Alcohol, also sometimes called the water of life, has at some points in history been worth its weight in gold. But personally, I didn’t quite buy into the hype. Still, it’s the truth that alcohol is well loved by many, regardless of status. There are many stories revolving around booze, as many as there are people. Some are successful, some describe failure, some are simply comedic, and some include new encounters. Alcohol is closely connected to life itself, a neighbor you just can’t get rid of.
Anyway, on the subject of this partner to life itself, my memories of it seemed to largely be made of brushes with death. Not that the cause wasn’t clear: It was Sera. If I were to rank the top three most likely causes of my future death, she would definitely be up there. I didn’t want Rion to go down the same path. I also didn’t want her to make the same mistakes I had. And so, I decided that today’s taste testing would be done with just a lick.
“Uh, hm... It’s not very tasty, is it?” Rion said.
The booze she was sipping was something of ours that was especially weak. It seemed she didn’t find it particularly tasty, given how her brows were furrowed.
I get it, though. It’s normal not to like the taste too much your first time. But what I’m more interested in right now is...
“How are you feeling, Rion? Is your vision blurry? If you feel like throwing up, tell me right away.”
Indeed, I was most worried about her health. I was ready to cast healing magic at any time, staying close to her on standby. Gerard was also on standby, a bowl of clam miso soup in hand.
“Come on, Kel-nii, there’s no need to be so worried,” said Rion. “I only drank a little, and I had some cheese Ange-nee gave me before too. That’s supposed to make it harder to get drunk, isn’t it?”
“You shouldn’t rely on it too much, but I do think it helps,” Ange chimed in. “It’s perfect as a snack to accompany drinking, and it’s an easy precaution to take. Your sister Ange here highly recommends it!”
“Cheese and other dairy products help with the absorption of alcohol. I think it makes sense. Still, this cheese isn’t something you see too often, is it?” Efil said. She was staring holes into the sliced cheese.
“This is a prototype cheese I got in Toraj,” Ange replied. “It looked like they were developing it to be a new specialty. Tsubaki-sama said she wanted to hear our opinions on it when she gave it to me as we left. It’s pretty tasty as is.”
“Yeah, it’s really good. I haven’t really gotten a taste for alcohol yet, but I think I like this cheese,” said Rion.
“Hm... This cheese seems like it would pair well with something sweeter,” said Gerard. “Well, that kind of drink is nice every once in a while, I suppose.”
“Indeed. I think it would be perfect with a white wine with those properties,” Shutola added.
“Shutola-chan?! When did you change into adult mode?!” someone cried out.
Efil had been pondering something, and now she spoke up. “Master, may I try making a dish with this cheese?”
“Ha ha! Looks like a fire was lit under your cooking soul. The party’s already started, so try not to get too into it, okay?”
“I won’t!” she replied happily.
Before I knew it, this turned into a tasting party for the new cheese from Toraj, but I was just glad that Rion had yet to feel any adverse effects.
I think we’re safe for now?
“So at the very least, Rion can hold her drink better than Sera. This is a big discovery. Good for you, Rion!”
“Yeah!” Rion replied.
“Yeah!” Sera agreed happily. “Rion holds her drink better than m— Hey, wait a second. Why?! I don’t agree! She barely drank any at all just now!”
Seriously? You know why. Just being able to withstand that tiny amount makes Rion’s capacity better than yours, Sera. Well, erm...given how careful we’re being, no matter what Sera says, she probably won’t be having any today. She’d ruin the party if she managed to drink any booze. I want to believe she understands that, at least. Hmm...that reminds me, where did Dorothy go? I don’t see Mel and Colette anywhere either.
With that thought, I looked around and found them on the terrace.
“Gulp, gulp... Haaah! Oh man, this is some good stuff,” said Mel. “I accepted it from Addams on a whim, but man, I’m glad I did. The moment it fills the mouth, a feeling of invigorating refreshment fills my body, and it burns nicely as it goes down. After a breath... Whew. As you can see, its unique aroma and spiciness that lingers in the nose can be expelled that way. It may be a former title, but he was one of the highest-ranked gods, so it makes sense he has good taste. Erm...this thing’s brand is... Oh? God-Killer? Heh heh! That’s a pretty fancy name. What do you think, Dorothy? Is it to your taste?”
“Gulp, gulp...brrp. Oh, my apologies,” said Dorothy. “Erm...it is a satisfying drink, and it tastes good, I think. It’s...spicy? But after drinking it, a faintly sweet aftertaste fills my mouth. It kind of feels like I cut it with some sort of fruit juice. Is this an easy drink, meant for someone new to alcohol? I think I can really gulp it down.”
“Hm... It says that it’s 50 ABV, so it’s definitely not meant for beginners,” Mel replied. “You can see how Colette has collapsed over there after only a small amount of it.”
“Heh... Hee heh heh heh heh... Mel-sama’s strongest scent, and the blended aroma coming from Dorothy that includes Rion-sama’s scent as well...and between it is my insignificant self... This alone is enough for instant death, but it’s reinforced by a unique alcohol brought straight from the heavens... I feel awful but also good... This contradiction is sparking a big bang inside of me... My sense of smell is dancing as it reaches greater heights...” Colette muttered.
“Good, at least she’s doing as fine as usual,” said Mel.
“This is normal for her?” Dorothy asked incredulously.
What should I do? This is turning into a huge deal. Mel and Dorothy are drinking together from stupidly big cups, while Colette is lying at their feet in a trance, muttering something. These three have definitely been going at a high pace in a short time. I can see an insane amount of empty bottles piled up around them.
Hm... That’s weird. This whole thing should have started with a light feeling, like, “Let’s enjoy our first experience with alcohol!” And yet that group is creating the dictionary definition of a hellscape. I mean, Mel said they were drinking God-Killer? That’s the booze that Addams put Cheruvim under with—that megastrong booze, right? When did you get your hands on that, Mel-san? And even if I accept that it’s fine for you to have that stuff, why did you let a beginner like Dorothy drink it? Is Colette okay? Doesn’t it seem like she’s on the verge of death, caught between pain and pleasure?
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“I have an endless number of questions,” I said after a long pause. “But for now I should just ensure Colette’s safety.”
Mel was a strong drinker to rival Gerard, and she knew her limits. It would probably be okay to leave her be. By that same measure, Dorothy was holding her own with Mel, so there was no doubt she was strong too. It didn’t seem like she needed my help.
But Colette was different. She’d exceeded the maximum amount of happiness and alcohol that her body could handle. She seriously looked like she was close to ascending to heaven. I suspected that I would only add to her problems if I were to get too close in this situation, but I figured it was better to have her drown in happiness than booze.
Okay. Let’s start the rescue operation.