I know—I’ll make a house. A totally break-in-proof house.
I’ve given up on escaping from this dungeon. If I keep wandering around randomly, the only future I can imagine is some unexpected encounter leading to a dead end. Monster or human, everything is my enemy now. And I don’t mean a frenemy or a rival or anything like that. I’m talking the kind that puts your life in danger.
Besides, this place is frequented by humans. It’ll be risky to use the exit even if I do manage to find it.
I mean, if anyone discovers me, they’ll kill me. And there could be a human settlement right outside.
Which is why I made up my mind to live in this dungeon.
So anyway. If this is my new home, what do I need? Food, shelter, and clothing.
Well, I don’t think that last one is necessary for a spider. The temperature here is comfortable enough either way.
The problem is food and shelter.
Q. What is a spider’s main diet? A. Other insects.
Oof… That’s true, isn’t it? That’s what I’m gonna have to do to fill my belly.
Although, given my absurd size, I don’t think my potential prey is limited to insects. For instance, I could probably eat other monsters, or… I don’t want to think about this, but…human beings…
Really, my siblings back there started cannibalizing one another as soon as they were born, right? The giant parent spider was eating her children like it was no big deal, too, so as far as I can tell, my particular species seems to regard all living beings as potential food.
In fact, in a cave like this, it’s probably the only option. Which means if I want to eat, I’ll have to take on some other monsters and chow down.
You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, after all, and I’m gonna starve to death if I don’t eat something, no matter how gross.
At present, I do have one thing that could potentially serve as a food source.
The butchered carcass of the spider I found earlier.
The legs and fangs and stuff had been taken, but most of the main body was still there.
Well, if I eat that, I probably won’t have to worry about food for the rest of the day. If I can bring myself to eat it, that is.
Honestly, suddenly having to eat a spider is pretty extreme, and that thing was probably one of my siblings…
Both ethically and visually, I’d really rather not.
So I’m going to hold off on eating the guy for now.
Besides, even if I do take the plunge, that’ll only be a temporary solution.
Considering that I’ll be living in this dungeon from now on, I’ll have to be able to procure food on a regular basis anyway.
But if I want to eat other monsters, that means I’ll have to beat them first.
How am I supposed to just jump into combat?
A frail girl like me, who’s only ever been good at games, won’t stand a chance in a real fight.
And so I conclude that I should start by making a house.
What’s a spider without a spiderweb, right?
Spiders create webs with special viscous thread and use them to catch prey, after all.
So if this goes well, my food problem and my shelter problem will be solved all at once.
I think this cave makes for a nice location, actually.
If nothing else, it should be easy to make webs all over the place.
Without further ado, then, time to create my new home!
Carrying the corpse of my sibling on my back, I seek out a good spot where people are unlikely to bother me.
What? Why would I take it with me, you ask?
Insurance. Hopefully it won’t come to that, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Eventually, I come to a T-junction with no human footprints in sight, so I decide to set up there.
First, I’ll have to produce the thread. From my butt, I guess? I’m pretty sure that’s the general area the thread should come out of, so let’s give it a shot.
But by the time I finish the thought, I realize I’ve already produced a thread somehow. Huh? I don’t remember this stuff coming out of me…
On top of that, it’s a really long one. Oh man, does this mean I’ve been walking around with a string sticking out of my butt this whole time?
Wow, that’s so embarrassing!
Maybe it’s like when you (redacted), so you (redacted)?
Okay, forget about the fact that I made thread unconsciously for now.
Now to make a home, for real this time!
✦ ✦ ✦
Finished! I look over my work with satisfaction. A magnificent spiderweb is strung up across the cave passage, blocking the area off.
Man, did my natural instincts kick in or something? As soon as I started working, my body just moved on its own and constructed the web in the blink of an eye.
However, instead of totally completing the net, I left a little hole just big enough for me to squeeze through.
Why? For an escape route, obviously.
I’m settling in at a three-way intersection, which is now hemmed in by my webs over each passage.
But if I blocked it up completely, I wouldn’t be able to get out.
It’s possible, although I doubt it’ll happen, that some fierce opponent might slash through my net.
So I left a hole on purpose, so I can get away in case of an emergency.
Now I’m protected by webs in all three directions, plus, an emergency exit is in place.
The ideal den for a shut-in is complete! Ahhh, there’s no place like home.
All I need now is for prey to get caught in my net on a regular basis.
If I can pull that off, there’s no reason I won’t be able to hide out in this place for the rest of my life.
Awesome!
I did go to school, but other than that, I mostly lived my life on Earth as a recluse. I never talked to anyone at school, and once I got home, I always just played games or surfed the net. Most of my dinners involved adding hot water and waiting three minutes or heating something up on the stove. Occasionally I’d mix things up with a box lunch from the convenience store.
My parents both worked all day and usually got home late. And even when they came home, we never saw each other face-to-face. We only did the bare minimum of chores. To be perfectly honest, it was like living with two total strangers. It’s kind of impressive in a way, that I can’t even remember what my real parents looked like.
Still, I wonder if they were a little bit sad about my death, at least?
Nah, probably not. Although they might be sad about losing what little income I contributed to the household.
I used to earn a small amount of rent money through stocks. If there’s anything they’d miss, it’s probably that.
That was how cold our family relationship was.
My lifestyle probably contributed to my extreme awkwardness when it came to communicating with others.
Or it might’ve just been the personality I was born with, not how I was raised.
As a result, I didn’t have anyone I could call a friend, and even in game chats I usually didn’t say much.
Likewise, my character in my favorite MMO had a reputation for being silent.
My avatar was a somber old bald dude, too. He was a real strong-and-silent type, the kind of good guy who let his actions do all the talking.
And his stats were pretty out there—I maxed out my attack power and speed and left everything else untouched.
But that didn’t matter as long as I didn’t get hit! I just avoided enemy attacks and plowed through everything with a hit-and-run strategy. The perfect plan, aside from the part that a single hit would probably kill me!
Hmm.
I don’t really care about not being able to see my parents or classmates anymore, but it makes me a little sad to think that I’ll never see that old bald guy again. I made him a legend for being one of the few free-to-players who could stand up against the pay-to-players, so it’s a shame to have abandoned his file like that.
…In short, I’m more attached to a game character than I am to my parents. I’ve got a knack for this being-inhuman thing, if I do say so myself.
Besides, it’s true—I’ve never been that good at being a person.
Although, I suppose believing it’s okay to be a bad person is the first step toward becoming one…
Well, since I’m already a bad person, I might as well say it.
Being a recluse is the best! Whoo-hoo!