“My name is Kyoichi Yasaka. Kyoichi Yasaka, the Demon King.”
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………What?
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“I’m sorry, um, could you explain that to me? I mean… What? What?! You’re Japanese? You’re human?”
I was starting to lose it, but the Demon King sounded like he was really enjoying himself. “I shouldn’t think so. No, I’m very much a member of the demon tribe, and I have no connection to any place called Japan. Although I’ve heard rumors of a land by that name. And what about you? Do you not share your name with the great hero?”
…?!
“Hey, quit trying to confuse me! What, you think it’ll stop me from finishing you off? That’s dirty.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure I’m the one who’s about to be finished off. Heh-heh! That name does garner interesting responses from a great many of you, though.” He paused. “Do you wish to know where my name comes from? And wouldn’t you like to find out why my troops and I are attacking humanity? It is our greatest secret, one your people have never managed to figure out.” He laughed again, as if from the bottom of his heart.
Wait. What was going on here? Why did this seem just like the prelude to a final battle in some game or manga?
“I never mentioned an interest in knowing. Why would you tell me any of it?”
“Because every one of your strangely named confederates who has come before you has been eager to know. You humans tell and retell the story of a great hero who became the Demon King. But wouldn’t you like to know the truth? The reality no one else is privy to?”
“Um, okay. Maybe you could, uh, tell me, then? I mean, about your name and, like, why you’re attacking humanity and stuff?”
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“If you wish to know the truth, then defeat me in battle!”
Damn dirty sonofa—!
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“Mwa-ha-ha! Did I get under your skin? I’m sure you must be infuriated now! I got the last laugh! That brings the bile down a little.”
He might’ve been old, but he sure wasn’t mature!
“Ahhh, it’s been a long time since I last properly proclaimed myself like that. In the past, I’ve only ever spoken my name to those who were about to die. But you, I shall permit to leave with the knowledge. A gift, to the only person ever to push me so far in battle.”
And then the shhf, shhf started again, coming ever closer.
If I didn’t teleport out of there, he was going to finish me off. I had one piece of manatite left. And I definitely didn’t have enough MP personally to even use Teleport. If I was going to get home, I would have to burn this crystal.
“Hey,” I called to the Demon King, “are you planning to head right back from here? Just remember, if you go back to the castle, my friends will probably be waiting for you. I’m sure it’s been long enough for them to deal with your bodyguards.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” he replied. “Against the likes of them, my minions are probably all dead by now… So after I’ve either killed you or sent you running home, maybe I’ll just relax here for a while. Then I’ll find a few good, powerful monsters down in this dungeon to serve as my new bodyguards, and by the time I’ve had a break and returned to the castle, my daughter should be getting back with the rest of my forces in triumph.”
Shoot, I hadn’t thought about the possibility that his daughter would return at this worst of all possible moments. Maybe I should run back home, get my things ready, and then teleport back here with some adventurers from Axel.
No, that would never work. I didn’t have the MP to come back here, and I was down to my last piece of manatite. Sure, I could get some MP from one of the other adventurers with Drain Touch, but when the town was right in the middle of a battle for its very existence, could I expect anyone to come with me if I showed up begging them to defeat the Demon King with me?
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Shhf. Shhf.
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I could hear the king dragging himself closer again.
So what would happen if I went home without beating him? When my three troublesome teammates saw the Demon King show up with a fresh batch of monsters and without me, would they do what I’d told them and run home?
I could say with complete confidence: They would not do what I had told them.
Maybe I could ask the king to take them a message for me. You know, tell them that it had ended in a draw and I’d gone back home. But I guess it would be asking a lot to expect them to believe him.
And that left…
“Say, um, if I asked you to take me back to the castle with you, could I count on you to teleport us?”
“I hardly think I’m obliged to stick my neck out quite that far. But I do see a great deal of potential in you. How about you become one of my generals? That would involve me taking the liberty of putting a curse on you to ensure you couldn’t betray me, but if you’ll submit to that, I would take you back with me.”
It figured.
No, wait! I could let him put the curse on me, then just have Aqua break it, right?
No, wait… If the curse made me unable to betray him, I’d probably end up telling him all about Aqua’s powers or something.
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Shhf. Shhf.
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I sat there, listening to that sound get closer. And then I pulled out one particular item. My Adventurer’s Card, dirty and worn with long use. In my other hand, I held my last piece of manatite.
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Shhf. Shhf.
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Hrm… To be honest, I didn’t like this. This wasn’t what I was built for. Let the guys who were dying to be heroes handle this stuff. You know, someone who wanted to go down in history. Or even one of those overpowered hero types.
I was just a NEET who wanted to lay around drinking, then sleep till noon the next day; be waited on hand and foot by beautiful ladies; and generally lead a totally dissolute life. This wasn’t my bag.
“Done chanting Teleport?” the Demon King said, and I could hear his dragging leg getting closer. “I said I would let you go, but there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to hold off until the instant I actually see your miserable face.”
They’re all gonna be upset with me…
But if I didn’t do this, they were going to fly off the handle and do something stupid…again. With that thought in mind, I brought a finger to my card. The shhf, shhf was practically right next to me.
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“Hey, don’t turn that corner, okay? I want you to just listen to me for a second. Promise me you won’t get angry. We know we’ve got a draw on our hands here, right? What I want you to do is send me back to your castle first.”
I heard the leg-dragging stop abruptly.
“Just send me back, and I’ll gather up my friends and go home. You can take a rest or a breather or whatever you want. Or just come straight back to the castle. I promise we won’t lay a hand on you.”
For a moment, the dungeon grew very, very quiet. Then I heard: “Heh-heh… Ha-ha-ha! A draw? What are you talking about? I think you’re under some kind of misapprehension. You’ve lost. Letting you escape is merely a whim on my part!”
With that, the Demon King came around the corner…and stopped cold.