“Please stop saying sexual things to Fumiya-kun!”
✦ ✦ ✦
“…Pardon?”
Rena-chan tilted her head, and time froze for me and Mimimi.
✦ ✦ ✦
When Ashigaru-san came back, he was trying not to laugh.
“Heh-heh… Oh, wow, your girlfriend is amazing, nanashi-kun. I heard her from my seat over there.”
“I-I’m sorry…!”
“I don’t think it’ll be in the stream, but… Heh-heh-heh.”
Ashigaru-san was laughing unusually hard, while Kikuchi-san was bright red and bobbing her head in apology. Mimimi and I had no choice but to watch the two of them with awkward smiles. Rena-chan had warded off Kikuchi-san’s admonition with amusement. “What a nice girlfriend you have,” she said coolly and then fluttered off somewhere. I didn’t know what she was thinking.
✦ ✦ ✦
✦ ✦ ✦
“Nanashi-kun, could I talk about what happened today on stream—?”
“Absolutely not!”
Seeing my reaction, Ashigaru-san burst out laughing again. Okay, so he’s one of those people, huh? He thinks it’s funny when people are embarrassed or uncomfortable.
“Ahem, ahem!”
And then Mimimi gathered attention to herself by saying the sound effect instead of actually clearing her throat. “Right, so we’d like to get down to business!”
“Oh yeah. A career-path seminar, was it?” said Ashigaru-san.
“Yes! And so—passing it over to you, Brain!”
“Hey.”
She’d dumped the whole business of explaining the details onto me. When she makes me do this stuff, it kinda feels like “Brain” is a minion for odd jobs.
And so I explained. “…That’s why I was hoping that I could ask you to do this speech for us, Ashigaru-san…”
“Hmm, hmm, I see. It’s another request to speak, then.”
“Oh, do people ask you for that sometimes?”
“Yeah. I do it as a pro gamer, and I also have a day job, remember? I occasionally do speeches for that, too.”
Then Mimimi went, “Ohhh! So you must know what you’re doing! Brain believes in you, so I knew you’d be something special!”
Mimimi was talking like she was completely used to this. Being able to do her usual Mimimi thing even though she knew hardly anyone here was pretty amazing.
Ashigaru-san was overwhelmed. “Uh, yeah…”
“So as for your conditions…how much do you normally charge to appear…?” I timidly asked the difficult part.
Ashigaru-san’s expression shifted into something distinctly adult. “Hmm, yeah. Well, there is actually a general market price…but even if it is work, I couldn’t bear to take money from my kouhai who wants to be a pro.”
“Oh, no, but I couldn’t have you do it for free…”
“Well, if that’s the case, nanashi-kun…” Ashigaru-san grinned like he was scheming something. “Instead of payment, can I ask you for a favor?”
“A—a favor…?”
He nodded calmly. “I’ve been thinking for a while now that I want to liven things up in the Atafami competition scene.”
His eyes were calm but enthusiastic. “But just having talented players fighting on and on inevitably gets boring. The best players tend to be the same people every time. Some parts of the audience will enjoy that indefinitely, but that doesn’t work for the casuals,” he said fluently, as if he was making a presentation. “So I want something fresh.”
I think I know where this is going.
“That’s where you come in, nanashi-kun. —Will you join this tournament?”
“I—I knew it… Well, if that’s all it is.”
“Ohhh! So I can see you fight, Brain?!” Mimimi’s eyes were shining.
Now Ashigaru-san directed his gaze and voice in an unexpected direction. “And—Mimimi-san, was it?”
“Huh? Me?” Mimimi was taken by surprise, and he eyed her like he was scheming something.
What exactly is he planning to say? She’s just a substitute for the student council president.
“As soon as I said hello to you, I was thinking—your voice carries well, and it’d sound good on stream.”
“…Huh?”
“You’re articulate, you have a lively inflection, and you’re pleasant to listen to. There’s not many women active in the competitive Atafami scene, and I’ve been thinking that’s an issue.”
“D-do you mean…?!” Mimimi trembled.
It was true. Looking across this venue, the gender ratio was nine to one…or not even that. It was really all guys.
“That’s what I mean. I want your help for just a bit.”
“W-wait, please. But I’ve never played Atafami…!”
“Are you familiar with the blind-guessing meme?” Ashigaru-san dodged Mimimi’s protest and continued explaining, taking control of the conversation. That seemed like an adult conversational skill. “It’s a thing where people know nothing about a given piece of media, and they’ll show off just how clueless they are about it to entertain the audience.”
Mimimi stared blankly back at him. I was aware of it, but if you’re not online a lot, you wouldn’t really know.
“And there’s a subsection of that called blind commentary.”
At this point, I fully understood what Ashigaru-san was trying to say.
“Basically, it’s where someone who doesn’t know anything about that game commentates on a match, and we laugh at how ridiculous it is.”
Then it seemed that Mimimi caught on, too.
“Mimimi-san, will you talk for us for a single match? Just say whatever you like, whatever comes to mind?” Ashigaru-san turned his face toward the commentator’s mics, which were equipped for streaming. “With me, in those seats.”
✦ ✦ ✦
“…No waaaaaaaaaaaay!”
✦ ✦ ✦
“Well then, the next match will be an experimental one, and we’re going to try and see what happens when we have commentary from a high school girl who doesn’t know much about Atafami. This is Ashigaru commentating.”
Mimimi just had this unthinkable job foisted on her. “Th-thank you for having me!”
“I’m sure things will seem nonsensical at first, but please cut us some slack. All right, Mimimi-san, say hello.”
“Say hello? U-um, I’m Mimimi, and I’m going to be commentating…is that okay?!”
“That’s fine. Mimimi-san is a classmate of nanashi-kun, famous as a high school Atafami player, and he came here today to ask me to do a speech at his school’s…career-path seminar, was it?”
“Th-that’s right! And you said yes, but only if I help do commentary!”
“Ha-ha-ha, don’t tell the audience. And so Mimimi-san is an amateur when it comes to Atafami. Everyone, say hi to her. Oh, by the way, sorry, but we’re not showing faces.”
In order to succeed Hinami’s story as the perfect student council president, Mimimi had gotten into quite the situation. It’s a tough job filling those shoes. I’m glad I’m just the Brain.
“No, no saying hi to me!! I really don’t know anything, you know?!”
“That’s what makes it interesting. Well, it’s only one match, so do your best.”
“O-okay! But at what?!”
“So the next match is to get into the top eight. Up against nanashi-kun, the online champion who will be competing offline for the first time, we have Kevin, who uses Jake. How does he look to you, Mimimi-san?”
“Huh?! Um.” Mimimi hesitated for a moment, then went for it. “Well, nanashi’s my friend, so I hope he does his best!”
“Thank you for your very biased opinion.”
Ashigaru-san’s chill comeback made the audience chuckle. Mimimi’s wild energy and Ashigaru-san’s steadiness might actually make them a pretty compatible duo.
And then—of course. The match that Mimimi was going to be commentating was none other than my own. It felt a little like a home-court advantage, but I’m not sure if that made it easier, or harder because it was distracting.
With these thoughts in mind, the match began. I controlled Jack to hit my opponent with a dash attack.
“Wow! A punch to the stomach! That looks like it hurts!”
“It just does damage numbers…but now that you mention it, maybe it does hurt…”
“It’s gotta hurt! His whole weight was in that one!” Mimimi voiced her incredibly unsophisticated opinion, and the audience chuckled again.
Trying to stay focused, I knocked one stock off my opponent.
“Now nanashi-kun has got a head start.”
“Um, Ashigaru-san! I want to ask something!”
“What is it?”
“These guys… Was it Jack and Jake?”
“Yep.”
“Why are they fighting?”
“Huh? Because it’s a tournament.” Ashigaru-san answered like he was confused.
“I don’t mean that!” Mimimi said energetically. “I mean, that’s why nanashi and Kevin are fighting, right? There’s no reason for Jack and Jake to fight, is there?!”
“Well…I don’t think so…”
“Huh?! There’s no reason?! That’s not good! Fighting for no reason only causes grief!”
“Hmm, I never thought a match in a tournament would turn into a philosophical conversation.”
The audience tittered again. By the way, when I glanced at the monitor installed a ways away from me to see the comment screen, it seemed people were receiving them well. I saw lololololol and lmfao and even What the hell, people with good communication skills IRL are powerful online, too?
Eventually, the match progressed—
✦ ✦ ✦
“Whoa there, Brain?! Are you okay?!”
“…Brain?”
“Ah, whoops.”
✦ ✦ ✦
“Brain!! Mess up like that, and Fuka-chan will—!”
“Fuka-chan?”
“Ah…”
✦ ✦ ✦
Hmm, there’s no mistaking it. As I played, I came to a realization.
“This isn’t the home-court advantage. I’m…completely distracted.”
But I was still quite a bit better than my opponent, so I was able to win without trouble, so all was good. Or was it?