It’s super hard to take it seriously when a slime tells you it’s a human!
I understood how Smarsly was talking to me after a moment of reflection, though. This was both a dream and a game at the same time, so why not?
“You have made your courage plain to see,” said Smarsly. “Now then—when two heroes present themselves, there’s supposed to be an event where we have them fight each other to demonstrate the true meaning of heroism, but seeing as only one of the heroes has made it here, we’ll be skipping over that bit.”
“So you really were going to pick one of us!”
Apparently, the decision of which of us would come here—which we’d made very casually—had actually been a super important one.
“Now then, we will bestow upon you your ultimate spells and techniques. Use them to put an end to the foul designs of the demon king and the elder god!”
A widow appeared in my field of view with the words “Azusa learned her ultimate spell: Meteormeteor!” written on it. I immediately assumed it was some sort of explosion-based spell. It seemed Beelzebub and Pecora had learned similar abilities, as well.
“So are Moryake and… I mean, are the other two sages going to teach us something, too?” I asked. I figured I should hear them out as well, at least.
“Your stats in this game level up based on the number of times you use each available command in battle,” said Moryake. “Using ‘Defend,’ for instance, levels up your defense stat. However, if you select ‘Defend,’ then cancel that selection immediately and attack or cast a spell instead, the system will still think you defended that turn and give you the associated stat bonus.”
“You definitely taught me something, all right, but that was forbidden knowledge if I’ve ever heard it!”
“Using this technique will allow you to significantly reduce the damage you take from enemy attacks. That said, the moment you input the ‘Defend’ command for the last member in your party, all your selected actions will be locked in, so they won’t be able to take advantage of the exploit.”
I’ll admit that would be very beneficial, but it’s also way too meta, so I’ll just ignore it.
I decided to talk to Miyu next.
“There’s a ring in this game that’s, like, super plot important? So it’s supposed to be marked as an essential item so you can’t sell it or throw it out and all, but one of the devs, like, screwed up and stuff, so you can totes sell it anyway! You won’t be able to beat the game if you do that, so you’ll just have to reset! Watch out, ’kay? It’s, like, such a major drag, omigod!”
“Okay, but wait—if you’re programmed to tell me about that, then doesn’t it mean the devs noticed the bug while the game was still in development? Couldn’t they have, I dunno, fixed it?!”
“Nope-nope! We’re not programmed to say anything—we’re just saying whatever we want! I was just, like, messing around to kill time, so I found that bug myself just a moment ago.”
Okay, so I guess the whole “only saying one thing over and over” thing doesn’t apply to these three.
Just then, Smarsly approached me again.
“Oh, that’s right! I’ve heard tell a nearby village was attacked by monsters. I wonder what’s become of them…?”
Looks like making it to the sages’ island triggered an event!
“Oh no, this is terrible! We should hurry back!” Pecora exclaimed, hopping anxiously as she urged us to get a move on.
“Agreed. We have to go save Laika and Wynona! Once all five of us are back together, we can take the fight to the monstrous army and send them packing!”
Now that we have our ultimate spells, we’ll be able to wipe them out no problem!
“In regard to that matter—we shall provide you our aid,” Moryake said as she stepped over to me.
“So the two of you will help as well? I can’t guarantee any of us will survive the endeavor,” added Smarsly.
“It’s time for us sages to finally take action!” Miyu concluded.
Oh, this must be one of those parts where you get a few temporary party members! Now that’s an exciting turn!
“Plus, now that the barrier’s been dispelled, I would really like to get off this island for a time. Being trapped here for so very long was terribly boring,” said Moryake.
“Wait, the sages couldn’t leave this whole time?! Didn’t you guys put that barrier up yourselves?!”
Miyu waved a hand in the air, denying my assumption. “Nah, that’s not it! It’s just the game was set up to not let us leave. Like, for real, this place has been crazy cramped!”
Can I really trust any magic and abilities from sages like these? Will I be okay the rest of the game…?
In any case, it was time for us to head back to the village…in theory.
“My hero, look! There’s a store over there!”
In practice, we were instantly distracted as Pecora discovered a building on the island. Considering this was a video game, we couldn’t just ignore it. We took a look inside and found a number of shops were set up within.
First up was a shop run by a naga who looked suspiciously like Sorya.
“We sell the ultimate equipment for every class except for hero here,” she said. “If you ever have any spare money on hand, I’d recommend you come look through my wares.”
Yikes, that was close! This was one of those buildings we’d end up really regretting not looking into!
I couldn’t really tell what the next store was supposed to be selling. It was run by a shopkeeper who looked a lot like Canhein the phantom thief.
“Wah-ha-ha! If you find any of the artifacts left behind by Marquis Macosia the Sore Loser that are scattered throughout the world, bring them here! I’ll trade you rare items for every artifact you bring to me!”
“We’re in a dream, and you’re still collecting those things?!”
“Marquis Macosia the Sore Loser’s artifacts are hidden all over the place, after all! You might find one in a vase, or at the bottom of a well. You should make a habit of searching for them, anywhere and everywhere!”
If somebody threw one of those down a well, isn’t that a sign they were treating it like literal trash…? Anyway, we should come back and check this place out again once we’ve dealt with the crisis at hand.