A moment later, Halkara strolled back into the dining room with a big smile on her face—
“I brought the mimic, Madame Teacher!”
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—and the mimic riding on her head, attached with its teeth!
Actually, maybe “riding” isn’t the right word for that… It’s more like it’s gnawing on her?
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“Oh, geez, are you okay?! It sure doesn’t look like it! And why are you smiling?!” This isn’t a situation that calls for a smile, no matter how you look at it! I’m witnessing a mauling in real time, for crying out loud!
“Oh, it just has so much pent-up energy it can’t stay still, see? I’m sure that means it’ll enjoy some time to romp around outside!” said Halkara.
“That’s really not the problem here! Doesn’t that hurt?! Are you just bearing the pain, or something?!”
“Ha-ha-ha! Well, sure, it hurts a little, but I’m used to it! My family kept dogs, cats, deer, and even wolves back when I lived with them in the Wellbranch Marquessate in Hrant, and they used to bite me all the time!”
“That’s not the sort of thing you should get used to! Healing, healing!”
I chanted a healing spell as quickly as I could, and Halkara’s injuries vanished. Thankfully, they weren’t very serious, which made sense—even if she was used to getting bitten.
I couldn’t imagine Halkara smiling through anything truly life-threatening.
There was just one little problem.
✦ ✦ ✦
The mimic was still firmly attached to Halkara’s head.
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“Okay, you need to get that thing off you, pronto,” I said. This is making me remember some Halloween costumes I saw back in the day.
“Oh, no, it’s fine! Its teeth aren’t digging into me at all anymore, so I’m totally calm and comfortable,” said Halkara.
“Well, I’m not calm or comfortable just watching you!”
For the time being, I pried the mimic off Halkara and set it on the floor. It opened its lid just enough to stick its tongue out, then started hopping in place. It didn’t seem to care about keeping up its treasure chest disguise when it knew the people around it.
I guess that makes sense. It’s like how a spy wouldn’t bother holding their breath and staying hidden if they knew their location was already compromised. Looking at it now, maybe Halkara’s right—it does seem like it might be surprisingly energetic.
“I know it’s night and all, but we might as well try taking it for a walk right now,” I said. “You have work tomorrow, so by the time you’re back and ready to go, it’ll be dark again anyway.”
“True enough! I’ll go ahead and bring it out,” said Halkara.
Halkara stepped right outside, carrying the mimic in her arms. She could be pretty proactive when she decided to be. I followed along after her and quickly found by the time I got outside, the mimic had already sunk its teeth into her head again.
“Oh my! It really seems to like my head, doesn’t it? I didn’t realize it was this fond of me!”
“Nope! Cut it out! We want it to be fond of you as a person, not as a snack!”
Once again, I yanked the mimic off Halkara’s head. I set it on the ground, and with a hop, a skip, and a bounce, gaining a little height with each jump…it vaulted up and bit onto her all over again!
“Hmm—I wonder if my hair just smells nice, maybe? I’ve heard some women smell naturally citrusy, after all!”
“This is not the time, Halkara!”
This is weird, right? Like, really weird! If anyone happens to be walking around at night and sees this from a distance, they’re liable to mistake her for something way scarier than a mimic!
Anyway, Halkara sure is tough in all the weirdest ways. Is she just really soft when it comes to animals, or something?
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“That does it—no more walks until you learn to stop biting Halkara!”
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I held the mimic in the air as I scolded it. I was afraid if I let it go, it would go right back to biting her head again.
“All right! I already have an idea for how to deal with this! I think I should be able to manage something tomorrow,” Halkara said in a tone so confident, you’d never think she’d had teeth in her head just moments before. In fact, she seemed so bold about all this that for a moment, I actually wondered if she’d been put under some sort of all-powerful defensive spell.
“Wait, tomorrow?” I said. “Considering how it’s acted so far, don’t you think that’s a little optimistic? I guess it might be possible if you take the day off work…”
“Oh, no, I’ll be going in to work, as usual! The fact I have work tomorrow is convenient for my plan, actually.”
“Not sure what that means, but I’m just gonna let you know now that we’re absolutely not drugging the mimic into submission.”
I didn’t think Halkara would actually do that, considering she was pretty taken with the mimic, but I still wanted to head off that line of thought before it could cause any problems.
“Oh, I’d never! Don’t worry—my plan won’t have any effect on the mimic at all, and it’s sure to keep me absolutely safe!” Halkara declared.
“That sounds perfect, if you can actually pull it off. I’ll leave it up to you, I guess.”
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The next day, Halkara got up earlier than usual to head out for Halkara Pharmaceuticals’ factory, returning home later on that evening. We had dinner, as usual, and the moment we finished, she stood up from her seat and left the room. That wasn’t exactly a major event or anything, but it was pretty unusual for her. Normally, she’d take her time sipping a drink, or at least just hanging out in the dining room with the rest of us.
“I wonder if she’s going to bring the mimic out…?” I muttered.
“Is something the matter with it, Lady Azusa?” asked Laika.
I quickly explained everything that had happened the night before.
“I see. So she told you that she had a good idea that would prevent her from being bitten?”
“Yeah, though to be honest, I’m not super convinced it’s going to work. It’s not like she’ll be in any serious danger either way, at least, so I thought I might as well let her give it a try.”
Just as I was wrapping up my explanation…
“All right, everyone! This should do the trick, don’t you think?”
…Halkara returned to the living room with a helmet on her head. The mimic, meanwhile, was perched atop the helmet, gnawing on it.
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Oh, so her plan is armored defense!
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“All right, I’ll admit it: That won’t harm the mimic at all, and it’ll keep you safe! You were right!”
Now that’s a solution I never would’ve even dreamed of!
The rest of my family looked just as dumbstruck as I felt.
“You should be careful about wearing old helmets! You never know when one of those might have a nasty curse on it,” said Rosalie, who was the one person present with a uniquely skewed perspective on the issue.
Setting any potential curses aside for now… “Looks like it’s not hurting you at all anymore, huh? Although…I can’t really say this is solving the fundamental problem, here…,” I said. The mimic was still just as dedicated to biting her head as ever, after all.
“That’s true,” said Laika, hand pressed to her chin as she considered the problem. “If it ever ends up anywhere in the vicinity of Flatta, then it might try to bite one of the townspeople. It would probably be best not to take it anywhere near populated areas…”
“Yeah. That’s definitely the big problem,” I said. “And even if it doesn’t attack any of the townsfolk, they probably wouldn’t like seeing it biting Halkara, so I’d rather not get anywhere near Flatta with it regardless.”
I can’t have any rumors about the house in the highlands being full of weirdos spreading, after all.