After the ceremony where I was forced to drink a whole tankard (which was really a full barrel), everyone moved to the reception outside the church. Parthian receptions were just grand feasts, full of standard barroom chatter, drinking contests, and sometimes fighting or falling over, having succumbed to drink. It also just so happened that there were many adventurers from Parth attending this wedding, so it was easy to imagine how the reception would turn out.
“Raise a glass to Kelvin and Rion’s future! Cheers!” cried Uld.
“Cheers!” everyone shouted.
I had to wonder how many times a toast had been offered today. The regular toasts were a signal to drink more, with each one becoming a race to see who could finish their drink first. And as the main characters for today, Rion and I were forced to participate.
Seriously, this is exactly the same as a drinking party over at the Fairy’s Song! Everybody’s just talking about whatever, eating and drinking until they drop and sleep it off. It’s just an adventurer’s feast. Well, we are drinking outside, so I guess we need to go to bed before things get too cold, but... Oh well, our maids and golems will probably do something about it. Sorry for making extra work for you all.
“Still, Kelvin, you really showed your stuff back there! I didn’t think you’d manage to drink all that in one go!” Uld exclaimed.
“Oh, come on, I had to or I couldn’t get married. Of course I did it. Actually, if you thought that, you should have gone easier on me, Uld-san!”
“Ha ha ha! Now, now, it’s all good, isn’t it? You managed it, after all!” he exclaimed.
“Yeah, you were super cool, Kel-nii!” Rion added.
Uld slapped my back repeatedly while Rion gave me the highest praise possible. Thanks to the Heavy Drinker skill I’d borrowed from Gerard, no matter how much I drank, I wouldn’t get sick, which was why I was more worried about Rion than myself, but...
“Glug, glug!” Rion was drinking happily. It turned out she was better at handling her booze than I’d expected. She hadn’t actually had that much, but she showed absolutely no signs of being drunk.
Is her Absolute Purification skill breaking down the alcohol? I wondered.
“Anyway, even if it proved too much for you, it’s not like that would’ve meant you couldn’t get married,” said Uld.
“Huh? Really?”
“Yeah. Actually, at about half of Parth’s weddings, the husbands fail that part. When that happens, the wife will drink a cup’s worth in his place, and they’re considered to have completed the trial,” Uld explained.
“Really, now? So there was a backup plan... Wait...huh? Then I didn’t need to force myself to do all that?”
“I wouldn’t say that. It wasn’t totally meaningless, you know? If you couldn’t drink it all, you’d be fated to be whipped by your wife, probably. That’s the belief, anyway,” said Uld.
“That’s a pretty specific belief, huh? Er...just to sate my curiosity, what happened during your wedding to Clare-san?”
“My wedding? Hm... I don’t want to spread it around, but...well, I failed spectacularly, since I was a pretty high level for Parth! Man, it wasn’t as big as yours, Kelvin, but I had to drink from this stupid huge stein. And with how nervous I was, I ended up spitting it all out on Clare’s face!” Uld answered.
“Whaaat?!”
“Clare immediately socked me in the gut too. Now that I think about it, it was an awful wedding! Hah! Hah! Hah!”
“Ha... Ha ha...” I’m amazed you can laugh at that, Uld-san. Actually, given how utterly whipped he is by Clare-san, maybe it’s not just a superstition?
“Oh, right, I failed too, didn’t I?”
“Me too!”
“Actually, hasn’t this been the first time in a while that someone succeeded? I mean, I failed too.”
The other adventurers started admitting that they’d failed one after another. And, miracle of miracles, each and every one of them were dominated by their wives.
Yeah, I’m certain now. This has gotta be a pretty powerful jinx. So it’s either a blessing or a curse? I bet it’s a hidden status of some sort. Oh man, does that mean I’d be whipped by Rion if I failed? Actually...maybe that’s okay? Hrm...what a tough question.
“What’s wrong, Kel-nii? Why’re you making that face?” Rion asked.
“Huh? Oh, no, it’s nothing. I was just thinking how glad I am that I managed to show my determination, regardless of the popular belief attached to that ritual. Not that I’d be all that sad if I failed, though!”
“Hee hee, what does that mean? You’re weird, Kel-nii.”
I laughed along with her, and that was when a great cheer came from a different section of the party. I looked toward it, wondering what was happening, to see Mel and yellow Mdo making all-out poses of utter triumph.
What are they doing? Seriously?
“So...huge...”
“Huh? No way! Is that thing real?”
“Uh, who knows? I hear that some places bring out fakes, but just the smell alone is making my mouth water...”
“Hey now, how many meters is that thing?”
“Wow!”
I could hear others talking to each other as Mel and Mdo passed. The pair were also followed by a tremendously huge, house-sized something.
Ah, I see. I know what it is. So, it’s come.
“Move aside! Special wedding cake coming through!” Clare yelled.
“Master! Rion-sama! Please, come this way!” Efil called out to us.
Just as I heard their voices, the house-sized super-huge special wedding cake entered my sight. It needn’t be said, but making it had been a joint effort between the ultimate teacher-student combo of Clare and Efil. I had known this was their plan, but...
Yeah, it’s huge. And it looks delicious. I get why Mel’s and Mdo’s eyes are sparkling.
“It’s time, Kel-nii! We’re doing this together!” Rion exclaimed.
“Yeah. How orthodox. Let’s go all out.”
Of course, Rion and I would be cutting the cake as our first act as husband and wife. We bid farewell to Uld and the other adventurers before hurrying to the cake.
Whoa! It looks even bigger from up close. And it’s really finely decorated too. It’s clear how much work went into making it. Thank you so much, you two!
“If I remember right, cutting the cake is normal. But surely the size of that cake and knife are anything but?”
“It’s not like they’re actually going to cut the cake. They’re just going to stick a knife in, aren’t they? Surely the actual cutting comes after.”
“Hey, there’s no way the whole thing is real, right? It’s gotta be that only where they put the knife in is real, and the rest is fake, right?”
Everyone was offering all sorts of speculations, but they were all wrong. The cake was indeed real, and we would, in fact, be cutting the whole thing. The plan was to cut the cake ourselves, with gratitude in our hearts.
“Sorry to keep you waiting. We will now proceed with cutting the cake. But before that, everyone, have you received your plates and forks?” Efil asked. “Anyone who hasn’t should ask for a set from a nearby staff member.”
“Plate and fork? Why would they need all that?”
“I wonder if they’re going to distribute it to everyone immediately after they cut it.”
I have a lot of questions, but first please hold the thing level. Everything else can come after that.
“Okay,” Efil said after a while. “It looks like everyone has a plate and fork. Well then, master, please do the honors.”
“Yeah. Leave it to us. Are you ready, Rion?”
“Anytime!” Rion replied.
I drew close to Rion, and we both held the knife in our hands. Up until then, everything had been normal, but this was where it ended. I used Ground Cleave and Rion used Superconductive Lightning as we adopted a low stance, like a lion about to pounce on its prey. Then we pointed our blade at the cake, and...
Now!