“My lord, my lord.”
“Whatever is the matter, Lew, my dear wife?”
“You’re a dummy, aren’t you, my lord?”
“Why, that certainly came out of nowhere, didn’t it, Lew, my dear wife?”
Then, the rest of the wife gang, chilling nearby, decided to throw in their two cents. BTW, Nell was back now, so everyone was here.
“And yet, she did not stutter, Yuki, so there is no room for misunderstanding.”
“But don’t worry, Mr. Yuki, you’re a lovable dummy.”
“This is true. They say the dumber the child, the more adorable they are.”
“Why are you all ganging up on me? What did I do to deserve this bullying?”
“Two very good questions that can be answered with this: We do it because we wish to. More precisely, we wish to see you moan and groan under our relentless assault. No other reason.”
“I’m here for you, though, Mr. Yuki! Even if Lefi makes you cry, I’ll comfort you with a ‘There, there, it’s all right!’”
“Then perhaps I shall offer my lap for my poor, pitiful Master Yuki?”
“This is all your fault, Lew. You started this, so why don’t you tell me why, huh?”
“Aha ha ha! Weeell, you know how you like to tell Iluna and the girls, ‘If you don’t wanna end up an irresponsible good-for-nothing like me, you gotta study!’? Except you’re super knowledgeable, which makes me wonder what your standards for their education are.”
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I only know stuff. I don’t have the ability to actually put it to good use. While I can say stuff like ‘Hey, how about that?’ or ‘What do you think about this?’ without really caring about the consequences, it’s impossible for me to actually leverage what I know. So I guess to answer your question, I want them to be smart enough to apply what they learn.”
For me, a smart person was someone who was capable of applying themself. Good grades were enough to get you through school, but that was it. Never mind that my grades had always been crap! Which was why calling me “knowledgeable” was a mistake. In my old world, everyone who’d finished compulsory education should’ve known as much as I did.
Also, I loved reading books, and that included manga. I watched a lot of anime too, so you could say I’d acquired a decent amount of knowledge through all of that as well. After all, people learned about specific, nerdy things through fun pastimes and not studying, and I was no exception. And I imagined that people who could apply what they’d learned had worked hard to be able to do so, both in this world and my old one. It was because they knew stuff that they were able to make use of it. At least, that was what I thought.
“But, my lord, I think you’re doing a pretty good job as emperor. Sure, you’re not perfect at it, but you’re doing your best, and that’s admirable. Even if it’s in name only.”
“I thank you, Lew, my dear wife. It seems you are the only one on my side... No, wait, now that I think about it, Nell and Leila are too. Which means Lefi is my enemy.”
“Oh, is it a fight you want? Then a fight you shall have.”
“Lefi, you’re pregnant, so no violent moves out of you,” Nell warned her.
“Fear not, for I have been learning how to trounce our husband without moving an inch. I will teach the rest of you my technique later.”
“Is it just me, or have you gotten more aggressive lately? Or maybe you always have been. Hmm.”
“A mother is one who protects her child! I must be strong against any imbeciles that come my way. Pardon me, I must be aggressive.”
“Now is that any way to talk to your husband?”
“You know she’s just messing with you, my lord. Lefi knows she can rely on you. And I do too!”
“I love you, Lew.”
She giggled, blushing. Damn, you’re too cute.
“Lew, cease your pandering. While I will not deny there are times when he proves himself dependable, he is fundamentally useless. We must remain ever vigilant so our children do not take after this fool.”
“Oh gosh, you’re right! They’d sure be a handful if they turned out reckless like my lord... It’s a good thing we don’t have to worry about Iluna and the other girls in that respect. They’re really naturally thoughtful, even though they can be so much like him.”
“You make a very good point, Lefi. Mr. Yuki is who he is, so it’s too late to change him, but we have to be careful with how the children grow up...”
“Master Yuki, I regret to inform you that I can’t come to your defense either. While a bit of mischief is charming, your attitude goes beyond that and right into foolhardy.”
“Cheese Louise, how exactly do you guys see me, then?”
“An imbecile.”
“A dummy.”
“For better or for worse, careless. Also dumb.”
“I would say you’re worth taking care of, though ill-advised to leave to your own devices.”
“Thank you for your honesty. Just feeling the love my wives have for me has me on the verge of tears.”
Clearly, I’d been very wrong to think anyone was on my side. A husband’s job was to protect his home all by his lonesome. I guess this is what they call a man’s battle...
“Aight, I see how it is. Since you lovely ladies insist on acting like that, I’ve got an idea too. Once the kids are old enough, I’ll teach them all kinds of naughty games that they can’t tell their mothers about and make things even harder for you all!”
“Pray elaborate on these games.”
“First, I’ll have them roll around in the mud—get ’em so dirty that laundry’s gonna be a real pain in the ass.”
“That definitely does sound like a pain,” Nell said with a laugh.
“But we have a magical washing machine, which makes laundry so much easier for us than it is for the rest of the world, my lord.”
“Okay, fine. Then I’ll teach them lots of sports that’ll get them all banged up! I’ll expand the athletic area I built recently and turn it into a place where they’ll be so obsessed with running around and doing stuff that they don’t even notice their scrapes and bruises! Their clothes will definitely get covered in mud there too.”
“I suspect that such activity will only make them stronger and healthier, Master Yuki.”
“They should not sustain grievous wounds. That is the only thing we ask you to be mindful of.”
“Now for my ultimate evil tactic! I’ll spoil the hell out of them, to the point that they get fed up with me, just to make them more independent faster! You’re gonna feel so lonely and emotional as you watch your children grow up so fast.”
“In other words, you’ll be raising them with lots of love, hm?” Nell teased.
“All I hear is that you’re going to do your best to be a good husband, my lord!” Lew added.
“Fine! Don’t believe me! See if I care! But just so you know, my plan is secretly already underway... You’ll see! It’ll play out just like how I said! And when it does, you’ll cry, scream, and despair at the cruel and wicked demon lord’s dastardly deeds, wondering what kind of man you chose as a husband.”
“O cruel and wicked demon lord, it is time for you to help us with dinner.”
“Yes, ma’am.”