“Kyaaahhh! It hurts! My chest hurts!”
The next day, I tried to implement the advice Elaina had given me and have an honest talk with my teacher, Sheila.
I went to the room in the inn where my teacher was staying, checked that she was there blowing smoke out the window as usual, then dived onto the bed.
As soon as I did, I started yelling about the pain in my chest.
I tried to strike honestly and directly and make my objection to her smoking impossible to miss.
So then, how do you think my teacher reacted?
“Ah, o-oh…does it…? Your chest…hurts…?”
……
Hmm?
What’s with this weird reaction?
“What’s the matter, Miss? I feel like you’re acting a little strange.”
“I’m acting…strange…? Am I? Is that how it looks…?” my teacher said, putting on a serious air as she puffed on her pipe. “Ah, I really thought I was treating you the same as always, but, uh… I’m sorry, I don’t have much experience in that realm, so I’m not exactly comfortable…”
“Huh?”
I don’t really understand what’s going on here, but she seems troubled by something.
“Are you all right, Miss?” I asked. “If you want, I could lend you an ear.”
“Uh…no, that’s all right… It’s not something I can talk to you about.”
“Come on, now, don’t hold back.” I shoved my way over and closed the distance between us. “But maybe, in exchange for me listening to your troubles, Miss, you would take some advice from me?”
“Now I want to talk to you even less.”
“Well, if you prefer, you could just take my advice?”
“That’s awfully selfish.”
“Right, so then, I will just talk, okay? My chest hurts, Miss.”
“This really is one-sided.”
And so I spoke to her honestly, just as I had been advised to do.
The whole time I was telling her this and that, I stared at her intensely, certain that Elaina had carefully considered my intentions and managed to indirectly ask my teacher to temper the use of her pipe.
The fact that Miss Sheila seemed to have been having trouble breathing ever since we met up that day was surely proof that I was right.
I’m sure she’s already gotten a warning from Miss Fran. Elaina sure is a dependable friend!
Expecting the best, I puffed out my chest as I honestly complained to my teacher about her tobacco use.
To which my teacher responded:
“…Sorry, Saya. Right now, I’ve got my hands full with work, you see, and I don’t have the time to be dating.”
“?????”
“So listen…I can’t return your feelings.”
“????????????”
The inside of my mind started whirling at a terrifying velocity, around and around and around like a spinning top. What on earth had possibly happened to make it seem like I had just delivered a love confession to my teacher, I wondered. I turned the question over in my mind, stuck in the perplexing and somewhat awkward situation of having been somehow rejected by someone I hadn’t even been confessing my love to.
Let’s think this through in chronological order. First, there can be no doubt that this all started when I went to Elaina for advice yesterday. Elaina is very perceptive, so I’m certain she communicated my concerns to Miss Fran, for sure. By the way, when you’re passing a message from person to person, the more people it goes through, the more the substance changes bit by bit, isn’t that right? So then what happened was a transmission error? That has to be it! How totally embarrassing!
Having arrived at this conclusion, I pointed out the mistake to my teacher, clearly and directly.
“Miss, what I’m saying is that my chest hurts because of your smoking.”
Immediately after I did, the light returned to my teacher’s grave expression.
“Huh? Uh, what? You mean this?” My teacher tapped her pipe out to get rid of the ash, and she let out a white puff of relief. “That damned Fran… She almost gave me a heart attack, telling me that way!”
Just as I thought, it sounds like it was a communication failure.
My teacher had her hand on her chest.
By the way—
“Tobacco is also bad for your heart, you know.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
My teacher waved her hand dismissively.
Back to her usual self, my teacher then packed fresh leaves into her pipe and asked me, “By the way, do you know what you’re supposed to do when you’re confronted with a situation that makes your heart stop?”
After some hesitation, I answered—
“Um…pause and take a deep breath or something?”
“No, wrong.” My teacher shook her head, then held out her hand to me. “Mm.”
She was holding a gold coin.
“…Somehow, I feel like we had this same exchange yesterday.”
I stared intently at her.
Then my teacher said simply—
“I’m out of tobacco leaves, so go buy some.”
In short, she seems to be trying to tell me that when you’re confronted with a heart-stopping situation, the first thing to do is to smoke some tobacco to settle your heart down.
I see, I see.
…I knew it. She’s not interested in quitting at all.
✦ ✦ ✦
