“So hey, you two—how many generals does the demon king really have, in the end? Do both of you share the same position?”
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In that case, wouldn’t they technically be the demon king’s five generals?
“Falfa and Shalsha are being treated as just one general together,” said Falfa.
“Two of us means twice the fun,” said Shalsha. “But it causes some friction, too. Whenever we get treats, we have to split them and only get half as much as we should each.”
You didn’t have to tell us the downsides of the arrangement, Shalsha! It’s fine to skip that part!
Anyway, I’d found myself in something of a dilemma.
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“I don’t want to fight you two! Why’d you have to get cast as the demon king’s generals?! This training program is the worst!”
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I sheathed my sword on the spot.
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“Hmm—fighting my girls may be beyond me, as well…”
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And Beelzebub took a step backward, too!
“Hold up—don’t call them your girls! And don’t you dare try to use not wanting to fight them as a chance to play yourself up as their mother!”
“How dare that dastardly demon king! Making a mother fight her daughters is a monstrous thing to do!”
“Stop it! I’ll smack you down with one of my spells if you don’t cut that out right now, so help me!”
Suddenly, the boss fight was the last thing on our minds.
“Falfa didn’t even cast confusion magic on them, and they’re fighting each other anyway!”
“Their lack of teamwork is astonishing. Shalsha wonders how they made it this far.”
And now Falfa and Shalsha are disappointed in us! There’s no solidarity in this party at all, is there?
“We’ve no choice! The three of us who remain will overcome this trial on our own! This is not reality! Endure, and push through!” Laika shouted. She was clearly resolved, but it wasn’t going to be quite that easy.
Wynona tossed her sword to the ground.
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“I could never possibly turn my blade against my sisters. I choose to admit defeat!”
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“Could it be running into Falfa and Shalsha is all it takes to put this party in checkmate?!”
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Looks like Laika’s finally caught on to our greatest weakness.
Even Pecora muttered, “Well, this isn’t happening,” and raised her hands in a gesture of defeat. She and Laika didn’t seem as opposed to fighting my daughters as the rest of us were, but they weren’t exactly excited about it, either, and they certainly weren’t about to carry the fight on their own.
“Come on, try it! Come at us with everything you have! ”
“To hold back against us would be gravely impolite. You must meet all challengers with your full ability.”
Our foes, on the other hand, were as motivated as could be.
What am I even supposed to do here? The battle hasn’t started, and we’ve already been driven to the brink! Maybe I should just let us get wiped out once, then revisit this whole mess from the top…?
Just then, however, an unexpected visitor flew onto the scene!
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“Pecora! Everyone! You can’t give up now!”
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Wait, that sprite—isn’t that Rosalie?!
Rosalie flew straight into Falfa and Shalsha, plowing into them and knocking them—plus herself—to the floor in a heap.
“Heh! Looks like I’m taking you two with me,” Rosalie muttered.
“Aww, we lost! ” said Falfa.
“What a shame,” said Shalsha. “However, you’ll never foil the demon king’s plans.”
The whole thing was very anticlimactic, but apparently, Rosalie had sacrificed herself to take down the demon king’s general. I had to wonder, though: Just who was Rosalie supposed to be? That was the first time we’d seen her throughout the whole game—we hadn’t even met.
That’s when Pecora sprinted over to Rosalie’s side.
“It’s you! You’re my elder brother, aren’t you?!”
Oh! So this is where that part of Pecora’s backstory’s coming into play!
“That’s right, Pecora,” said Rosalie. “Your brother’s been fighting the demon king this whole time!”
“Brother, you’re alive! I’m so moved…,” said Pecora. She was so into her role she’d actually started crying.
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Kinda confusing to have her still-living brother be played by a ghost, though!
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“I’m glad I got to see your face one last time before the end…but this is it. It’s time for us to say goodbye,” said Rosalie.
“Brother, no! You can’t die!”
Again, the fact she’s already dead is making this really hard to follow!
Rosalie, Falfa, and Shalsha started flashing for a moment, then blinked out of existence.
“I swear to you, elder brother: I’ll defeat the demon king and the elder god, and bring peace to the world in your stead!” Pecora said, fist clenched tightly with a powerful resolve.
Beelzebub clapped a hand on my shoulder, then leaned in to whisper in my ear.
“If her brother was fighting the demon king this whole time, then why hadn’t he managed to defeat a single boss up until now? The sages would have said something about him if he had, but they didn’t so much as mention him.”
“Nitpicking the little details here is a losing battle…though considering how many little details there are to nitpick, I guess I can’t blame you.”
The fact that Pecora was the only person throwing herself into her role just made all the inconsistencies stand out even more.
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We made it to the second of the four generals with ease. This time, we found ourselves facing off against Fighsly.
“Heh-heh-heh! You humans have no idea how to provide the sort of service that keeps customers coming back time after time. That’s why you’ll never defeat the demon lord!”
Fighsly spent a while rambling about business and finance until Beelzebub the cleric cast an instant death spell, oneshotting her and winning the battle.
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The third of the four generals was Misjantie.
“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Let me guess: You’re the sort of heroes who’re always talking about love and peace, aren’t you, man?! Well, that’s not good enough! You need love, peace, and money to save the world! If you don’t have money, then all the good vibes you pour into your quest are bogus, man!”
Okay, these generals are definitely going way off script!
Anyway, Misjantie turned out to have a critical weakness to fire magic, so we beat her easily.
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The last of the four generals was the Witch of the Grotto, Eno.
“I intend to overthrow the demon king and claim the throne for myself. I’ll seize the foundations the demon king has built up and turn them into something truly spectacular. The idea that the title of demon king must be handed down in the same family for generations on end has no place in the modern era!”
I know having one of the demon king’s executives turn traitor is a whole trope, but this doesn’t feel quite right to me!
Eno proved highly resistant to magical attacks, so we just beat her up instead. Beelzebub had our healing totally locked down, so we were more or less back to full health the instant Eno dealt any damage to us.
“Battles are a joke if you know you’ll be able to stop at an inn and fully recover afterwards! I can use all the magic I want without a care in the world!” Beelzebub declared after it was over.
Yeah, it really is nice we don’t have to worry about conserving MP in these boss fights. Eno had taken a bit longer to beat than the other generals, but it still hadn’t been a struggle by any means. In fact, Laika’s ultimate skill had proven so overpowered, it could take out one of the generals in five or six hits on its own.
“Ugh… How could I lose…?” said Eno. “Well, fine… If your goal is to defeat the demon king, then do it. I can work with that…”
Can you? Can you, really?
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Once our battle with Eno was over, the ground started shaking so violently, I wondered if it was an earthquake.
“Huh? What’s going on?!” I yelped.
“Now that we four generals have been defeated, the barrier protecting the demon king’s castle has been dispelled. We’re feeling the aftershock,” Eno explained. “I do hope you’ll defeat the demon king in my place…”
All right, this game’s climax feels like it’s right around the corner now! We’ve got a demon king to take down!
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The route through the demon king’s castle ended up being really complex, and getting to the end took quite some time, but we steadily made our way through the map. Of course, the fact that our overly cautious healer insisted we return to fully heal in town after every single floor certainly didn’t speed the process up. Our expedition ended up taking several trips as a result…
“Okay, but seriously, why bother going back? We still have plenty of resources!”
“Too many resources is just the right amount. When you push yourself to your limits without caution, ’tis only a matter of time before disaster strikes and ruins you! I’ve seen many a governmental agency travel that path! Every bit of insurance you can give yourself is worth it!”
In the end, the burdens Beelzebub bore as a government official were too weighty for my commoner’s mind to deal with, and I gave in to her way of doing things. Our victory was assured as a result, of course, but the pacing of our adventure dragged like nothing else…