“…Argh! Jeez, crap! You’ve gotta be kidding me! Why do I have such rotten luck?!”
Though his scream sounded freakish even to himself, Touma Kamijou continued his incredible escape.
Dashing through a back alley in the middle of the night, he quickly threw a glance over his shoulder.
Eight.
Despite having run more than nearly two kilometers already, there were still eight of them. Touma Kamijou, being neither a cook from some foreign legion nor a cyber ninja who’d survived to modern times, had no chance of winning against so many of them—even three was just way too many to handle in a high schooler’s fight. It didn’t matter how strong you were. It was just impossible.
Kicking a grimy bucket, Kamijou kept running as if he were chasing off black cats.
July 19th.
Yeah, it’s all July 19th’s fault. It’s the day’s fault that I hit an unusual emotional high, shouting, “Hooray, tomorrow’s summer vacation!” It’s the day’s fault I went to a bookstore and bought a manga that obviously wasn’t going to be good, then went into a restaurant when I wasn’t even hungry, thinking, Why don’t I splurge! where I saw a girl who looked like she was in middle school getting harassed by a thug who was clearly drunk, and although something like that would never occur to me, I thoughtlessly decided to help out…Kamijou’s deviant train of thought was running away from him.
He hadn’t considered that all the punk’s friends would suddenly come out of the restroom.
I always thought going to the bathroom in groups was reserved for girls. Yeah.
“…I ended up having to dash out of there before I even got to see my Hell Lasagna topped with goya and escargot, and now I’m getting treated like I skipped out on the check. I didn’t even eat! Man, what did I do to deserve all this rotten luck?!”
Scratching his head frantically, he broke out of the alleyway and onto a main street.
Moonlight had descended on Academy City. Even though the city itself took up a third of the Tokyo metropolitan area, he saw nothing but couples on dates wherever he looked. It’s because it’s July 19th; it’s all this date’s fault! Kamijou, who was single, screamed internally. Everywhere around him, three-bladed wind turbines sparkled in the illumination of the moon and the city’s lights like an aristocratic bachelor’s teardrops.
Kamijou sliced through the night, tearing couples apart.
He glanced down at his right hand as he ran. The power inside it was useless in this situation. It wouldn’t help him take down a single thug, it wouldn’t raise his test scores, and it wouldn’t make him popular with girls.
“Ugh! Just such rotten luck!!”
If he did manage to shake his relentless delinquents brigade, they could always call up reinforcements on their cell phones or bust out motorcycles to chase him down or something. So he was trying to run them all ragged until they dropped. To do that, he needed to dangle himself in front of them like bait in hopes of making them tire themselves out. It was basically a boxer’s rope-a-dope strategy, letting an opponent punch himself out until his stamina was drained.
Most importantly, though, he wanted to help.
There was no need for this to turn physical. All he had to do was wear them down until they gave up. That would be victory.
Kamijou had some confidence in his ability to run long distances. His pursuers, on the other hand, had already ruined their bodies with alcohol and cigarettes, and the boots they were wearing weren’t made for sprinting. They’d find themselves unable to go much farther if they kept running full speed without trying to pace themselves.
He weaved through main streets and alleys alternately, making himself look like a dork fleeing for his life. He watched as the thugs dropped out one by one, falling to the ground on their hands and knees. It’s a perfect solution, and nobody needs to get hurt, he thought to himself. But what he said aloud was:
“D-damn it…Why do I have to waste my youth on something stupid like this?!”
He was frustrated. Seeing all those couples filled with happiness and sweet dreams around him, Kamijou felt like a loser at life. Summer vacation began the next day. It was pretty depressing not to have any sort of romantic comedy in his life.
Behind him, one of the delinquents jeered, “Stop!! Is running away all you can do, you little brat?!”
These weren’t exactly the sort of sweet nothings he’d had in mind, and it rankled Kamijou.
“Shut up! You should be thanking me for not beating the snot out of you, you stupid ape!” he shouted back, realizing he was wasting precious energy in doing so.
…Seriously, you should be thanking me for not getting hurt, damn it!
After that, he ran for another two sweat- and tear-filled kilometers. He exited the city proper and came to a large river spanned by a metal bridge that stretched approximately 150 meters long. There were no cars to be seen. The sturdy iron bridge wasn’t even lit up, just blanketed by an eerie darkness reminiscent of the sea at night.
As he shot across the bridge, he checked his tail.
He stopped. At some point, he’d thrown off all his pursuers.
“C-crap…Did I finally lose them?”
Desperately fighting the urge to plop himself down right then and there, Kamijou looked up at the night sky and inhaled.
Wow, I really did solve the problem without punching anyone. I think that deserves a pat on the back.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Man, what the heck was that? Are you pretending to be a good guy by sticking up for those chumps? What are you, some kind of overzealous teacher?”