“[Who are you?]”
✦ ✦ ✦
It was a statement that would cause certain people to despair upon hearing it.
“Oh, I see. So you’re not the Celty I know any longer.”
Izaya smiled thinly to himself. But he did not ask the questions about the human soul and the afterlife that he’d been so eager to learn. Instead, he pushed her away.
“But the thing is, I don’t have time to mess with the likes of you right now anyway.”
“[…]”
“If you don’t know who I am, get lost.”
The head was silent for a time, until it spoke again in the same manner.
“[Forget that you saw me, human.]”
✦ ✦ ✦
He watched the dullahan descend toward the foot of the building and exhaled a deep breath. Then Izaya looked up to the sky and chuckled to himself, “Oh, it’s just so laughable. There has to be a limit to stupidity.”
There was no one around to ask the meaning of this statement, just the expansive darkness of night.
✦ ✦ ✦
However, at that moment, he was aware that the shining stars that had been overhead just moments ago had vanished. The sky was entirely black, without even the reflection of the neon lights of Tokyo. As if a giant lid had just been placed over the sky.
But even that, in this moment, meant nothing to him.
✦ ✦ ✦
Izaya Orihara waited and waited.
For this moment when he would close the book on the grudge that had been abandoned for long years.
Grudge? That gives him too much credit. Does one call the instinct to smash a hateful cockroach a grudge?
He considered his “grudge” with Shizuo Heiwajima beneath the starless sky.
Shizuo would be coming to kill him very soon. He had attempted that any number of times before, of course, but this time was clearly different. What he had heard from Shizuo’s voice over the phone had not been annoyance or irritated anger, but pure, undiluted murder.
Sure, Izaya might have dropped a little forklift off a building, but he hadn’t been trying to kill Shizuo. He just didn’t mind if the guy died as a result.
And yet, Shizuo was coming to kill him. Perhaps if Vorona hadn’t gotten hurt, Shizuo wouldn’t feel such bloodlust at the moment, but if that was the case, it seemed laughable that he was ready to murder for the sake of a human being.
At the same time, Izaya felt annoyed. He couldn’t accept that this preposterous monster should be able to use his boundless violence to extinguish the fates of human lives.
✦ ✦ ✦
There was a parade happening around Mikado Ryuugamine, a procession that drew many others into its gravity.
Izaya Orihara found himself surprisingly excited about the whole thing, thinking he might catch a glimpse of a side of human nature he had never seen before.
He loved all of humanity’s actions. He wasn’t going to complain about the outcome of the festival, no matter what it ended up being. If Mikado had an abrupt change of heart and made up with Masaomi Kida without any more trouble, Izaya would respect that conclusion.
Because that would be the life Mikado Ryuugamine chose.
Life.
To live as a human.
That was all Izaya really wanted from others, at the root of it all.
When he made himself a pest, interfering in the way of life that others chose, it was just because he wanted to see their human reactions. If it resulted in their downfall or even the end of their lives, well, seeing the end points of their human lives would also be entertaining to him.
But monsters could overturn the fate of a human being. With their magical powers or supernatural strength.
And Izaya couldn’t have that.
Humans had to determine the outcome of human lives.
The forces of nature were unavoidable, but it wouldn’t be right if a being with the strength of a full typhoon were to have a human personality, act like a human, and manipulate human lives.
Izaya briefly recalled something a friend had said in the past.
“If Shizuo’s a monster, what does that make you? You’ve got differences in strength and intelligence, but you can hold your own against him, so how do you view yourself? Do you want to be the hero who defeats the monster? Or do you treat this as a territorial squabble between monsters, where you’re staking your claim to those humans?”
Izaya wondered why he would have remembered such a quote at this moment, but he was grinning before he realized what he was doing.
“You’ve got it all wrong, Shinra,” he murmured to no one in the dark. “I never held my own against him.”
Within his narrowed eyes there was a kind of resolution that hadn’t been there before.
“What I’m about to do now is a good old-fashioned monster hunt,” Izaya said, using the excuse that he had arrived at after considering dozens. “Maybe if I beat him, I’ll finally feel like I’m a human being.”
The word grudge also included the insinuation of mudslinging.
Ah yes. I suppose other people might think what I’m saying isn’t entirely fair. At this point, Izaya realized he was actually feeling rather refreshed. I’m going to erase Shizuo Heiwajima from the earth over mere dirty accusations and slander.
Was the fact that he felt better knowing this actually just a sign that he was incredibly human already? If so, he didn’t care.
As long as Shizuo Heiwajima vanished, he would be free of this shackle.
Did Izaya like humans because he was a human being himself? Or did he enjoy observing their foibles from on high, like some god? Izaya was fine with either case being the answer, but there was one thing he didn’t like.
Shizuo Heiwajima was a monster who transcended the limits of humanity. By eliminating Shizuo, Izaya might be able to see himself as a human being. All the exaggerations he had ever made might become truths.
When Namie or Shinra got snarky with him, he might be able to sincerely reply, “Of course I love myself. I am a human being, after all.” It felt strange, but he even considered it worth risking his life for the sake of that one stupid phrase.
He stood there on the silent, empty roof, wearing a vaguely human smile, thinking of the world that existed beyond his release from this accursed relationship—and came to a conclusion that would hold true, no matter what that world was.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Yeah…I love humanity.”
✦ ✦ ✦
The words melted into the starless black sky, like his last will and testament.