“Perhaps you would be so kind as to defeat the Demon King…one-on-one?”
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She was even crazier than Aqua.
“No! Nuh-uh. Noooot happening. Impossible with a capital I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E. Tell you what. Maybe I could take Mitsurugi, Yunyun, and Aqua with me to the dungeon along with the Demon King, then let Aqua buff Mitsurugi and Yunyun; then the two of them could let loose on him and then Yunyun could teleport us home. Our chances of success are waaaaay higher with a plan like that.”
I thought it was a good suggestion, but Eris shook her head. “For starters, I would assume the Demon King can use Teleport himself, so in that situation, he’d just zip right back to his castle.”
“Then wouldn’t he just do that anyway, whether we all came with him or just me?”
Eris sort of smirked. “An important part of the Demon King’s job is to face a brave adventurer in combat and be gloriously defeated. If he was to run away from a lone adventurer challenging him to a fight, he would hardly be the Demon King anymore.”
You know, I felt like I’d heard something similar before. Hadn’t Vanir or Wiz said something like that down in the dungeon? That at the end, the Demon King had to fight a brave hero in a dramatic battle and be defeated…dramatically? And that that was what made him the Demon King or something?
“Y-yeah, okay… But then wouldn’t it be better to send Mitsurugi or someone along with the Demon King? He actually wants to be a brave hero or whatever.” I hated to admit it, but in a straight fight, that guy stood a much better chance than I did.
“I really don’t think that would work. Mitsurugi only knows how to use his sword; in a dark dungeon, I don’t think he’d have a chance against the king of the demons. But you… You, Kazuma, with your plethora of skills and your ability to adapt to any situation—with you, there might actually be some hope. And besides…” She clasped her hands in front of her chest, her eyes sparkling. “A boy from the weakest class, with no distinctive abilities at all, defeating the Demon King. Doesn’t that sound way cooler?!”
What a thing to say. I guess she did have a righteous-thief thing going. Maybe she liked those manga with crazy, melodramatic plot twists or whatever.
Then, as if to give me one more push, we heard:
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“Kazuma! Kazumaaaa!”
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It was Aqua, sounding like she was on the verge of tears—definitely not quite in the spirit of our very serious discussion.
“Aw, geez. She’s always making fun of me. Why would she rely on me when it counts most?” I said, but even as I spoke, I was bracing myself to fight the Demon King.
Eris’s expression as she looked at me wasn’t that of a pure, self-serious goddess. “Well, obviously, it’s because she trusts you. I always knew you were a tsundere, Lowly Assistant. You might complain, but my senior goddess has you wrapped around her little finger.”
No, the look on her face was the same mischievous smile my “friend” often wore.
“And I always knew you were a cute one, Chief. What do you say—once I’ve gotten rid of the Demon King, will you marry me?”
“Oh, sure. But you’ll tell Megumin and Darkness for me, won’t you, Lowly Assistant?” Eris giggled, accustomed to my teasing by now, I guess.
“Shoot, really? Now, that’s the inspiration I needed to really fight. I’ll let Megumin and Darkness know right now that I’m gonna marry Chris!”
“N-no, I’m sorry, please don’t! I don’t want the two of them to get mad at you! I was just teasing you back!”
Okay, so maybe my chief, still adorably demure beneath her facade of confidence, wasn’t quite used to my teasing yet.
I grinned at how Eris was getting all bent out of shape, but we heard Aqua again:
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“Kazumaaa! Kazumaaaaa!”
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Yeesh, and just when Eris and I were having a nice moment. Did she do this stuff on purpose? I was so annoyed, the first thing I was going to do when I returned to life was chew her out.
“At this very moment, many people are fighting all over the land—in the town of Axel and in the capital, both of which are besieged by the Demon King’s forces.” Eris snapped her fingers, and the white door in front of me opened. “In Axel, the friends with whom you’ve adventured, shared drinks, laughed, and argued are resisting a brutal push by the detachment. And in the capital, a squadron of knights led by the king himself is standing shoulder to shoulder with adventurers from Japan and hand-picked forces from the Crimson Magic Clan.” She’d sounded serious to this point, but then she chuckled. “And a brave young girl who regards you as an older brother, wearing the holy armor Aigis, has joined forces with an Axis disciple and Megumin’s Crimson Magic friend to face the Demon King’s daughter in combat.”
“Say what?!” I jerked back in shock. What a thing to hear at this moment!
I didn’t know exactly what was going on, but I guess they were in big enough trouble that Iris herself had to take the field? I really wondered what the story was, why Iris had teamed up with Aigis, and who these friends of hers were. Setting aside the Axis disciple, Megumin’s Crimson Magic friend must be one of her classmates…
“The way this world works is, when the Demon King is born, monsters all over the world gradually increase in strength. And when the Demon King is felled, all monsters immediately get substantially weaker. You understand what that means, don’t you, Kazuma?”
Now, Chief, that just isn’t fair. How could I not go defeat the Demon King after hearing something like that? Well… Then again, maybe she’d told me because she knew I was already inspired to go do it. But geez, if she’d mentioned that a little sooner, maybe she would have been able to convince me more easily. Funny time to stand on principle.
“Thanks, that only makes me even more eager to go for it. If even my little sister is out there fighting, then I’d better take down the Demon King and help her.”
I started toward the door, but Eris had one more thing to say.
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“I’ve got one final parting gift for you before you head back to the mortal plane, Lowly Assistant.”
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I guess her work as a goddess was over, because she switched back to sounding like my friend Chris. She held out her hands toward me. This was great. She’d already given me a ton of buffs, but if I was going to take on the Demon King, I sure wanted every advantage I could possibly have.
“This is one bit of magic where I know I can hold my own even beside my senior goddess! In the name of the goddess of good luck, I give you my very best blessing! Blessing!”
With that very encouraging spell cast on me, I turned to go through the door for real. With my already good Luck now boosted to almost unfair levels, I was really starting to get into this.
I can do it. Maybe never before and maybe never again, but I can do it right now.
With both Aqua’s and Chris’s magic backing me up, I was ready to go.
But leave it to the densest person in any room to take a chunk out of my motivation. She hardly sounded worried at all as she said:
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“Kazuma, Kazumaaa! Come on, quick! Hurry!”
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……
I traded a look with Chris and smiled. Then I shouted into the air, “Looks like I’ve got no freakin’ choiiiiice!”
Chris grinned at the way I shouted back at Aqua. “All right. Go forth,” I heard my cherished friend—both the goddess and my chief—say from behind me, “to slay the Demon King!”
A stereotypical but perfect way to send me off. I charged through the door!