In fact, the way Yukinoshita and Isshiki had been putting forth ideas had already been sort of like presenting a false premise. Their strategy, presenting two options and shooting each other down in an attempt to derive the correct answer, had actually helped clue me in to the idea. The groundwork had already existed there for her to come to the same conclusion I did.
Yukinoshita lowered her eyes and shook her head at my question. “That’s not a certainty. As long as we assumed that the prom itself was being opposed, then that logic wouldn’t be valid… But I had a feeling you would still find a way.”
Since she wasn’t denying the fact that she’d seen through my idea, I was forced to admit she was impressive as always. But there was a shadow in her smile at the end. I wanted to deny that, so I gave her a smirk and a little joke. “That’s a lot of trust… Pretty surprising,” I teased.
“I was surprised, too. I have no idea why the thought came so easily.” Yukinoshita smiled wryly in return, if a little bashfully. It was a glimpse of regular teen girlishness, and my breath caught a bit. As I groped for a reply, she murmured in a fragile voice, “I was…dependent enough on you to think that.”
A plaintive regret was clear in her eyes as she gazed at me. I couldn’t stand it, and I looked away. “…Even if that were true, that doesn’t change the fact of your victory. Your winning condition was to actualize the prom with both our methods, right? So then what happened was your plan, your idea.”
“…You’re all right with my being…the winner?” she asked weakly.
I wanted to end this conversation, so I turned away, nodding.
“Well then…our competition is over now. So will you do what I say?” She struck back, and I couldn’t ignore those words. When my gaze snapped over to her, she clenched her fists tight, abandoning her earlier fragility and pressing her lips together. Her eyes, waiting for my answer, wavered with urgent determination.
“…No, that’s not happening,” I said. “It’s true that this one is your win. But it’s not like that means you’re the overall winner. What’s the total score?”
“If we’re talking about the conditions for victory, I do recall you said…if I win this competition, then I win, and you would do what I say.”
Seeing her explain that so dispassionately, I was aware my lips were dry. A memory passed through deep in my mind, telling me I’d heard that line before. Even while I was internally panicking, I wasn’t going to give up. “…That’s just about the wording. I mean, a different perspective.”
Yukinoshita let out a shaky sigh, and then in an intimate tone, sweetly entreating, she murmured, “Then…you decide.”
Before that fragile, transparent smile, I realized my own loss. She fully understood how I would answer if she said that to me.
Since I had made up my mind to respect Yukino Yukinoshita’s decision and guarantee her independence, I wouldn’t be okay with her ceding the decision to anyone else—even myself.
This was why she’d accepted this competition. For the sake of this one moment and this one answer, she’d deliberately abandoned and ignored all misunderstandings, conflicts, and disagreements.
She was going to bring this competition, this relationship, to an end.
“I can’t decide that…,” I said. “This isn’t just for us to decide. Yuigahama is a part of the competition, too. Besides, Miss Hiratsuka is a biased judge. And besides, there’s like, I mean…”
But I couldn’t accept that way of concluding it. I flung out every idea I could. I couldn’t let it end like this. Wait, wait, I was thinking, reaching my arm out into empty air. I didn’t know how to stop her, forgetting even to inhale.
But when I trailed off, Yukinoshita smiled sadly. Her eyes were watery. “…I’ll be honest. It’s been fun. It was the first time that spending time with someone else could seem comfortable and fun to me…”
Her tears were so close to the surface that if she told me she was honestly happy, then I couldn’t deny it or tell her to stop. When I weakly lowered my arm, Yukinoshita nodded gratefully, then said what she wanted to say
“I’ve never…quarreled or fought like that…or cried in front of others that way before. And when we went out together, I was so nervous. I’d never done this before; it was nothing but unknowns… I never knew it was all right to rely on someone. So somewhere along the line, I went wrong…” Her voice was trembling as she said it all, unprompted.
I looked up at the ceiling. The sunset in the distance stung my eyes, but I couldn’t close them. I just exhaled humid air.
“This relationship is false. It’s wrong. I’m sure it’s not what you wished for.” When she tied her monologue together like that, I knew The End had already been typed out for us, and I finally focused on her face. “I’ll be okay. It’s…all right now. You saved me.”
Wiping away a shining droplet with her finger, Yukino Yukinoshita smiled beautifully. “So now…let’s put an end to this competition…and this relationship.”
If that was her answer, then there was no reason for me to say no.
My goal of saving her had been accomplished, and with this relationship brought to a close, the codependency was resolved, and I’d kept my pride as a man. That service-mindedness or whatever, I’d never had it to begin with. The club, and my work, was over.
So now there was nothing. All my reasons to be involved with her were gone.
“Okay… Then I lose.” I sighed out everything, and then, so as to fulfill the last responsibility remaining to me, I asked her, “I’ll do what you say. What should I do? …I’ll make anything happen that I can.”
The truth was, I’d sworn that no matter what happened, that was the one thing I would grant.
Yukinoshita let out a sigh that sounded relieved, then told me the words I’m sure she had been affectionately, carefully keeping warm inside her. “Grant Yuigahama’s request.”
“Can I take that as your request?”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes, nodding as if she were watching someone go to their demise.
With the gentlest smile I could, I answered, “…Okay.”
Ending our final exchange, I stood from my chair. Yukinoshita didn’t move from her place. My footsteps were opening up the distance between us until eventually I reached the hallway.
And then, quietly and gently, as if catching it in my arms, I closed the door.