“Hmm, hmm, hmm-mm, mm. ”
In the middle of the night—actually, to be more precise, among a sea of stars, Mukuro Hoshimiya drifted along, her hair floating around her. Above was the endless black of space; below her, the enormous blue planet.
After parting with Shido, she had used Michael to open a door and return to this dead place. It wasn’t that she hadn’t enjoyed Shido or being on the ground. In fact, the city he had shown her was quite the wonderful place. She simply decided that this place—a place with absolutely no ambient noise—was more ideal for being alone with her thoughts.
“But…,” Mukuro murmured to herself, and blinked rapidly as she turned her gaze down toward Earth. “ ’Tis lovely. To have such a vision before my eyes at all times and to feel nothing of it… Muku has certainly been wasteful.”
She rubbed her chest in the place where Shido had inserted the fake Michael the other day.
“Hee-hee! I must be grateful to Shido.”
She stretched out her limbs and threw her head back. It felt good to move her body. And it wasn’t just that. The scenery, a sigh, the light of the sun, the taste of a meal—she was feeling all of these external stimuli for the first time in so long—they were all so delightful, she could hardly stand it. This was exactly—
“…Hmmm?” She cocked her head. Why would she have taken a key to her own heart despite these many wonders in this world?
“Mmm?” She crossed her arms and legs, slowly spinning around as she wrestled with the question, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t remember. Eventually, she sighed in resignation.
“Well. No matter.”
Right now, she had something much more important in her life.
Shido. Shido Itsuka. The boy who had unlocked her heart and given her a world of rainbows. She loved him, and he loved her back.
“Ah, hmm, how gratifying. Has mutual love always been such rapture?”
Simply thinking about Shido made her heart soar; she felt truly blissful. She understood now. Shido had been exactly right.
There was just one small problem. Her beloved was too kind.
“Muku must do something about that.” She smiled brightly and pulled the enormous key out of nowhere.
✦ ✦ ✦
Each day of their life was somehow better than the last. When they got up in the morning, the mother, the father, and the older sister said good morning to them. They had no idea that it could be this wonderful to have your own family there when you woke up.
After the good mornings, it was time for breakfast with the whole family. Before that, there was one other little joy—their sister would tie their hair back.
“Your hair is honestly so pretty,” their sister always used to say as she pulled a brush through their hair.
They were pleased and proud to be complimented by their beloved sister. They adored this time spent together each morning.
Their sister’s deft fingers wound their long hair up into neat buns in no time flat. In mere minutes, the disheveled mass of bedhead would disappear and all that would be left was an adorable girl. The first time their sister transformed them like this, they were certain their sister was, in fact, a witch. When they told her this curiously, their sister looked surprised, then smiled and gently stroked their head again.
Once their hair was taken care of, they would eat the delicious breakfast the mother prepared for them, say their good-byes, and go to school. And when they got home from school, the mother was there to welcome them.
In the evenings, the family would eat supper, and they would go up onto the roof to stargaze with their star-loving sister. On hot summer nights, they would spread out a plastic tarp, lie back side by side, and gaze up at the sky. Their sister would point to one twinkling light after the other and tell them the origin of its name, its constellation.
As a young child, they couldn’t actually understand all of it, but they loved to watch their sister as she passionately explained the stars. They went up to the roof nearly every day.
Eventually, overcome by sleepiness, they would start to nod off, and their sister would joke that she’d gone on for too long and gently stroke their hair. They loved slowly drifting off to sleep like this.
Then they would wake up, and a new day would start.
Their straightforward life brought them so much joy. They nearly burst with love for the new father, mother, and sister they had gotten. A family of their very own. A space of their very own. People who loved them. People they were allowed to love.
Their young self believed that this happy time would go on forever, but the end of that world came far sooner than they thought.
This ending wasn’t brought about by anything serious. They didn’t get into an accident and go on to the great beyond; their parents didn’t get divorced and scatter the family across the four corners of the earth; their birth parents didn’t suddenly come knocking on their door and insist on their parental rights.
But one day…
It was a day they had been very much looking forward to. Their sister had promised to take them to Tengu Tower.
As it turned out, their sister planned on bringing along a friend from school.
Yes. That was all. A single slice of life hardly worth writing about.
But to them, it was absolutely unforgivable. After all, their sister was their sister. This promise was supposed to have been just for them. Their sister was supposed to be someone only they were allowed to love. Their sister was supposed to love only them.
And this sister had, without their knowledge, been playing with a friend they didn’t even know. This person was encroaching on their and their sister’s territory.
Just the thought of it made them feel like an iron fist was squeezing their heart; it was so, so painful they could hardly stand it.
However, they gritted their teeth and tried hard to have fun that day with the sister and the friend. Until they were looking out at the city from the observation deck, and the friend said to them, “You know, XX. Your hair’s so long. Maybe you should cut it a little? It could be cute, don’t you think, YY?”
The friend sought the opinion of their sister, and their sister made a show of thinking about it before answering.
“Hmm, I guess. Maybe it is a bit too long. How about I give you a little haircut?”
Neither of them was speaking maliciously. In fact, the friend and their sister were simply concerned about them walking with this too-long hair swinging behind them.
But these words shocked them to their core, a hand crushing their heart, and they fled from the tower.
They were so, so sad. It was unbearable.
Their sister had said it was so pretty. Their sister had said she loved it. But their sister had made a complete 180 after the friend’s remark.
In other words, their sister cared for the friend more than them. If their sister was put in a situation where she had to choose between them or the friend, she would choose the friend.
When they thought about this, anxiety spread out within them like ink dripping onto fabric.
Without any evidence at all, they had assumed that the father, the mother, and the sister loved them the most. But the three of them had lived in this world for a long time before they took them in, and they each had their own relationships they knew nothing about. The father, the mother, and the sister were all talking and laughing with people they didn’t know in places they didn’t know.
Unh… Ah. Aaah!
Just the thought of it made them want to throw up. The heart that had learned how to love and be loved finally recognized this feeling as sadness.
And then…