Okay, then let’s catch a few more.”
I stood up, walked away from the fire, and reached for the fishing rod I’d left sitting out...
But my hand stopped midway. I could feel a presence nearby.
“Goblins,” Gourry muttered, not sounding especially perturbed. His voice was so quiet that I just barely heard him. “I caught a glimpse of them earlier. About twenty-four in all.”
Ah, of course! I picked up my fishing pole. If this was goblin territory, that would explain the lack of restaurants and rest stops in the area.
Goblins are perhaps the most populous species around, so virtually everyone’s seen them: humanoid creatures that stand about chest high. They’re nocturnal and fairly intelligent, but they’re kind of aggressive in terms of personality... though they can be a little cowardly, too. They mostly come out at night to steal cattle from towns and villages that are far enough away from the big cities to be vulnerable.
Moreover... they’re a lot of fun to mess with.
I took the fishing hook in my left hand and quietly recited a little “bite-at-every-cast” (proper name pending) spell. This was a Lina original, mind you. If it got out, it would spell the extinction of fish everywhere. That’s why I kept it in-house, so to speak, and I didn’t use it all that often myself.
Now, just as I finished chanting the spell...
“Skreh!”
With some strange sort of war cry, the goblins poured out of the undergrowth. They were armed (after a fashion) with rusty little swords and improvised spears made from bits of iron tied to sticks. Goblin highwaymen.
“Hush! Quiet!” I immediately said in Goblin.
The goblins all stopped in their tracks.
Now’s my chance!
I used the momentary distraction I’d created (not that it was especially hard) and cast my line into the water.
The river babbled as it flowed by... But other than that, there was silence.
The goblins all seemed to be wondering what I was doing as they stood there watching me. Goblins are curious by nature, you see, so I knew they wouldn’t attack until they’d figured out what I was doing.
And it wasn’t long before I got a bite.
“Yes!” I cried, still in Goblin, as I yanked the rod out of the water. “Yes! Big catch!”
I then pulled back on the pole while the fish was in the air at just the right moment, unhooking it and dropping it smack in front of the goblins. Easy enough to describe, sure, but a lot harder to pull off. Be impressed, okay?
“Grab it!” I shouted in Goblin.
“Skreek!”
“Skrak, skraa!”
“Skreeskra!”
Yes, good boys...
By the time the goblins nabbed the fish flopping around on the shore, I’d hooked two more. Needless to say, they just kept biting. By the time I’d hauled ten fish to shore, the goblins had formed a ring around me.
Now I got ’em.
“Here,” I said as I passed the pole over to the closest goblin.
“Skree?”
“It catches lots of fish,” I said to him in his own tongue. “Want to try?”
“Skree...?”
The goblin accepted the pole, head inquisitively cocked to the side, and cast the line into the water. He caught a fish immediately.
“Skreeskree!”
As his fellows crowded around him in excitement, Gourry and I made our exit.
“That was an interesting trick,” Gourry said to me later that night.
We’d finally made it to the next lodging town, and we were currently eating dinner at the tavern on the first floor of the inn, which reeked of booze and cheap cigars.
In a flash, I tore into the chicken leg in my left hand. It wasn’t too bad.
Hom, nom, nom... Mm!
In a flash, I drank down the cup of lesys juice in my right hand.
Oh, wait, that’s what Gourry was talking about!
“You mean this afternoon?”
Splat!
Gourry promptly faceplanted on the table.
Look, I wasn’t trying to play dumb or anything. I just hadn’t given the whole fishing trick that much thought. No, honestly. I mean it!
“It was a super simple spell. Practically any sorcerer could pull it off.”
“Ohh?” Gourry hummed, impressed. “Does that mean you’re a sorcerer?”
Blarghsplat!
Now it was my turn to faceplant on the table.
“Hang on, buddy!” I laid into Gourry. “Just what did you think I was? The outfit didn’t give it away?!”
Just so you know, my outfit this whole time had consisted of pants and tall boots; a loose-fitting tunic kept in place with a thick leather belt; thin leather gloves; a bandanna over my forehead; and pauldrons made from great turtle shells that had been polished thin and smooth, from which my cape hung down to just above the floor. Everything was a stylish black, accented here and there with magical glyphs embroidered in silver thread. My outfit was a bit like magical armor, a talisman of protection in its own right.
On top of that, I had my accessories—silver bracelets and a necklace, as well as a shortsword affixed with one of my own handcrafted magic jewels—which sparkled with a dazzling light. If anyone could look at all that and assume I was a waitress or a fishmonger or something, they had to be braindead, plain and simple.
“Now that you mention it, I suppose that is a sorcerer’s garb... Boy, and here I was sure you were a waitress or a fishmonger or something...”
Urghblarghsplat!
I took another faceplant, this time right into my bowl. It was only then that I realized I hadn’t actually finished my soup.
“Whoa. I was only kidding... You sure have some great comedic timing, you know?”
“It’s not exactly intentional,” I said, wiping potage from my face with a handkerchief.
“So, just how powerful are you? Can you use Fireball? Based on your outfit, I’m guessing you’re a black magic user.”