I really, really didn’t want to go to school.
More specifically, I didn’t want to go into the classroom.
Well, to be honest, I didn’t want to see Hayato Hayama.
To be both honest and specific, I extremely did not want to see Hayama and suddenly get awkward about it, while he acts like it’s nothing and has a normal day.
No.
To speak the honest truth from my heart, I didn’t want to see him pretend to have a normal day, then catch a glimpse of his pain when he thought no one was looking.
The night before, I’d basically said my piece and ran instead of saying good-bye, so I hadn’t really seen his response. His mouth had dropped open, and he’d reacted with something between shock and exasperation, like you would if you’d stumbled across some rare beast. I’d figured whatever he said would be way too much trouble, so I’d feigned ignorance and made a break for it.
In the classroom that morning, I sneaked a glance at Hayama and the rest of the group chatting by the window like always, then immediately went facedown on my desk.
Nothing any different from the usual. Just dawn light shining in through the window and energetic conversations with bright voices.
But just for a moment, in his smile, I’d picked up faint signs of distress.
Maybe that smile hadn’t really meant anything. Maybe that had been his usual charming mask. If so, that distress was just me reading into it, or even projecting something from myself.
This was why I’d never wanted to have a real conversation with Hayama. Things I’d been pretending not to see were being vividly shoved in my face, and all it brought me was guilt. Hayama had to feel the same, too.
Ultimately, Hayama and I couldn’t even become mirrors to each other; we just kept seeking out mistakes in one another while we selfishly vented our irritation. I know I do that, which is why I make an effort not to look at him.
Still, it hadn’t all been bad. Thanks to that night, I did manage to feel certain about one thing. Verbalizing it solidified my awareness of that goal.
That BS about a man’s pride had been worth it.
I didn’t look at Hayama after that, and the time passed aimlessly.
I lifted my face from my desk, glaring at the clock hanging on the wall. With yet another deep sigh, I stared at the hands, which were going far slower than usual.
Though it was my own seat, it felt weirdly uncomfortable. All I could think about was how I wanted school to hurry up and be over already.
✦ ✦ ✦
C’mon, just end…
Despite all my wishing, once school actually was over and I dashed out of the classroom, I arrived at the UG Club room and found myself sighing again.
It began with my report.
“…And so Hayama will not be offering his cooperation.” Remembering what had happened the day before, a bitter smile crossed my face.
But the other faces present were muuuch more bitter.
“Whaaat…?”
“That’s not good…”
“All avenues exhausted…”
Hatano and Sagami were both taking the news grimly, while Zaimokuza was in deep distress.
Yuigahama was the only one forcing herself to smile as she consoled the others. “C-come on, guys… We still haven’t talked with Kaihin and stuff yet. Right, Hikki?”
“Exactly right. So first, we contact Kaihin,” I said, turning toward Yuigahama.
But she just let her arms flop under the table and cocked her head. “Huh, what?”
“Huh? I mean, their number…”
“…Huh? Me? Don’t you know it, Hikki?” Yuigahama’s head tilted from one side to the other.
And then silence fell.
That instant was like staring dominoes. I glanced at Zaimokuza, who looked over at Sagami, who nodded at Hatano, who glared at me. Once we’d done a full circle, my eyes went back to Yuigahama.
“So you don’t know… I kinda don’t wanna make the call…They might think it’s weird if I contact them out of the blue…” Yuigahama sighed, a little tired, then pulled her phone out of her pocket.
I gave her a lukewarm look that said, It’s okay, it’s okay, all boys worry about that at some point; they’re definitely gonna think you’re weird regardless. Girls just all think like, “Why is he suddenly asking about what’s been assigned for homework…?” Yuigahama glanced back at me.
“But hey, Hikki, don’t you know, um…Orimoto’s number?”
“I deleted it,” I answered instantly.
“Erk…” Yuigahama froze with her phone in hand, speechless.
“You normally delete numbers like that the minute you graduate middle school, right? I’m never gonna see those people again, after all. It’s a waste of storage,” I snapped.
“That’s not normal, okay?!” Yuigahama instantly retorted.
But the reaction from the others was less aggressive—in fact, they were on my side here, nodding in agreement.
Yuigahama did a double, then a triple take. “Huh?! I’m the weird one here?!” She slapped a hand to her forehead with a groan.
“But, like, you exchanged numbers with her, right?” I asked.
“…Just in case, since I was kinda in charge of contacts for the Christmas event. Though I’ve never really talked with her…” As Yuigahama approached the latter half of her sentence, her voice gradually faded out, and her shoulders drooped.
Thinking back, I did get the feeling Yuigahama had mostly been patching up our flubs and contacting people and managing money stuff. But the boys from Kaihin were impossible to talk to, across the board. So she must have been talking with Orimoto and the girls.
Yuigahama and Orimoto had met a bunch of times, but I’d never seen them having a friendly conversation. In fact, there was more of an uncomfortable tension between them.
Yuigahama was a communication skills monster, and Orimoto was a conformity beast, but maybe they weren’t very compatible. Well, their initial meeting was a bit of a unique situation… Admittedly, that was not something we could have avoided… In fact, it was Hayama’s fault, wasn’t it?! That’s it! Well, of course I wouldn’t say I had absolutely nothing to do with the matter…
Being aware of that, I lowered my voice a little as I proposed, “If you could tell me her number, then I’ll send it.”
Yuigahama’s eyes rose from the blank screen of her phone to me, and then she puffed up her cheeks. “Hikki, you don’t have LINE.”
“Ngh.” As expected of modern youth, their methods of contact are too high tech… Oh, I want to use PreCure stamps as much as anyone, you know? But there aren’t enough people for me to keep in contact with, so not using it doesn’t cause me any problems…
Oh, I do feel bad for leaving all communications to Yuigahama. But while I was worrying about that, she was starting to tap away on LINE when I heard some grumbling on the other side of the table.
“How the hell does this guy even function, not using LINE…?”
“He must be a primitive… A Chiba primitive…”
“He has such love for Chiba, he hasn’t evolved at all since the Chibanian epoch. His geomagnetic polarity is still reversed, so he cannot use LINE or other messaging apps. He’s still monkeying around on his phone-carrier e-mail address.”
“That’s not true at all. I use web mail and SMS like anyone else,” I argued a bit more heatedly than I would have liked. The three guys did not seem convinced.
“I never use e-mail these days…”
“He’s got to be from the Jomon period… Does he come from the Kasori Shell Mounds?”
“Herm, but the times have changed a tad. Let us begin Hachiman Postal!”
The three glasses crowd were all snickering. I knew Hatano had a mouth on him, but Sagami can be nasty, too. His sister is a little cuter… Lol nope.
Whoops, this isn’t the time to be giving these guys my attention.
When I glanced over, like, All right then, how is that message going? Yuigahama was mumbling as her fingers tapped and swiped.
“Ummm…so then what should I ask?” she said.
“For now, attach the prom proposal as a file and say we want to have a meeting about it as soon as possible. Offer today, tomorrow, or the day after as dates.”
“File…attach. Attach…?”
Yuigahama chanted File Attach! …But it missed! Yuigahama is confused!
It does sound like Fire Attack, though, I’ll admit. But silly ol’ Yuigahama, it seems she doesn’t quite understand how she might attach a file! I’m not even sure she knows what attach means…
At this point, Sagami the younger could no longer bear to stand by and watch. He pushed up his glasses and asked with mild politeness, “Oh, you have to upload it to the cloud first. What are you using for storage?”
“Suto…reeji…?” Yuigahama repeated the English term with a shake of her head.
Breathing out a big agh, Hatano shook his head. “This isn’t gonna work. She doesn’t get it at all… Are you going to upload it to Dropbox or something?”
“Herm… Would a file transfer not be easier to understand? One may simply send the URL.” Zaimokuza folded his hands and tilted his head.
“Ahhh, yeah.” I snapped my fingers. “I’m borrowing the computer,” I said, drawing the UG Club laptop toward me over the table. With a tata-tap, I uploaded the proposal document to a file transfer service and issued a URL. While I was at it, I also wrote out a line asking about their schedule and sent it to Yuigahama.
“You can just copy-paste this,” I said.
“O-okay…I get copy-paste…” Yuigahama smiled, then started tapping on her phone again. We watched her do that. Eventually, she breathed a tired phew.
“Were you able to send it?” I asked.
“Yeah, basically…” Yuigahama combed at her bun shyly, and everyone smiled and nodded at each other with satisfaction. What’s this “princess of a male otaku club” feeling here…? Just now, even Zaimokuza was attempting to be useful… What a fearsome girl this Gahama is…
But anyway! Right now, we were waiting for a response.
Meanwhile, I spent my time checking over the website Hatano and Sagami were working on, playing the client from hell: It’s looking great! It’s looking great, but I also kinda want to see three more variations! It’s okay if it takes until Monday!
Eventually, Yuigahama’s phone vibrated.
“It’s them?” I asked.
“Mm, no. It’s Yumiko. Asking what time today.” She brought the phone softly to her lips and looked at me.
Oh, so it’s about modeling for the photo shoot… “Sunset is around five thirty, so I guess we meet up at four thirty. So, like, we get everything ready, then wait for the sunset as we do the shoot,” I said.
“Mm, okay,” said Yuigahama, typing up the reply. Keeping her in the corner of my eye, I glanced out the window.
The weather that day was sunny, just as the report had predicted the day before.
There were a few clouds, but that would make the sunset even prettier.
Glancing up at the inclining sun, I began getting ready for the shoot.