It was just about five o’clock, and we were in the food court at Cocoon City. We were all lining up for the different restaurants we wanted to eat at, and I had chosen a tan tan ramen shop.
I picked up my tray of tan tan noodles with extra sesame oil and carried it to the table where the others were. By the way, I’d already seen some terrible and relatable stories online such as “I got turned off when I saw my boyfriend in the food court anxiously looking around with his tray,” so I made sure I knew exactly where our table was beforehand and headed straight over. That should avoid any disillusionment.
And so we sat at a table for four, with Mizusawa next to me, Kikuchi-san across from me, and Haruka-chan beside her, and we began eating our food.
By the way, Kikuchi-san and Haruka-chan were sitting side by side with matching cheese dak-galbi, and Mizusawa had chosen an extra-large beef bowl. He always eats a surprising amount.
“Um, these clothes—”
“After this—”
So the conversation went, mainly chatting about safe topics, and I made comments to show I was listening as I considered: Since I’d gone to the trouble of bringing these two with me, couldn’t I smoothly slide into the topic at hand?
But right as I thought that, Mizusawa took a glance at everyone’s faces, then said, “Oh, hey.” He pointed to Haruka-chan’s cheese dak-galbi. “So you like cheese, too?” He said it smoothly and in his usual tone, but I immediately caught on to what he was implying. We all know who the other person was.
“Ah-ha-ha… Yeah. I used to eat cheesecake and stuff with my sister quite a lot.”
“Ha-ha-ha, I knew it.”
Amazing as usual. I’m really glad he came, I thought as I expanded on that subject myself.
“Hey, since we’re all here, tell these two some stories about your sister.”
“Sure! Is there anything you’d like to ask?”
In fact, I had nothing but questions, and now I had to choose one.
Her past, her other sister, her effort, Oinko, and cheese. While thinking of the many elements that comprised Hinami, I recalled the video letter, the original trigger for this fallout with her. It didn’t have anything to do with cheese; I decided to ask this:
“So does your sister…get along with your mom and dad?”
The parent-child relationship. It’s a common psychoanalysis at this point—if your parents don’t love you when you’re little, it does stuff to your self-esteem or whatever. You see it all the time online.
While I’m a little skeptical of the idea that your self-esteem is decided purely based on those relationships, I felt that clue would get me closest to the answer. Haruka-chan and her mother were the only ones in that video letter.
“Umm, our father hasn’t been around since we were small…”
“Oh…I see.”
I regretted my question, thinking that I must have touched on something inappropriate, but for some reason, Haruka-chan was smiling as if she was glad I asked. There was no indication she was bothered at all.
“Well, she was actually…”
And then she declared with shining eyes:
“…really close with our mom!”
Perhaps it would be going too far to say it was an unexpected answer, but I was taken aback by how strongly she replied.
I hadn’t necessarily expected to hear that their relationship was bad, but still, I’d assumed that something was probably abnormal about their family. But Haruka-chan adored her sister so much, and Hinami was close with her mother as well, so I couldn’t spot any room for friction.
Shooting a look at Mizusawa, I added another question for Haruka-chan. “Has she…always been?” If there was nothing more to the story with her mother, then any family issues could be connected to the absence of their father, which she’d casually mentioned, or…
“Yes!”
“Ha-ha-ha. You sound very sure,” Mizusawa gently commented as he glanced in my direction with a raised eyebrow.
Haruka-chan affirmed it so enthusiastically, it was like she was saying they prided themselves on how close they were. Mizusawa must also have been surprised to be wrong.
“Umm, how have things been at home?” I continued.
“Mom really praises me and my sister a lot.” Haruka-chan spoke as if she was thinking back on happy memories. “Ever since we were small, every single day… Well, maybe not quite that often, but still, she’s always said those things to us.”
“What kinds of things…?” Kikuchi-san asked. But for some reason—
Kikuchi-san had been listening to Haruka-chan with a gentle expression, the way you would with a little sister telling a sweet story, but now her expression was gradually turning serious.
Haruka-chan blushed a little shyly. “Like, ‘That’s amazing,’ ‘You’re doing great,’ ‘Thank you for being born.’”
“Oh…I see.”
That was kinda extreme.
Kikuchi-san’s gaze remained fixed on Haruka-chan.
So this was actually the complete opposite from the common assumption. Now that I knew Hinami had been devotedly showered with love and affirmation, I wasn’t sure what to think.
It was a good thing that she had received a lot of praise. But it seemed to me a little unusual that she’d even heard the line “Thank you for being born” on the regular.
It could have given her extreme self-confidence or the emptiness she had now…but if you start arguing that anything can turn out the opposite of what you expect, you can connect whatever testimony you get to whatever result you want to derive. Deciding what you want first and then building your rationale is a dishonest approach.
I let go of my preconceived notions for the moment and reconsidered. “I see… So they’ve had a really good relationship.”
“Yes! Oh, and…” Haruka-chan gave a happy nod at my answer and started to continue. She looked and sounded so honest as she sent the truth I’d been speculating about fleeing from my grasp.
But then…