Why couldn’t things ever work out the way I wanted them to?
I was currently in a place called Oasis Kingdom, a desert nation far from Holfort. A message had arrived from Marie, describing in keen detail everything that’d happened around her recently.
Elysium hovered at my left shoulder. He’d printed her letter out for me to read. By the end, it turned into a desperate plea for help.
A refreshing breeze swept through the room as I lowered the message and heaved a deep sigh. “Jilk’s a real piece of work, putting her through the wringer when she’s pregnant.”
The guy was a hopeless jerk, but he was also my savior. I’d have died in the battle with the empire if he hadn’t swept in at the end and retrieved me. He always came in handy when the going got tough, but somehow, he was an absolute loser on a daily basis. I guess if I weigh his pluses and minuses, they come out about even? Nah, probably still a few more minuses. He was lucky he’d saved my life, or I might really have sent him somewhere remote, isolating him from the rest of the world.
After listening to me rant and reading all the message’s details over my shoulder, Elysium concluded, “He is more trouble than he is worth. Let’s erase him.”
“Don’t say scary stuff like that,” I ordered him.
“I understand your meaning exactly, Master. You want me to erase him secretly, correct? I shall do just that. Before you know it, Jilk will have died from a mysterious illness, and no one shall be the wiser.”
“Stop twisting my words! We’ll leave Jilk to his own devices—wait, no, that might be too dangerous. Maybe I should ask Noelle to give him a talking to. Angie’s busy handling administrative stuff, so I can’t put more on her plate.” Thinking about Noelle and Angie, who’d stayed behind in Holfort, brought me close to tears.
Why did I have to come all the way out to this foreign country anyway? And why the heck was I serving as a teacher at Oasis Kingdom’s school? It was tragic enough that I’d somehow become king of a nation, but now I was somehow far from home educating kids, all because this was the setting for the game’s fourth installment. The “teacher” business was my cover; I’d infiltrated the school to keep tabs on the main character and her love interests.
Elysium’s lens flashed red three times. “A video message has arrived from Lady Olivia. I shall play it now.”
“From Livia?” I cocked my head.
His lens projected a video feed depicting Livia in the kitchen of the apartment we shared here in Oasis Kingdom. She waved and smiled at me, wearing an apron. “Mr. Leon, I’d like you to come home quickly today, since I’m making you fish for dinner. Be sure to let me know if you’ll be late. You’d better not forget, all right? Get in touch with me.”
She was trying to entice me with fish, which was adorable, but something about her solemn expression, and the way she repeatedly emphasized contacting her, gave me pause.
“It’s nice living with the woman you love. That’s the one silver lining in all this misfortune.” My face fell. “But I wish I could be at home, watching our kids grow up.”
“Would you like to see records of the children’s growth?” Elysium asked.
“Yeah, when I get home.”
“Certainly.”
As much as I wanted to avoid further world-ending catastrophes, having to leave home like this seriously sucked. I was really glad that Livia came along, but it was hard not seeing my kids. Having so many might’ve been the bigger issue, though.
“Leaving that issue aside for the moment, there was something odd about the video Lady Olivia sent. It is almost as if she is trying to keep tabs on you,” said Elysium.
I shrugged. “She’s adorable.”
“How magnanimous you are to describe her that way! I am deeply moved, Master.”
“You know, you’re always way too dramatic about everything. Are you actually mocking me? Is that what this is?”
“No,” Elysium said. “I just genuinely believe you are the best Master in the world.”
“Yeah, sure.”
I appreciated his lack of barbs and cheap shots, which Luxion had been fond of, but he was so theatrical about everything that it felt facetious. No, no. He’s a good boy. A good boy with a lot of problems, granted.
“Oh. I should also inform you that Roland was safely discharged from the hospital,” Elysium said.
“Yeah? I couldn’t care less.”
After abdicating the throne, Roland had retired to the countryside and gone back to his old ways. He was supposed to be confined to an island, but he’d slipped away countless times. He always headed for a big city to hit on girls, juggling dozens upon dozens of relationships at once. That alone pissed me off.
His descent into debauchery turned out to be more than one of the women he’d brought to his island could take. She’d snapped and run him through with a knife, landing him in the hospital. Great news, as far as I was concerned; what I wouldn’t have given to see it happen again!
“It’d really make my day if he got stabbed a second time!”
“If I recall correctly, Master, you were concerned for him when I first reported that he had been stabbed and was unconscious in the hospital,” said Elysium. “You asked me repeatedly whether he was all right, and looked visibly relieved when I informed you that he would survive the encounter. Why would you want him to be stabbed again?” He sounded genuinely confused.
I avoided his gaze. He was right that I’d been surprised and concerned at first. I hated Roland’s guts, but I was in the same position as him. We were both surrounded by a harem of women, and when I heard he’d been stabbed by one, I couldn’t help seeing myself in him.
“Look,” I said, “it wouldn’t be the most surprising thing if I got stabbed too.”
“There is no need for you to be concerned about that, Master. I would erase anyone foolish enough to make such an attempt.”
“The scary part is I could picture you doing that.”
“There is no need to picture it. I absolutely would.”
I shook my head at him, nose wrinkled. “See, that’s a little scary. Your loyalty to me is suffocating.”
“I digress, Master. Why is it that you seem to see yourself in Roland?”
“Because I’ve got a bunch of wives too.” I knew admitting it aloud made me sound like a real creep, but I couldn’t help that. If I tried to take the monogamy route, and pick just one of them, the knives would really come out for me.
There was no going back.
To be clear, I didn’t regret having so many women around, but I felt bad about it. If I’d handled things better from the beginning, I wouldn’t have ended up with such a huge harem.
“Your situation and Roland’s are completely different,” Elysium assured me. “In fact, if you desire it, I could dispose of him.”
“Stop it! You’re not killing Roland!” Sure, I had a deep-seated resentment for the guy, and I’d laughed a bit when I heard he’d been stabbed, but I didn’t want to kill him.
“I cannot understand your feelings for him. Do you want him to die or not?”
“Both. I want him to die, but I don’t.”
“Very well. I will save the matter of his extermination for another time.” Elysium swiveled, glanced behind us, and activated his cloaking device to hide himself from view.
Someone was coming upstairs to the school rooftop. When they reached the top step, they flung the door open and stepped outside. It was a male student, which wasn’t surprising, given that this was an all-boy school. The last place I wanted to be, since I had no interest in dudes. My wives would frown on my saying that, though, given the possible implication that I wanted to expand my harem.
The student who’d climbed to the roof was awfully delicate for a boy, with an androgynous face. When he saw me, he smiled. “You’re here again, Professor Leon?” He sounded awfully happy to have found me.
I shrugged. “I like the rooftop. What can I say?” I didn’t sound like a teacher at all. “Anyway, have you got some business with me?”
The student gave me an exasperated look but soon broke into another smile. “You’re supposed to teach our next class. I came up here to get you and make sure you wouldn’t be late.”
This boy actually wasn’t a boy at all; she was the protagonist of the fourth Alte Liebe game. Based on what Erica told me, she was cross-dressing to attend this school. I still didn’t know what had possessed her to come here, though. Erica wasn’t able to provide many details, so I was starting out pretty much flying by the seat of my pants. Elysium and I had come to this desert country specifically to conduct our own investigation.
“All right, let’s head for the classroom,” I suggested, standing up straight as I strode back toward the staircase.
“Aw. I really don’t want to go to class,” complained the protagonist.
“Is that something you ought to say to a teacher?”
She giggled at me.
Before I knew it, we’d reached the classroom. Inside was a group of boys who looked like a bunch of delinquents. They glared at me. I was actually just the assistant homeroom teacher, not a full-fledged professor. Most of the students here were troubled in one way or another. The fourth installment had really crammed a bunch of tropes into its story.
I watched the protagonist take her seat. As the school bell chimed, I scanned the rest of the classroom. Some other boys there were probably her love interests, but I had no way of identifying any of them. All her classmates were potential candidates at this point.
“Glad to see everyone here today,” I said.
I wasn’t the type to be the entire world’s savior, but sadly, no one else was up to the task. Besides, Luxion was awaiting me on the other side. I had to give this my best shot so that I could greet him with a smile when we reunited. It’d feel great to brag to him that I’d saved the world again, so that was just what I would do.
“All right, let’s get started.”
The bigger question was this: How many times would I have to save this stupid place? Honestly, the world of otome games was a real thorn in my side.