Today was the parade celebrating the marriage of royalty—one of the biggest priorities for the kingdom. The weather was clear, definitely ideal for festivals, but the truth was very different.
This trial for Shutola and me needed no further explanation. But actually, having to kiss for such a long time while exposed to the public was a hard pill to swallow; both of us were embarrassed by the thought. Being in such close contact was nice, but everything else was a true ordeal.
On the other hand, I had to wonder what the people thought. Any normal person would probably simply watch the parade and cheer us on while mainly enjoying the event, so in that sense, this was probably just entertainment for them. The greatest entertainment provided by the kingdom itself. They’d already given us such loud cheers during our address. The main event would probably result in a huge roar.
Or at least, that’s what I thought!
It was silent. Completely silent. At the moment, I was on the carriage, kissing Shutola as the parade wound its way around the capital. Our carriage was escorted by soldiers, knights, and a band, making for a truly large procession. Everyone was in lockstep, making for an impressive scene, all boosted by the rousing music. Our intertwined forms should also have been satisfying, and yet, the crowds surrounding the parade were totally quiet.
Hey, what’s the meaning of this? Could it be? Are they being controlled by something again, like during the Demon Lord incident?!
I considered for a moment, but as far as I could tell, they weren’t under any undue influence. The crowds were totally healthy; they were silent of their own volition as they watched us pass. There were quite a few onlookers who looked to be tourists, but it seemed they couldn’t quite bring themselves to cheer thanks to the pressure of those around them.
Let me confirm once again: Is this really the kingdom’s biggest celebration?! Both Shutola and I are doing our best, okay?! This is fine, right?! Save me, big brother Azgrad! Help! Oh, no, I have to stop. If I keep thinking about this, I’ll get upset. I need to concentrate on Shutola right now. Yeah, concentrate on the lips right in front of me. Her lips are so soft and nice— Wait, no. If this is all I think about, it’ll cause problems in its own way, though I won’t say what kind. It would actually ruin my concentration.
“I see...”
“Oho...”
I could feel the people’s gazes on us—or rather, they were stabbing right into us. I could also pick up hushed utterances. The crowd was definitely quiet, but at least they weren’t totally silent. For some reason, the citizens were jotting something down on paper and occasionally whispering opinions.
“Hm... Their kissing pose is the same as the late Serge-sama’s father, Zel Trycen-sama’s. There’s no novelty to it, but there will be those who will remember the previous parade. Plus points for the callback.”
“Maintaining that pose requires great core strength. Shutola-sama is incredibly talented at everything from governmental affairs to negotiations—this was the one area people were concerned about, and yet...I see she is not wavering. She must have trained well in preparation for this trial. Plus points for posture.”
“There is more to think about when it comes to kissing before the public than just looks. For example, innocence. The previous king, Zel, may have garnered a different view, having gone through this trial multiple times, but I would want to see a kiss befitting Shutola-sama’s and Kelvin-sama’s ages. It may seem like they’re playing it cool at first glance, but you can see their cheeks are slightly pink, and they are definitely exuding a slight air of awkwardness. Yes...good. Points for purity.”
“Wait, wait, there’s still more to consider. I’ve been watching them since the start of the parade and I have yet to see them run out of breath. All your points are valid, but their stamina for being able to maintain this for so long should be praised too. That’s to be expected of a Rank S adventurer and the one with Trycen’s future on her shoulders. Of course, we should add points for sheer vitality.”
“Um, hm... The princess is very pretty. Points for being beautiful.”
“No, no, that should be for being cute.”
“Oho ho ho! Points for providing excellent points of debate. As one who stands above others, she must always provide topics of conversation.”
I knew it. We’re being scored, aren’t we? They’re all scoring our kissing, huh? Are the scores on that paper in your hands? It’s pretty scary seeing men and women both young and old all holding papers and staring at us so intensely, you know? Ugh, where did that warm atmosphere from the address go?!
::Don’t be distracted by their gazes, Kelvin-san. You don’t need to worry, the parade is going well,:: Shutola told me through the Network.
My agitation must have shown, and this was exactly what they meant when they described a saving grace.
Got it. I’ll keep kissing, then, I replied to her. But I didn’t expect to be scored during this. Their stares are really intense in a way I wasn’t prepared for.
::It is said in Trycen that this kiss will determine the future of the country. And so, the citizens earnestly review our kiss and look for points where we can improve.::
The fate of the kingdom rests on this kiss?! I shouted telepathically.
::Well, it really is just a custom. Only, this is one of the few chances they will get to speak unreservedly about royalty, so they are very serious about it. I hadn’t been born yet, but I heard that father received an enormous number of notes after his first parade and that it was awful in its own right,:: Shutola told me.
I-Is that so? I replied.
So everyone in the kingdom is a kissing expert or something? I wondered privately.
::Normally, we would use our time in the various rest areas to take in suggestions and improve our kissing as the parade proceeds, but...luckily, we have not received any. That means the vast majority of people are satisfied with our kiss. Good job, Kelvin-san,:: Shutola told me.
Ha ha ha...right. Yay me, I replied.
Those breaks were barely long enough for me to go to the restroom, I thought privately. And we’re expected to consider notes, even after they’ve been carefully selected? Doesn’t that negate the meaning of having breaks? We’ve rested multiple times already, but I feel like the breaks barely happened at all.
::This is a saying passed down among Trycen royalty, so don’t tell anyone else: The first half of the trial is a fight against your sense of shame, the second half is a fight against your bladder,:: Shutola told me.
They must have had it hard, I replied sympathetically.
I was sure all of the past royals had had it very hard, not just the former king, Zel. What a terrifying trial.