You heard that right: I made a living by killing slimes for three hundred years.
When it came to defeating the little blobs, I had a fair bit of confidence.
I knew exactly where to stab them with my knife to finish them on the first attack.
Frankly, I could kill them unarmed with my bare hands or my feet. I could kill them with a forehead flick. I figured my level had probably gone up a bit.
Well, one day, I knocked on the door of the guild, as I always did. I needed to exchange my magic stones.
I took my spoils to the female staff member, who was a descendant of Natalie’s, several generations removed. She’d started working here only recently, and I didn’t know her name yet.
“Good afternoon.”
“Oh, great Witch of the Highlands!”
By now, everyone knew me as “the Witch of the Highlands.”
Having been alive for three centuries, I was the most knowledgeable about the village’s history.
“Here are today’s magic stones. Twenty-six slimes’ worth.”
“Yes, indeed they are. That’s fifty-two hundred gold, then.”
I put the money in my leather bag.
“Oh, that’s right. Great Witch of the Highlands, there’s something I’ve been wondering about.”
“Hmm? What’s up?”
“How strong are you, exactly?”
“Strong? In combat, you mean? I don’t know, or, well, I doubt it’s anything impressive.”
I’d registered as an adventurer so I could get money for magic stones, but I’d never actually adventured. After all, adventuring meant risking your life. A leisurely, peaceful life suited me better.
The employee brought out the old slate.
“Um, would it be all right if I checked your status?”
“My status? You know, I don’t think I’ve seen it at all in the past three hundred years.”
I hadn’t needed to. In this area, monster just meant slime. I’d never actually sensed that I was leveling up, either.
That said, claiming that I’d only ever fought slimes would be a lie.
In the forest, there were horned rabbits. Big caterpillars, too. Those monsters were still weak, though, and my knife brought me easy victories.
That knife might have been specially made. I’d been using it for three centuries at this point, and there were still no nicks in the blade.
If you actually gave it some thought, that was astonishing. This thing could be worth a fortune. Not that I’d sell an item that had taken such good care of me for thirty decades.
“You’ve watched over Flatta for so long, great Witch of the Highlands! I believe your status is probably astronomical as a result. I want to know what it is, so…!”
The young staff member’s eyes were brimming with fervent expectation.
It’s embarrassing to say this myself, but the people of Flatta respected me.
True, I gave them a hand whenever the village was in trouble. Over the centuries, several plagues had swept through, and every time, I’d whipped up herbal curatives in bulk, created strengthening tinctures, and worked hard to ensure there were no deaths.
In addition, as I’d watched over the village from the highlands since before its current inhabitants were born, they seemed to view me as some sort of guardian deity.
As far as I was concerned, I was simply enjoying my life of R & R, which made that reverence feel excessive and uncomfortable.
“I don’t mind if you check my status, but I’m just a long-lived witch who knows a thing or two about herbalism. I hope you’re not expecting it to look like some legendary adventurer’s.”
“Oh, you’re too modest. It may not seem impressive to you, but you’re judging by your own standards, aren’t you?”
“Well, go ahead and look. It’s going to be normal.”
I put my hand on the slate.
If this had been Japan, the environment would probably have changed drastically over three hundred years, but changes in this world were small. The slate was still functional and in use. Well, its ability to display statuses felt high tech to me, but anyway.
“……Huh?”
Now, that’s a strange number…
“Uh, you know, I bet the slate’s broken. I mean, it’s saying ‘level 99,’ so…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Great Witch, you’re way, way too stroooooooong!!!!!!!” The receptionist was so shocked I thought she might collapse. “That’s insane! You have to be the strongest in the world!”
“I’m telling you, that rock’s broken. All I’ve fought are slimes, you know? How could I actually have almost eleven million experience points?”
“Let’s see… You’ve killed slimes for three hundred years, three hundred sixty-five days a year, without skipping a day, correct? Of course, I don’t know about what happened long ago, so I’m extrapolating from what I’ve heard from the village elders, but…”
Incidentally, this world has a proper sun and moon and uses a solar calendar.
“That sounds about right. I think it’s been twenty-five slimes or so per day, on average. When I wanted to buy a grimoire or make repairs on the house or something like that, I remember going all out and plowing through a whole bunch to earn money.”
As you’d expect, after decades upon decades, the house in the mountains had been remodeled so much that it had practically been rebuilt.
“Somewhere along the way, you also picked up a special ability that increases the number of experience points you acquire. From what I hear, you haven’t traveled anywhere far away, so I think you probably got it at one of your level-ups.”
“I suppose that could be.”
Even if all I’d done was kill slime after slime, that bonus had probably boosted my level at least a little.
“That special ability increases the number of experience points you get per monster by two.”
“What, just two?”
“Well, each slime normally gives two points, so it basically doubled. And now we’ll calculate…
I think the equation would look something like that.”
“Yes, I’m following. Well, I wouldn’t have had the EXP boost from the very beginning, so this number will probably be a little high, but still…”
The twenty-five-a-day figure was a rough estimate, and if it had been more than that, the total would be higher. It wasn’t as though I’d never killed a non-slime monster, either.
“At any rate, I’ll try running a calculation with this. Ten, nine, five, zero, zero, zero, zero… Let’s see, how many thousands is that?…10,950,000!”
That’s pretty close to my 10,840,000!
“Just so you know, large dragons are said to be worth 2,500 points, so 10,840,000 is enough for 4,380 of them.”
“A dragon slayer extraordinaire!”
“It’s the same as if you’d killed fourteen point six dragons per year…”
After putting it in dragon terms, I began to suspect I’d done something extraordinary.
“This figure isn’t a slate error. I knew it! Great Witch of the Highlands, you really are a mighty and powerful witch!”
I was stunned. I couldn’t believe that number.
I had sensed, intuitively, that I was growing.
After all, my physical body stayed seventeen, and only my experience grew.
That said, to think it would reach such a ludicrous number…
No. More importantly…
…there’d be trouble if I couldn’t keep this under wraps.
They say that slow and steady wins the race, but this was too much winning. People might start asking for far more than just help around the village. For example: “A dragon has appeared at such-and-such a place. Go slay it.”
I wouldn’t mind, if it was just once. I could handle a single dragon.
However, if I did it even one time, I’d have no choice but to go slay dragons elsewhere. They’d be like, “You killed their dragon; why can’t you kill ours?”
And if that happened, I could kiss my laid-back life good-bye.
My days would be filled with adventure, packed with hard labor from morning till night. In the end, I’d work myself to death.
Not that. Anything but that…
I’d have to keep the rumors from spreading.
“Um, miss, could you remind me of your name?”
“It’s Natalie.”
What, Natalie?! Impossible! Is she immortal, too? —Probably not.
The name wasn’t super-unique. The two just happened to share it, that’s all.
The name Masayuki was used during Japan’s Warring States period, and it’s still around in the current Heisei era, too.
“Natalie, keep this just between us, please. After all, a status is like a personal secret. You wouldn’t want people gossiping about your bust size, would you?”
“I’m fairly secure in my bust size.”
Show-off.
Shoot, so she doesn’t have a complex about her bust… She’s definitely bigger than I am. Leveling up doesn’t seem to change your cup size, and my figure’s been the same for three hundred years.
Let’s stop talking about this…
“In any case, don’t tell anyone about my status. That’s all right, isn’t it?”
“I understand. I’ll take care not to let word get out that you’re the most powerful of all, great Witch! I’d love to sing your praises to everyone, but as a resident of this village, I would never betray you!”
The prestige of the highland witch came through for me.
Good, very good. If I can get her to stay quiet, this’ll all work out.
In three hundred years, the only one who’d ever taken an interest in my status was this woman, Natalie.
In other words, my peaceful days could very well last for another several centuries! Yeah, let’s do that!
Relieved, I returned to my house in the highlands. To test whether that status was real, I used an Ice and Snow spell on a waterfall in the forest.
I still didn’t believe it. After all, I’d felt almost nothing to suggest I’d gotten stronger.
“Freeze everything! Hiyaaah!”
The waterfall froze solid.
“Guess you could call that ‘solid’ proof…”