You Tomorrow Is All I Need., Itsuki Hashima’s latest work, was released as a two-volume set in early April. It was a sort of “OP hero” tale, set in a fantasy swords-and-sorcery realm and featuring an incredibly powerful protagonist laying waste to everything around him.
Despite a title that suggested a romance novel, it was littered with blood-and-guts violence and explicit sex scenes, and the hero’s characterization was a far cry from the realistic, relatable, generally cool protagonists of Itsuki’s past work. This guy had overwhelming force, but he didn’t use it for do-gooder justice—he just raged whenever his emotions drove him over the edge, not hesitating to kill even women and children in his way. This was no Han Solo–style roguish yet ultimately appealing hero, either. There was no rhyme or reason to his actions; sometimes he’d help people without any expectation of getting anything back, and sometimes he’d abandon those in similar situations without a second thought.
He’d save people, and kill people, because he was in a good mood. He’d save people, and kill people, because he was in a bad mood. He’d do it because the skies were gray. He’d do it because the sun was yellow. He’d do it because he was hungry. He behaved wildly, without any consistency, like a young child granted immense power, and the story ended with him being hunted down and killed by a woman he previously saved and granted part of his power to.
“Perhaps I was waiting all this time for someone to kill me…”
He had hissed the sentence as he faced off with the heroine. And when he was really was cornered, pathetically wailing and begging for his life, there was no courageous beauty to his final moments; all that remained was a bad aftertaste.
It was a completely different thing from any of Itsuki Hashima’s previous work, and a pretty unusual release by light novel standards overall. It was thus greeted with mixed reviews—if anything, the scales tipped toward the negative side at first.
“I can’t empathize with him.”
“I hate him.”
The book attracted a lot of ire from readers used to the realistic characters and tales of young discovery Itsuki had specialized in since I Want to Be the Protagonist. One of them even sent a handwritten letter to him reading, I wish that you hadn’t written something like this.
Despite that, though, sales continued to grow over time.
“I can’t empathize at all, but somehow, I feel like he’s part of me.”
“It’s a discomforting, unpleasant novel, but I just can’t stop reading.”
“It’s absolutely a masterpiece, but at the same time, I hate it.”
“I hate this novel, but it’s absolutely a masterpiece.”
“It’s thrilling, but so sad.”
“It’s sad, but so thrilling.”
Social media and review sites teemed with feedback like this, as contradictory as the contradictory hero himself. The word-of-mouth consensus was “I can’t really explain it, but this is just really incredible.” It had fallen off the paperback sales rankings two weeks after launch, but it came back on the list after a month, then gradually rose through the ranks—a very unusual trend to see.
Running at the base of the entire novel was a sense of sorrow, an emotion carried by all those who couldn’t figure out a way to live right. When readers picked up on the acute feelings hidden behind all the violent belligerence, they were faced with the truth—“this protagonist isn’t me at all, but still, this feels a lot like my story.” If the real aim of a novel was to make readers experience a life unlike their own, then in a way, You Tomorrow Is All I Need. was actually a very orthodox novel.
This novel, filled with a universality that touched everyone who read it, was written by Itsuki Hashima exclusively for the audience of Kazuko Hashima—or, really, “Nayuta Kani.” This wasn’t the comforting tale of a God-chosen genius being emotionally fulfilled and losing the impulse to create—it was an all-out attack, meant to make her genius heart boil and reignite the fire inside her mind. He put all the skills and emotions he had polished up to now into it, along with a certain something powerful, something too pure and disgusting to call love. It was a bullet propelled by words, designed to take her happy, contented mind and drag it back into the swamp of creation. A 100,000-word fan letter, honed to challenge the god of novels at her own game.
He didn’t let Kazuko read any of the early printouts or galleys; only when it was a complete book, Setsuna’s illustrations included, did he hand it over to her. And after she spent quite a long time reading You Tomorrow Is All I Need., Kazuko didn’t immediately volunteer her feelings about it.
“Itsuki… Would you mind if I had you handle chores and Sora for a little while?”
✦ ✦ ✦
…I want to write a novel.