“So, Yuki, Rir. For the sake of you useless husbands, we shall teach you how to hunt!”
“Grr.”
The two of us dudes had been summoned out of nowhere by our wives, who wanted to talk to us about something. Curious, Rir and I made our way to the den he shared with his wife. When we got there, we found Lefi, standing with her arms crossed and looking proud for some reason, and Rir’s wife, sitting next to her with a smile on her face.
“Uhhh...what now?”
“Grr?”
Lefi answered us.
“You two are much too pathetic. That will not do.”
“Wow, hello to you too.”
“At this rate, you will one day be killed by a monster and die as mewling groans escape your weak bodies. Therefore, before that happens, we are going to train you!”
“Th-Thanks?”
I didn’t really understand what was going on, but Lefi seemed pretty gung ho about it. Where was all this coming from, anyway? I knew she’d gone to visit Mrs. Rir today, so I wondered if this was what they’d discussed.
“Wait a sec. You know you aren’t supposed to do anything too strenuous, right? Hunting is as tough as it gets.”
“To me, hunting monsters is but a trifle! No different from jogging! Thus have I decided to publish a book titled Hunting for Pregnant Women: The Practical Edition. I aim to make it a bestseller.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I plan to market it with the headline ‘A Must Read! After Perusing This, Pregnant Women Can Fight! And Protect Their Husbands!’”
“Again, what the hell are you talking about?”
This was very bad. Clearly, I’d given Lefi too much weird knowledge. Also, did she really think she could write a dang book without ever having read a single one? I distinctly remembered her telling me she hated the written word.
Ignoring my remark, Lefi, still inexplicably excited, jumped onto Mrs. Rir’s back.
“Come! With us! We are off to the western area!”
“Mrs. Rir, you know you don’t have to humor her, right?”
But Rir’s wife only chuckled cheerfully in response.
“Grr.”
“R-Really? If you’re sure, then... Okey dokey, Rir. I don’t really know what’s going on, but I guess we’re going.”
“G-Grr.”
Rir looked confused too. Despite our hesitation, I climbed onto his back and off we went after Lefi and his wife. This was all so out of the blue that I hadn’t brought En with me, so in light of our destination, I took out a weapon I’d made a while ago to defend myself but had never used before—Gouha, another war club. The name translated roughly to “thunderous domination.”
Gouha: A war club crafted by Supreme Ruler Yuki. It has the power to destroy everything, capable even of shattering heaven and earth. However, it’s far too heavy to be called a weapon. Quality: S+.
I’d created it as a successor to Goumetsu, the original war club I still used occasionally, and its shape was pretty similar. The difference was that Gouha was bigger. Even though I knew how heavy it actually was, Goumetsu felt fairly light to me now, so I’d made the head on Gouha even bigger and more than doubled the weight. It was heavy enough that even I could just barely wield it with one hand. I’d fine-tuned it to the max without going so hard that it would throw me off-balance whenever I brandished it. If I swung it with a hundred percent of my current strength...well, like the description said, I would shatter heaven and earth.
I’d asked Lefi to try it out once, and she’d swung it around like she was swinging a dead branch. To be honest, I hadn’t been all that surprised. Despite the improvement in my own abilities, I’d felt the vast difference between the two of us even more keenly. Though Gouha was nowhere on En’s level or as refined as Yoruha, the sword I’d made for Nell a while back, it was still pretty good. I actually liked it a lot.
So, after some time running, Lefi and Mrs. Rir suddenly stopped. We’d arrived in the western area of the Demonic Forest.
“We are here. Listen well, Yuki, Rir. When in enemy territory, begin by sensing the presence of living creatures. Keep calm, and you shall be able to sense the signs of life everywhere.”
“O-Okay.”
Puzzled, I just nodded along as she started her lecture, her tone super serious. Her words and actions were weirder than usual.
“Now, Mrs. Rir shall advise you.”
Rir’s wife nodded sharply and let out a rumble.
“Grr.”
Translation: “Let’s put our energy into this and do our best.”
Yes, ma’am.
“Fine words. Fine words indeed. Have you taken them to heart? Good. Here is the next bit of counsel: Should you sense a monster’s presence, strike first! Take the enemy’s life with that singular blow. That is how you can triumph while minimizing your losses!”
“Right.”
I knew that already.
“Then let us put it into practice straightaway! Do you see that large thing over there? It looks mighty, but with enough determination of your own, you can take it down with a bang! Say it with me! A bang! Go on, give it a try.”
“Are you nuts?”
The monster Lefi pointed at was a particularly large one that looked like a plesiosaur. Its size surpassed anything in the very depths of the Demonic Forest. Every footfall and movement was a heavy thud that shook the ground. We could hear and feel the tremors all the way over here.
Any which way I looked at it, this was not the kind of opponent we should be messing with. In fact, on stats alone, it was way, way, way stronger than me and Rir. And that was despite our evolutions.
“Argh! Of course you complain before you even try. Fine. I shall lend a helping hand to my worthless husband! Hah!”
Not a millisecond after Lefi psyched herself up, there was a huge thud. When I looked at the plesiosaur, I saw its head flying. Then, its massive body collapsed, and blood splattered everywhere.
...
“Do you see now? That is how you pulverize an enemy.”
“No, I don’t, actually. I don’t know what I should’ve learned from you just now. Wanna ask me what just happened? Beats me.”
“The absolute gall. This is why husbands are such a thorn in women’s sides. Can you not at least identify your own wife’s one-shot spirit beam and use something like it yourself?”
“Oh, is that what that was? Silly me. How could I have missed that? Seriously, Lefi, I don’t get you today.”
She was insanely pumped. Just raring to go. Also, the way that head had flown off just now definitely wasn’t because of a beam.
“G-Grr...”
Below me, Rir sounded confused. I feel you, bud. You and I are in the same boat right now.
“I trust you are observing closely? Now, Mrs. Rir, kindly impart another piece of advice.”
Mrs. Rir nodded and spoke.
“Grr.”
Translation: “Put your mind to it and you, too, can shoot a beam.”
If you say so, ma’am.
“Yes, yes, most excellent. Now, Yuki, Rir, give it a go! Yuki, shoot with your eyes! Rir, shoot with your mouth! Come now, ‘time is a-wasting,’ as you are so fond of saying.”
“Are you nuts?”
Why are you ladies so into beams? On top of that, our only options were to shoot them from our eyes and mouths.
“Lefi.”
“What?”
“If you wanted to play, all you had to do was ask.”
One thing I’d figured out by now was that she was enjoying jerking us around. Well, I guess I didn’t really need to point that out considering how obvious she’d been about it this whole time.
“Hmm... I see. Then let us end this farce here.”
See? I freaking knew it. Rolling my eyes at the ridiculousness of it all, I put Gouha back into Inventory. What a waste of my determination it’d been to lug it on my shoulder. Next time, buddy.
“So, you wanna tell me what that was all about?”
“If you must know, we felt the need to remind you both of a wife’s majesty. Are you suitably awed?”
“You really think that’s what you did? Boy, do I have another bridge to sell you. And besides, we already know damn well that our wives are majestic. Isn’t that right, Rir?”
“Grr.”
For his part, my homie was discussing something with his wife. The rueful smile on his face told me that he was no match for Mrs. Rir’s mischief. Don’t see him looking like that every day... I guess he’s only like this with the missus.
“Huh? What’s with that look on your face?”
“Well, I was just thinking that Mrs. Rir really is a cougar. You, though... Not so much.”
“Oho, I see you yet have the temerity to say such things to my face. Very well. For your bravery, I shall let you off by simply turning you into minced meat.”
“Does that really count as letting me off?”
Pretty sure that meant she didn’t forgive me.
Lefi snorted, then continued.
“Fine. I will be honest. I merely thought it would be nice for the four of us to take a break every once in a while. We shall be together for a long time, so should we not deepen our bonds with more regular interactions?”
Mm. So that’s what you were thinking. Mrs. Rir wasn’t just our newest neighbor but as close to family as you could get. Now that she was married to my boy Rir, it was inevitable that she’d have more contact with the rest of my family in the future. Then maybe this was Lefi’s way of making time for us all to get to know each other better.
“All righty, then... I say we spend the day just the four of us! But not here in the western area. I’d like to keep my head on, thanks. Sooo, what do you guys wanna do?”
“That is for you two to decide. I have already shown you an excerpt from Hunting: The Practical Edition. One type of recreation, if you will. And Mrs. Rir has bestowed upon you both her wisdom as well. Is that not so?”
“Grr.”
Grinning, Rir’s wife nodded.
“You call that recreation?”
“What else would one call it? So, Yuki, Rir, the metaphorical ball is in your court. We are looking forward to how you husbands will entertain us wives.”
“Grr.”
“...”
“...”
Rir and I looked at each other. We moved away from them and began discussing our next step in hushed whispers. Our wives just watched over us with happy smiles.