I was putting the bar behind me. Yunyun rushed to keep up. “A-Aqua, what are we supposed to do with all these tips? Are you sure about this? Everyone was so excited, and you’re just going to walk away?”
“It’s all right. Anyway, I don’t need tips. I’m not a performer; I can’t accept those. I wonder if there’s an Axis church around here. We could donate them…”
As I was looking for a church, I spotted a crowd. It looked like the villagers were gathering around a reservoir. “I wonder what’s going on over there,” Yunyun said. “It doesn’t look very good.”
“Maybe we should go see. If they’re having trouble with the water supply, I might just have a chance to shine.”
I started to head over, but Yunyun stopped me in a panic. “W-wait! I’ll go first and ask them what’s happening! I mean, Aqua, you always seem to get caught up in the worst things, and I’m sure this is another one…”
Yunyun really was the worrying type. Yet, somehow, at that moment, she looked just like Kazuma when he was begging me not to do anything silly. The whole idea left me wanting to, well, do something. At least…a little something.
“Just who do you think I am? It’ll be fine, Yunyun. When you have water trouble, you call the Axis Church! And as an Axis Arch-priest, this problem is as good as solved!”
“Aqua, I already have a terrible feeling about this! Ohhh, wait!”
I strode over to the crowd of people and said, “Are you having some kind of problem with your water? I happen to be a passing Axis Arch-priest. You know what they say: When it comes to water, think of the Axis Church! Yes, you can count on the Axis Church!”
“Th-the Axis Church!”
“Hey, is that one of those Axis believers? Better keep your distance…”
The people of the crowd greeted me with looks of awe. I wondered, though, why there were a few looks of terror among them as well.
Finally, after a lot of nudging one another with their elbows, one man stepped forward and said to me, “Ahem, as a matter of fact, the village’s reservoir is… Well, you can see it. The pond has become polluted, and some young Brutal Alligators have moved in. Those monsters produce a potent poison when defeated, so we can’t just go killing them. They hate clean water, so if you were to purify the reservoir, they would probably move out…”
“I see. Yes, you’ve got it really rough. Well, I guess I’ll be on my way.”
Yunyun grabbed my arm before I could slip away. “Aqua, where are you going?! What happened to all that confidence?!”
“Yunyun, let go of me! I have bad memories of those gators! You were right after all! I’m starting to share your feeling that this won’t go well…!”
“O-okay, okay, just don’t run so fast, you’ll tri— Oh!”
““““Oh!””””
When Yunyun let go of me, I immediately went tumbling right into the reservoir.
“Aqua, I’m so sorry! I’ll pull you out, just— Ahhh! The Brutal Alligators are coming right for you! Hold on—this is an emergency, so I’ll prioritize eliminating the monsters!”
“P-please don’t do that! We’d be grateful to be rid of them, but what will happen to our precious water supply? We’ll be done for!”
“H-he’s right! Everyone, put your heads together! Let’s think of something! I’ve got it! Bring a pole of some kind! We’ll pull that young lady out of there!”
While the crowd held Yunyun back, the alligators were making a beeline for me in the water…
“I wish you’d skip the committee and either pull me out or get rid of these things! Why do alligators like me so much anyway?!”
The water in the surprisingly deep reservoir came up to my chest, and the alligators were closing in fast.
When I looked, though, I saw the water around me becoming pure. And these alligators were supposed to hate clean water. In other words, they must have seen me with my water-purification abilities and known I was an enemy…!
Faced with the oncoming gators, I cried out to a NEET who couldn’t possibly have been there.
“Waaaaaahhh! It’s all my fault for leaving home! I’m sorry! Just saaaave me, Kazumaaaaa!”
✦ ✦ ✦
Everything was going smoothly. So smoothly, I found myself wondering how we’d ever run into so many problems in the past. Sure, having Zesta there as a monster repellent was part of it, but I think an even bigger part was the absence of a certain walking troublemaker.
In every little village we stopped in, Zesta wanted to join me in the bath or sleep in the same room as me, but other than the little bouts of sexual harassment he aimed at the three of us, our trip was essentially problem-free.
Along the way, we encountered a harpy, a werewolf, and even a lamia and a centaur. I finally got used to the madness that gripped Zesta each time we encountered one of these creatures; he’d go chasing after them, and they would run away. Just about the time I was starting to wonder whether the Axis Church was the true enemy we should be seeking to destroy, we arrived at a certain small village.
Maybe it doubled as a frontline outpost against the Demon King’s army, because it was laid out like a fortress. The inhabitants were all armed, and that special charge in the air that you only find on the front lines was…
“I am curious about this village. It seems rather cozy. And I don’t sense a hint of nervousness, do you?”
…that special charge was nowhere to be found.
“Yeah, I wonder what’s up. You’d think they could afford to be a little more cautious. A village this small, it could get attacked anytime.”
That was when we heard someone laughing, along with a conversation that seemed designed to answer our question.
“My goodness, that priest was something else! Almost like a goddess!”
“That’s so true! Who would have imagined that she could purify our only water source just by throwing herself into it?! You don’t see many people like her these days—people who have really got it together!”
………
“Um, excuse me, could you tell me more about what you were just talking about?” I asked the two of them, trying to act nonchalant. They looked suspicious for a second, but when they saw I was dressed like an adventurer, they relaxed.
“Thing is, the village’s reservoir had gotten so polluted that some Brutal Alligators had moved in. But a very beautiful priest happened by, and she flung herself in front of the awful creatures to purify the water.”
A very beautiful priest who nearly sacrificed herself…?
“Oh. Must have been someone else.”
“I agree. We do not know any priests as impressive as that.”
“Mm, definitely not. No question.”
“I-if you insist on bad-mouthing our deity, you’ll incur divine wrath, you know,” Zesta interjected, sweating at the way we were all so sure it wasn’t her.
That was when the other guy said, “She was an Axis priest with blue hair. The way she threw herself into the reservoir, it was almost like she’d stumbled and fallen, and her voice, it was almost like she was screaming, but the water was purified as we watched…”
“That’s definitely Aqua. She fell in.”
“It is certainly Aqua.”
“Yeah, that’s Aqua. No question.”
“You’re all— No, you know what? I won’t say anything more…” Zesta was giving us a rather strange look while I tried to ascertain the whereabouts of the idiot who had fallen in the pond.
“Oh, the priest? She’s… Well, we warned her it was dangerous and told her not to go, but she and some friends set off for the Demon King’s castle. That was several hours ago now.”
“““Several hours…?!”””
We’d caught her!
Wait…several hours?
We’d almost caught her! Just a little farther!
I could barely hide the joy welling up within me…
“H-hey, what? What are you two grinning at?”
“Nothing. You just looked very happy. Lately, there’s been no end to your quips, bad attitude, and annoyance, and I simply wondered if things might at last go back to normal.”
“Oh-ho, better back off, Megumin. You know he can never admit how he feels. You might just make him turn all prickly again.”
For a brief second, I considered stealing their panties right then and there and giving them to Zesta to thank him for bringing us this far, but I didn’t have the time to waste.
“Okay, when we get back to Axel, Megumin, you’re forbidden from using Explosion for three days; I’m going to use Drain Touch on you constantly to keep you from doing it. And, Darkness, I’m going to occasionally change the oil you use to polish your armor for tempura oil. All right, let’s get going, and fast!”
“K-K-K-Kazuma?! You’re joking, right? You don’t have to go quite that far, do you?!”
“Y-yeah, yeah! That joke isn’t funny… It is a joke, isn’t it, Kazuma? S-say it’s a joke, please! This armor means so much to me that I’ve even put my name on it. Y-you wouldn’t really do it, would you?”