✦ ✦ ✦
“Oh, how delightful!”
Valburga accepted Saji’s challenge—and their midair showdown was underway!
I wished I could lend a hand, but there were still plenty of those mass-produced Evil Dragons hanging around. I had to focus on eliminating them once and for all!
But at that moment—
“—! That was Fafnir’s aura!” Asia shouted across the battlefield. “Ddraig and the others must also be back from the Sacred Gear!”
That made sense! If Vritra had returned, the others probably had as well.
My jewel started flashing. I could feel Ddraig’s consciousness pouring in!
“Hey. I’m back, Partner.”
Whoa! You kept us waiting! How did it go?
“Leave it to me. I’ve got this under control. We can talk once we get out of this mess.”
Got it! Then let’s get this sorted quickly!
Asia, meanwhile, had activated a Dragon Gate to summon Fafnir!
“Answer my call, O Golden King. Creep upon the earth and receive my offering. Come out! Gigantis Dragon Fafnir!”
The gate exploded in light as she finished the summoning incantation, and a golden aura poured forth.
Out popped Fafnir—sporting a chef’s hat?! H-hold on! Why on earth was he wearing that?!
All at once, an upbeat tune started playing in the background, like something ripped straight from a daytime cooking show.
Only then did Fafnir speak up. “Hello, and welcome back to Fafnir’s Three-Minute Meals.”
Was he out of his mind?! But all at once, a kitchen popped up out of nowhere! I couldn’t even think of a comeback! All I could do was watch as he continued talking.
“Today’s dish is Diablo-Style Fried Mighty Panties.”
…Leaving the rest of us watching on speechless, a projection with a list of ingredients appeared beside him.
“This is what you’ll need.”
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Diablo-Style Fried Mighty Panties
Ingredients
Lil’ Asia’s mighty panties, to taste
1 onion, finely chopped
1 clove of garlic, minced
Olive oil
1 red chili pepper, minced
Salt and pepper, to taste
Karaage coating mix
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…? I couldn’t keep up! Wh-what was he trying to do?! Something bizarre was about to happen—I could see that—but come on! This was way too much over the top!
“…?”
“…?”
“…?”
“…?”
Question marks all but hovered above us. Even the mass-produced Evil Dragons were tilting their heads in confusion! Seriously?! Was this a ploy to get them to stop attacking?!
Fafnir stood in the middle of the kitchen, his eyes sparkling as he started cutting the prepared ingredients.
“First, finely chop all the ingredients except for the mighty panties.”
Next, he turned to Asia. “Lil’ Asia. Mighty panties, please.”
“Y-yes…,” she murmured reluctantly.
“The freshest ingredients are always the best. Now, after giving the mighty panties a good sniff, we dust them with the flour mix.”
…Right in front of us, he shoved his face into the panties and then covered them with flour—before tossing them into a pot of oil!
“Fry them at high temperature until crispy.”
The sound of sizzling oil echoed pleasantly across the battlefield. With the exception of Saji and Valburga, everyone ground to a halt, watching on awestruck. A few of the mass-produced Evil Dragon were even nodding their heads in approval! What was going on here?! Was this cooking show enchanting our opponents or something?!
At just the right moment, Fafnir carefully retrieved the panties from the frying pan, presenting them on a plate alongside the ingredients he had prepared earlier.
Then, with a proud grin, he declared, “It’s ready. My very own Diablo-Style Fried Mighty Panties.”
More than a few of the Evil Dragons broke into a round of applause!
As for Fafnir—he placed the plate of Diablo-Style Fried Mighty Panties right in front of Asia!
“Let’s eat. Nom-nom!” He took a bite, chewed it a few times, then said, “Never change, Lil’ Asia.”
Some of the Evil Dragons were bawling their eyes out! What in the world was going on? How did today’s events bring us here of all places?!
Asia collapsed backward, Xenovia rushing to hold her up!
“Asia! Hang in there! You have to stay strong!”
“…I want to be a crab.”
“No, Asia! You’re thinking about the TV show I Want to Be a Shellfish!”
“Impressive, Xenovia!” Irina nodded. “You’re so knowledgeable! As expected from an honor student with scores in the nineties!”
…
I—I didn’t quite get it, but the Evil Dragons had clearly stopped their assault. What a mysterious power Fafnir had over them!
…It was probably best not to overthink things.
Anyway, Ddraig? Did you bring the previous White Dragon Emperors around?
“…Ah, w-well, about that…”
…You’re being kind of evasive there…
“…Er. I recorded it, if you want to see for yourself… It’s not exactly something I’d recommend…”
…Just show me already.
I closed my eyes, delving into the depths of my Sacred Gear—and Ddraig started playing the footage of his encounter with the previous White Dragon Emperors.
Their faces flashed before me—all of them wearing bright, cheerful expressions.
“Greetings, current Red Dragon Emperor. We’re the residual thoughts of past White Dragon Emperors.”
They seemed really upbeat! Ddraig and the others must have succeeded in bringing them around after all!
“We sincerely deplore a great many actions you’ve taken.”
Ah, sorry about that! I had to own up to it. Then again, this was only a recording, so they couldn’t see my apology.
“That’s why we established a support group, the Red Dragon Emperor Victims’ Association… But it seems we underestimated this new world.”
Did that mean they were dissolving the group? Much appreciated!
I breathed a sigh of relief, when a particularly fearsome man spoke up, “Fafnir has led us to the greatest of truths.”
…
Okay, that name made me more than a little anxious…
“Yes—we have learned the splendor of panties.”
…
…
I was lost for words, my mind grinding to a halt.
Nonetheless, the former White Dragon Emperor continued with an enlightened look, “We all share one thing in common—a fascination with the opposite sex’s behind.”
…Yeah. I suspected as much. The former White Dragon Emperor in the jewel I had added to my armor said the same sort of thing.
“As the White Dragon Emperor, we were forced to deny our ourselves.”
“The White Dragon Emperor should not have sexual proclivities.”
“But Fafnir has shown us the ultimate treasure—Lil’ Asia’s mighty panties.”
Without warning, the former White Dragon Emperor spread what looked like a pair of Asia’s panties—holding on to them like he was clutching a sacred artifact!
“We learned that in today’s mundane world, these amazing fabric products are wrapped around the most wondrous of derrieres.”
“Their shape, function, texture—not to mention the hip line…”
“Hip line…”
“Hip line…”
“Hip line…”
The past White Dragon Emperors all echoed the words one after the next…
“It was a shocking revelation to learn how long we had been deceiving ourselves. But now we have this incredible treasure.”
“We’re told the residual thoughts of past Red Dragon Emperors faded with the words Squishy, squishy, oooooh.”
“Then let this be our declaration of reconciliation.”
The former White Dragon Emperors embraced themselves, then shouted in loud, cheerful voices.