“Listen, Orania. You must grow into a wonderful princess. That’s the only way he will love me.”
Ever since she was young, she had heard those words over and over. Orania’s mother was a woman starved for her husband’s love. She coveted and craved it beyond all else, and while it was the foundation that typical couples were built on, love from a partner was an excessive luxury to a queen.
To royals, marriage was a means of uniting households. What mattered beyond all else were logical merits—how would it benefit their family and kingdom? Political strategy was put above emotions.
Orania’s mother yearned for her husband’s love. Their marriage may have been a political one, but they were nevertheless husband and wife. And as a wife, her heart burned with desire for her husband’s affection. She had dedicated her body to carrying out her duties as a lady hailing from her noble family, yet she still wished for love, as was her natural right. Still, her wish was never granted.
Her husband was a man who treated his wife with indifference. He neither hated nor despised her; he was merely uninterested. Thus, his wife clung to a desperate idea: If she gave birth to and raised the perfect heir, her husband would surely love her.
Ever since Orania could remember, she had spent her days saddling the great burden of her mother’s expectations, even if it only lasted for a short while, and even if Orania didn’t view it as the burden it was. She was proud that her mother expected so much from her, and doing all she could to act perfectly and win her father’s praises had given her a purpose.
But those days reached a sudden end.
It was the day her mother departed—not from this world, but from her husband. On Orania’s tenth birthday, her father divorced her mother and introduced her to another noble man. The two were married, and her mother was blessed with a perfect, warm, and passionate husband.
Thus, Orania’s mother was granted the love she always wanted. It had taken her a long while, but she had finally obtained happiness, and she lived happily ever after with her new husband and their two children. She had been readily granted the love she always saw Orania as a tool for, obtaining her own happy ending.
Orania was all that was left behind, along with the dregs of her mother’s desires. When she was young, she had asked her father, “I want to become the perfect princess. What do I need to do?”
Did she need to welcome in a capable husband from a foreign land, or head off to a foreign land to marry there? If her father welcomed in a new wife who gave birth to a son, leaving was in the cards for her, but she didn’t mind. It was simply her duty as a member of the royal family.
Thus, Orania asked for her father’s guidance—she implored him for a way to live, a purpose. But his response was something she had never expected.
“Orania, you...mustn’t do anything.”
“Huh?” she blinked, unable to follow. “I don’t have to do...anything?”
“Yes. You needn’t do a thing,” he vaguely affirmed before averting his gaze. Now, Orania seemed to be the target of his disinterest.
No, that wasn’t quite right. Orania’s keen eyes had long realized that her father had never—not once—held any interest in her. And it went beyond just his daughter. The man before her was completely apathetic, not just regarding his wife and daughter, but about the entire world. He never exhibited love for his family, but he never abandoned them either, nor did he banish them from the palace. Instead, he just left them alone as he watched events flow by him. That’s what had always defined King Nestori Perla Ganudos, no matter how much she wished and pretended not to notice.
Orania had lived her life in hopes that her father would one day praise her with the attention that would bring joy to her mother. It had been her purpose, and in that very moment, her life had lost all meaning.
“You needn’t carry out any duties as a member of the royal family. No matter what you do or don’t do, it doesn’t matter. While you’ll surely become the next ruler of this nation, that doesn’t require anything from you. Just do whatever you wish.” His cold words rang in her ears.
Doesn’t that mean...you don’t need me? She kept that question to herself.
Orania was a lost child. Her compass had vanished as if it had never existed in the first place. She didn’t know how to live for herself, nor did anyone bestow her with a purpose either. She was free to do whatever she wished, and no one chastised her for her choices either. Thus, she lived a pointless life shrouded in apathy.
Eventually, a thought began to take root in her. If she didn’t have any purpose, and if there was nothing others needed from her, then why not live for fun? If no one had hopes for her—if her life was pointless—then what was the harm in living as she wished?
But though she began living for fun, she found no joy.
Why am I remembering that now...?
Orania swam frantically toward that young, drowning boy.
Why am I doing this anyway...?
Despite her thoughts, her arms still moved.
And why can’t this Visalian swim...? He’s a pirate! How does that make any sense...?
The boy desperately splashed around in an attempt to escape his fate. Had he only let his body go limp, he would have floated straight to the top. Yet he was ignorant of even that. What a stupid Visalian. His people live on the sea, yet he couldn’t even fish! Why save a pirate anyway? She could have just let him be, but her body moved on its own.
Is it because he smiled at me and said “thank you”? How stupid... Have I always been this easy to please...?
Orania didn’t know the answers to the hazy questions that formed in her head, yet when she reached her hand out to Kiryl, it was in desperation.